Attention Men: The Right Type Of Chivalry For The 3 Types Of Women You Date

 / 

,
the right type of chivalry

The definition of a gentleman is a kind of stereotype as it’s fundamental to what the man’s wealth and social position are. But a true gentlemen’s behavior and attitude lies in his chivalry. No matter how modern today’s world is, still, a chivalrous man always finds a way to charm a woman. Applied, he knows what is the right chivalry for different types of women.

Should you open the car door, or not? Pull out her chair, or let her do it? Should you hand her coat? Even help her on with it? Guys, does it seem like for every woman who complains that you’re not being a gentleman, there’s another one equally insulted by your chivalrous gestures?

Women seem confusing. But to find love, you must follow dating advice, and pass through a number of first, second, and third dates. And that’s where this whole gallantry stuff comes into play.

How Much Chivalry Is Enough?

What is the bare minimum to please a woman and the absolute maximum to not insult her? The answer is simple: it depends on the woman.

Now, now, don’t worry, this isn’t some vague theoretical mumbo-jumbo. Take a deep breath because I’m going to happily break this down for you to make your dating experience effortless and painless.

First and foremost, you need to figure out what kind of woman this lady is whom you’re dating.
Second, before you hastily lump these women into some unflattering stereotypes, please understand that behind each stereotype is a human being (not unlike yourself) who has a very good reason for her preferences and tolerances, and attractions. Once you understand her motivation, you have the key to winning her heart.

Related: 12 Ways to Make a Woman Feel Loved

Chivalry For Each Woman

Despite people telling you that chivalry is dead, here’s how to dial up (or dial down) chivalry to make each woman you date feel special. (That is the point of chivalry after all, right?)

1. “The Princess”

This is the woman who expects chivalry. To you, she seems like an entitled spoiled brat sometimes, but really she’s just a woman with standards.

She grew up as “Daddy’s Little Girl” believing in Prince Charming and she dreams of a man who’ll treat her like a valued lady. Her parents raised her to measure a man by the way he treats her, so the kinder and more chivalrous you are, the more appealing you seem to her.

She does long for a knight in shining armor, so if that’s not your aim, don’t date her. But if being a woman’s hero is your thing, she’ll give you endless opportunities. Therefore, if you’re dating this type of woman, pick up a book on chivalry and read it cover-to-cover. Twice.

Don’t overlook one single detail of that book. If you want to light up her heart, do every single thing that book recommends: from pouring her coffee to hailing her a cab and carrying her dog.

If you wish to pursue a true relationship with “The Princess,” the one thing you want to withhold is excessive compliments about her appearance. She expects it (because it’s the pickup line every lame guy she’s ever known defaults to), and if you go on and on about her overwhelming hotness, you’ll come off as just another admirer.

On the other hand, if you engage her in a real conversation while treating her like royalty (i.e., ask her about her hobbies, books she’s read, her favorite place to travel), you’ll pleasantly discover that underneath the princess exterior hides a real and genuinely warm, kind person, who wishes the world would, both, treat her well and take her seriously.

If you’re the man to do so, she will treat you like the king of her world and be the quintessential ever-feminine lady for you.

2. “The Feminist”

This is the woman who is put off by chivalry (or so it seems). Many men may find her an intimidating, defensive, chip-on-her-shoulder, bra-burning, Gloria Steinem follower.

But the modern feminist is actually just a woman who’s worked hard for everything she’s ever had and simply wants the credit and respect she deserves for the effort. Whether she was raised in the heyday of women’s lib or is part of the millennial generation (who believes in gender equality by default), she’s likely vowed to never depend on a man.

She can stand on her own two feet and that’s a good thing. She only interprets acts of chivalry as negative and condescending when those gestures are served up in a way that implies she’s helpless or as some strategy to “get something” out of her.

She considers herself your equal and dreams of a man who thinks the same of her. She actually will thank you for holding the door for her, but not because she appreciates chivalry, but because she thinks it’s the right thing to do as a civilized human being. She will most likely do the same for you (make sure to thank her when she does).

This woman is not out to get you or trying to “emasculate” you. It’s just best to let her ask for help (or first offer it) instead of imposing it on her. She appreciates chivalrous gestures that don’t trivialize her voice or take away her status as your equal partner.

So when the dinner check comes, don’t argue if she offers to pay. Instead, smile and tell her you really appreciate her offering, but that your intent is to make her feel comfortable and do something nice for her. Offer to let her pay next time if she lets you pay this once.

She is not trying to make your life hard. She is just trying to protect herself from possible heartache. She can be vulnerable, but she is not about to reveal that on the first (or second) date. She needs to trust you in order to let her guard down.

If you wish to feel like a gentleman with “The Feminist,” be her friend first. And remember: a real man is not afraid to let the woman take the lead.

Related: It Takes A Real Man To Date A Woman With A Strong Individuality

3. “The Mixed Messages Woman”

This is the woman who falls somewhere in between “The Princess” and “The Feminist.” As such, they confuse you (read: frustrate you) the most because their preferences vary.

These are women who like (even love!) being treated “like a woman,” but are often afraid of appearing needy or selfish if they allow themselves to rely on a man’s chivalry too much. The concept of a knight in shining armor is not unappealing to them. However, they know better than to “expect” one.

