When you are newlyweds, everything seems perfect and dreamy, doesn’t it? Slowly and gradually with time, you start to settle down with each other and get to know each other more. And before you know it, the nagging starts, and about every little thing.
Did you load the dishwasher? Did you pick up the dry cleaning? Did you put the toilet seat down? Did you ask the babysitter to come over today, since we won’t be home? Did you take the trash out? And so on and so forth. When your spouse is constantly bombarding you with endless ‘did you do this’ and ‘did you do that’ questions, then my friend, you are married to a nagger.
Most people think that nagging is not that big of a deal, but truth be told, nagging can act as a slow-killer for your marriage. It chips away little by little at your relationship, until there is so much bitterness, anger and resentment, that it seems hard to come back from. The act of nagging can have destructive and serious consequences on your marriage, if not resolved at the right time.
Here Are 7 Signs You Have A Nagging Spouse
1. They try to control you by pushing you constantly.
When you are married to a nagger, the act of nagging can sometimes masquerade as control. If they are constantly keeping you on your toes with some chore or the other, it might mean they are trying to make you do all those things, that THEY want you to do. After a point, nagging stops being a request, and becomes more of weapon to control you.
The moment your spouse starts to micromanage and control every little action of your by being a nag, see it as the last nail in the coffin and put a stop to it. Recognize that their intentions are not right, and make it clear that unless they stop nagging you every minute, you won’t do a damn thing. Make them realize that they can’t dictate everything, otherwise your marriage will go down the drain.
2. You sense a certain degree of helplessness in them.
Most of the time people who nag think that they are doing so because they want what’s best for their partner. They feel they know their spouse well enough to understand what mistakes they are making, and take upon themselves the responsibility of keeping them on the right path.
Even though the sentiment is noble, too much concern can sometimes take things in the wrong direction. Because babysitting and schooling you is never the right option. They might start off in a rational way, but when they see you not paying heed to their words, they feel helpless and start nagging you more. This sets off a vicious cycle that can threaten to destroy your relationship.
Assure your spouse that you are hearing what they are saying, and you just need a little bit of time to make the changes. Tell them that constantly nagging you is just going to put you off from listening to their advice.
3. Asking you to do something incessantly.
If your partner is requesting you to do something a couple of times, that’s normal. But if they are incessantly nagging you about the same thing over and over again, then that’s a red flag. After a point, it ceases to be helpful and enters the annoying territory. The moment they ask you to do something more than thrice, it stops being a request, and becomes nagging.
One of the best ways to put a stop to your spouse’s nagging is by directly asking them what the issue is. Sit down and talk about the problem, and try to come up with a convenient and understanding solution. Try not to be judgemental, and understand where they are coming from. Let your spouse know that constantly focusing on the negative things will never help your marriage in any way.