Reasons Why Some Relationship Self-Help Books Fail
I’m sure you’ve heard people say “this diet didn’t work” or “that diet didn’t work” etc …and then they give up and stop trying any more diets because they’ve had no luck with them. Have you ever wondered why these diets didn’t work for them? Read on because the answer is critical if you want to know how to make someone fall in love with you (or keep them in love if you’re already in a relationship).
The reality is that pretty much every diet works if it is followed correctly. The weak point is not in the diet itself, but rather in the person using the diet. If the person doesn’t have the drive, ambition or motivation to follow the diets guidelines but is simply looking for a “quick fix”, then no diet is going to work for them.
The same analogy goes with relationship self-help books. The advice in most relationship self-help books (at least those written by trained professionals) contains advice that does work. Yes, they can and do solve problems in relationships …and often quite well. The weak point is the person reading and trying to follow what’s written in it.
In this article I want to go through 5 ways how the person reading the self-help book is more often than not the cause of that book not working for them …rather than the book itself being the problem.
3 Reasons Relationship Self-Help Books Might Not Work For You
1. Preference For Distractions:
When people are suffering any type of emotional pain, whether its relationship pain or not, there is a tendency to want to look for ways of avoiding that emotional pain …rather than dealing with it. They are subconsciously drawn to distractions such as work, friends, alcohol, other potential partners, even drugs, etc. So while a person might have good intentions when they get a relationship self-help book, very often the subconscious preference for distractions pulls the person away and the book gets put in the bin.
2. Lack Of Courage:
To face problems in life, especially relationship ones which can be quiet serious and difficult to deal with, you need courage. Most people don’t have this courage, however. This is most often seen on the dating seen when you want to make someone like you …but don’t have the courage to approach them. Relationship books will inevitably require some type of outwardly action in order to achieve the desired results. If you don’t have the courage to carry out those actions, then the words on the page remain simply words on the page. If a relationship self-help book tells you to try something, you should try and have the courage to at least TRY that action …whether you think you can successfully achieve that action or not. Very often you will learn something important from even a failed attempt at an important action.
3. Not Suitable For Everyone:
While most people like Facebook, the reality is that a lot of other people despise it. They find it too intrusive on their personal life, they don’t like the way people put up a fake image of what their life is like and so on and so forth, etc. The same goes for any relationship self-help book. Even if 80% of people like a certain relationship book that means 20% don’t like it. So even if a particular relationship book you get is liked by lots of people, it may be that that one is not suitable for you …but instead, you might find a different one more helpful. The only problem is if you have a bad experience with your first relationship book, you might not be too keen to buy another one.
Other Reasons Relationship Books Fail
Other reasons why relationship self-help books fail include:
- The problem is with the other person in the relationship and not you
- The relationship was too damaged before you sought help
- The author wasn’t qualified and so the advice was bad
These reasons however are outside your control. And that’s ok. The 3 reasons covered in this article are things you can actively work on the next time you get a relationship self-help book. By ridding yourself of these 3 reasons why relationship self-help books fail …you can at least increase your chances at coming closer to the desired result you are looking for in your relationship.
John Alex Clark – Relationship & Life Coach
For more information on relationship advice, check out John Alex Clarks website “RelationshipPsychology.com”.