They are smart enough to know their own worth, yet are polite enough not to impose it on you because they recognize your worth, as well. With this particular woman, you need a gradual approach. Start with the basics: pull out her chair, hail her cab, open the door. You can never go wrong with those. Paying for dinner? Absolutely.

However, acknowledge her offer to contribute with appreciation and not disdain. While she appreciates chivalry, she abhors arrogance. Stick with small gestures, like holding her coat or pouring her wine, until you’ve gained her respect and she reveals whether she wants more.

While the “Mixed Messages Woman” seems confusing, she’s truly not. It’s just that your comfort and feeling appreciated are as important to her as you making her feel special.

What if you aren’t sure which kind of woman she is? When in doubt (or if you feel you’ve compromised the otherwise great date with a chivalrous gesture not favorably received), honesty is your best policy.

It’s perfectly fine to admit to your date that while you had the best intentions in mind, you just weren’t sure of the right gestures to make. Most women will forgive an innocent mistake and appreciate your effort.


Written By Marina Margulis
Originally Appeared On Your Tango
The Right Type Of Chivalry For 3 Very Different Type Of Women
the right type of chivalry pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

The Dreaded ‘What Are We’ Question: 7 Tips For Having ‘The Talk’ Successfully

"What Are We?" Best Tips To Have The Talk Successfully

The “what are we?” talk can be terrifying, even for the most experienced daters. But do not fret because armed with some strategic advice and a lot of bravery, you can make it through this conversation with your head held high.

If you have ever been stuck in a non-committal relationship much more than casual though not legitimately committed, you need to place the what are we question. It will allow you to find answers for yourself in the notoriously undefined modern dating gray area.

Below are some tips t



Up Next

Beware Of ‘Cushioning’! This Sneaky Dating Trend Could Be Sabotaging Your Relationship

Toxic Signs of The Cushioning Dating Term: Beware!

Relationships in today’s society can often be like walking through a minefield of colloquialisms and behaviors. One such term is the “cushioning dating”, it may sound harmless, but the implications it carries are anything but cozy.

Cushioning involves entertaining potential romantic partners outside of one’s committed relationship; it is rooted in fear, insecurity, and avoidance, frequently resulting in emotional infidelity.

What Is Cushioning Dating Trend?



Up Next

10 Signs You Are A Rebound And Nothing More

Signs You Are A Rebound And Nothing More

The dating world can sometimes feel like you are on a wild roller coaster ride of emotions, full of exhilarating highs and heart breaking lows. And you might find yourself unknowingly become someone’s rebound. But how do you gauge that? What are the signs you are a rebound, and nothing more?

Being someone’s rebound means being an emotional pit stop for them; it’s like they are taking a short break where they are seeking temporary solace before moving on for good. It’s not a good place to be in, honestly.

Today, we are talking to talk about all those glaring signs you are a rebound, so that it’s easier for you to decide if you want to remain one, or let go and wait for someone who gives you the love and respect you deserve.



Up Next

Is Your Partner ‘Hesidating’? 4 Signs They’re Unsure About You

Hesidating: Clear Signs Your Partner Is Unsure About You

Are you ready to explore the world of hesidating? It’s when commitment phobia meets modern romance. Dating can be like walking on a tightrope without a safety net. With so much uncertainty, it’s no wonder people hesitate to get into something they can’t control.

Hesidating is running rampant in the world of singles right now. It’s more dangerous than it sounds to date ambivalently; when you’re intentionally dating and match with someone who’s hesidating, you risk getting hurt because you’re not on the same page about what you ultimately want.

What Is Hesidating?



Up Next

What Is Wanderlove Dating Trend: 5 Reasons Your Summer Romance Needs It

Wanderlove Dating: Great Benefits Of This Trend

Love is not restrained by time or space in today’s world. This dating trend can be related to wanderlust, it is called wanderlove and it has taken over the world.

Bumble came up with this name which combines love with travel desire that attracts people who are adventurous and want to connect.

What Is Wander Love Really?

Wanderlove may just be what you’re looking for if you’ve ever wanted to explore different parts of the globe while finding your soulmate.

It centers around accepting long distance relationships where one partner could be on the other side of the countr



Up Next

Kittenfishing Alert! 4 Telltale Signs You’re Being Deceived in Dating

What Is Kittenfishing? Clear Signs You're Being Kittenfished

There is an online trend known as “kittenfishing” which is a lot like catfishing; not as extreme, but still slightly misleading. Are you (slightly) guilty of this?

What Is Kittenfishing?

Wondering what is kittenfishing? It’s a play on words that describes the act of misleading someone in online dating by pretending to be different than one really is.

Instead of pretending to be a completely different person, kittenfishers modify their profiles with little white lies. You know, like using that one photo from three years ago when you looked a tad more glamorous, or fibbing about your age by a ye



Up Next

Taylor Swift’s ‘Tortured Poets Department’ Is A Wake-Up Call For All Those In Situationships

Tortured Poets Department And Situationships: Lessons To Learn

Taylor Swift’s most recent album, “The Tortured Poets Department,” explores current relationships and sheds light on what many call “situationships.” With powerful words and haunting tunes, she describes the emotional roller coaster that happens when love is mixed with confusion.

Situationships And The Tortured Poets Department Taylor Swift

On her eleventh studio album – which was met with both excitement and trepidation – Swift talks about her person