3 Little-Known Reasons Why Some Relationship Self-Help Books Fail

/

3 Little-Known Reasons Why Some Relationship Self-Help Books Fail

Reasons Why Some Relationship Self-Help Books Fail

I’m sure you’ve heard people say “this diet didn’t work” or “that diet didn’t work” etc …and then they give up and stop trying any more diets because they’ve had no luck with them. Have you ever wondered why these diets didn’t work for them? Read on because the answer is critical if you want to know how to make someone fall in love with you (or keep them in love if you’re already in a relationship).

The reality is that pretty much every diet works if it is followed correctly. The weak point is not in the diet itself, but rather in the person using the diet. If the person doesn’t have the drive, ambition or motivation to follow the diets guidelines but is simply looking for a “quick fix”, then no diet is going to work for them.

The same analogy goes with relationship self-help books. The advice in most relationship self-help books (at least those written by trained professionals) contains advice that does work. Yes, they can and do solve problems in relationships …and often quite well. The weak point is the person reading and trying to follow what’s written in it.

In this article I want to go through 5 ways how the person reading the self-help book is more often than not the cause of that book not working for them …rather than the book itself being the problem.

3 Reasons Relationship Self-Help Books Might Not Work For You

1. Preference For Distractions:

When people are suffering any type of emotional pain, whether its relationship pain or not, there is a tendency to want to look for ways of avoiding that emotional pain …rather than dealing with it. They are subconsciously drawn to distractions such as work, friends, alcohol, other potential partners, even drugs, etc. So while a person might have good intentions when they get a relationship self-help book, very often the subconscious preference for distractions pulls the person away and the book gets put in the bin.

Read The Pain and Joy of Letting Go of Your Almost Relationship

2. Lack Of Courage:

To face problems in life, especially relationship ones which can be quiet serious and difficult to deal with, you need courage. Most people don’t have this courage, however. This is most often seen on the dating seen when you want to make someone like you …but don’t have the courage to approach them. Relationship books will inevitably require some type of outwardly action in order to achieve the desired results. If you don’t have the courage to carry out those actions, then the words on the page remain simply words on the page. If a relationship self-help book tells you to try something, you should try and have the courage to at least TRY that action …whether you think you can successfully achieve that action or not. Very often you will learn something important from even a failed attempt at an important action.

3. Not Suitable For Everyone:

While most people like Facebook, the reality is that a lot of other people despise it. They find it too intrusive on their personal life, they don’t like the way people put up a fake image of what their life is like and so on and so forth, etc. The same goes for any relationship self-help book. Even if 80% of people like a certain relationship book that means 20% don’t like it. So even if a particular relationship book you get is liked by lots of people, it may be that that one is not suitable for you …but instead, you might find a different one more helpful. The only problem is if you have a bad experience with your first relationship book, you might not be too keen to buy another one.

Other Reasons Relationship Books Fail

Other reasons why relationship self-help books fail include:

  • The problem is with the other person in the relationship and not you
  • The relationship was too damaged before you sought help
  • The author wasn’t qualified and so the advice was bad

These reasons however are outside your control. And that’s ok. The 3 reasons covered in this article are things you can actively work on the next time you get a relationship self-help book. By ridding yourself of these 3 reasons why relationship self-help books fail …you can at least increase your chances at coming closer to the desired result you are looking for in your relationship.

Read 5 Key Behaviors That Help Build A Healthy Relationship After Infidelity

Yours Appreciatively,

3 Little-Known Reasons Why Some Relationship Self-Help Books Fail
3 Little-Known Reasons Why Some Relationship Self-Help Books Fail

John Alex Clark – Relationship & Life Coach

For more information on relationship advice, check out John Alex Clarks website “RelationshipPsychology.com”.

One response to “3 Little-Known Reasons Why Some Relationship Self-Help Books Fail”

  1. Epic Avatar

    @Diane0127 I think the main reason is the lack of this unbreakable yolk connection. when you feel warmth in your chest

  • Workplace Bullying: How To Deal With Bullies At Work
  • Lack Of Individuation: From Codependent Chameleon To True Self
  • The Rise in Armchair Psychologists on Social Media
  • 30+ Inspiring Quotes About Forgiveness To Let Go Of The Painful Past
Up Next

5 Reasons You Are Feeling Unstable After Your Husband Walked Out

Feel Unstable After Husband Walked Out Marriage

It's incredibly painful to find out that the person you planned to spend your life with has decided to walk away. If you feel unstable after your husband walked out on marriage, here are the reasons why and how you should deal with it.

If you are feeling unstable after your husband walked out on you, know that you are not alone! Having someone you love leave you suddenly would rock even the strongest woman’s world.

The end of any relationship is horrible, especially a marriage where finances and children are often involved. And, when a husband walks out, the woman is usually left in the house, with the kids, trying to figure out how to keep life normal while she and her husband figure out next steps.

Up Next

5 Things To Consider Before Marriage If You’re Having Doubts

Things To Consider Before Marriage If You're Having Doubts

When we think about settling down, sometimes, we rush our decisions and don't think about the worst possible outcomes. Here are things to consider before marriage if you are confused.

Having doubts about getting married is common, so don't hold yourself back to consider asking real questions before you tie the knot,

Good for you for looking for things to consider if you are getting married but unsure.

Getting married is easy but staying married is harder and very few people consider this fact before they get married. They are picturing the wedding and the honeymoon and the babies but not what it would truly look like to be married to their person forever.

And, in order to stay married, it’s important to take a good look at those things that are making

Up Next

Why Being Unfaithful to Your Spouse is Being Unfaithful to Your Family

Unfaithful to Spouse Being Unfaithful to Family

Cheating in marriage, also known as infidelity, is the act of being unfaithful to your spouse and failing to uphold your commitment to each other.

Are you being unfaithful to your spouse? Have you crossed a line that you never thought that you would cross and having an affair?

Are you feeling incredibly guilty, knowing that you shouldn’t be doing what you are doing, even though it feels so great in the moment?

Are you devastated that you might hurt your spouse, the parent of your children? I totally get that. No one wants to hurt the person they vowed to love forever or betray what they believe in.

Unfortunately, when a parent has an affair, it is not only the marriage that gets damaged but also the family unit. I know that you don’t think that this

Up Next

Is Your Marriage Doomed After an Affair?

Is Your Marriage Doomed After an Affair

Can a marriage after an affair survive in the long run? Can you save a marriage after an affair or is there any chance of fixing a marriage after an affair? People who have been cheated on have often found themselves asking these questions.

Courtney came to my office after her husband had an affair. She wanted counseling to help her decide whether to forgive or divorce him. She was concerned about her three young children and worried about being able to support herself financially. She’d loved being a stay-at-home mom, and didn’t want to give up time with her children.

She’d heard from a friend that she would be forced to go back to work. Courtney was open to doing some intensive couples therapy to see if the infidelity wounds could be healed, but she wasn’t sure her husband would be willing.

Falling in love and getting married to the person you love, sounds like a dream come true, isn't it? But there is one nightmare that can make that dream a scary one - your mother in law. Although she may not intend to do it, but mother-in-law problems can actually damage your marriage.

When I got engaged, I remember so well when a friend of mine told me that there are many ways that your mother in law can damage your marriage– even if she doesn’t want to. I remember thinking ‘Yeah, sure, but that won’t happen to us.’ Boy, was I wrong.

Mother in laws are not inherently evil and has developed a bad rep. But I know that my mother in law did play a role in the health of my marriage and I wish I had known then what I know now!

Here are 5 ways your mother-in-law can 
READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