Why You Attract Emotionally Unavailable Men: 6 Dating Mistakes

Why You Attract Emotionally Unavailable Men

Every man you come across seems to disappoint you, and every time you open up your heart, you end up getting hurt. All you want is someone who will love you the way you love them, so why is it that you end up with a broken heart every time you say to yourself “This time it’s going to work. He’s not like the other men I’ve dated.”?

If you’re someone who always ends up falling for emotionally unavailable men, then maybe you need to look deep within yourself and try to understand why this keeps on happening. Being with an emotionally unavailable man can be a heartbreaking thing to experience; emotional distance is not something that anybody would want in a relationship. 

You might be unintentionally and unknowingly making some dating mistakes that are drawing in emotionally unavailable men to you. But the good news is that, once you realize what it is you’re doing, you’ll be able to work on it and make sure that you finally have a man in your life who doesn’t shy away from opening up his heart to you. 

6 Reasons Why You Attract Emotionally Unavailable Men

1. You are okay with it when his words and actions don’t align with each other. 

He makes you feel like the most special person in the world and whenever you speak with him, you feel like you have hit the jackpot. For him, you’re amazing, lovely, and nothing short of perfect. Wasn’t this what you always wanted in a man? Someone who will make you feel like the most amazing person in this whole, wide world?

But the thing is, no matter how much he might flatter you by saying the right things, he never follows through with any of it. He will make grand plans with you, but will ‘never have the time’ to even meet you. He wants to go on a romantic dinner date with you but always bails at the last moment. If this keeps on happening over and over again, then it’s pretty clear that the man you are dating is emotionally unavailable. 

If he only talks the talk but never walks the walk, then, unfortunately, he is not interested in you nor is he keen on being in a serious relationship with you. It might also mean that he is keeping you as his side chick, for the times when he will need his ego to be stroked. 

Related: 10 Reasons Why Your Man Avoids Getting Emotionally Attached To You

2. You feel you can ‘change’ him into a ‘better’ man.

Whenever you have this thought, that you can ‘fix’ a man and transform him into who YOU need him to be, then take it as a sign that you’re with the wrong person. There are many women out there who believe that they can change emotionally unavailable men into men who are well…not emotionally unavailable, but this is where they go wrong. And if you’re one of them, then you’re in for a rude shock. 

Men who don’t want to change will never change, no matter how hard you try. An emotionally detached man who doesn’t want to engage with you emotionally, no amount of coaxing or fixing can make them do that. The only person who can make him more emotionally unavailable is the man himself. 

Deep down inside, if he doesn’t want to be emotionally open with you, and give you that important place in his life, no power in this world can change that. Unless he decides that he WANTS to change, there’s really nothing you can do, and the more you try, the more disappointed you will be.

emotionally unavailable
Being with an emotionally detached man
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Alexandra Hall

Hi there! I am someone who is trying to navigate through life, one day at a time. Writing is my passion and my job, and I am happiest when I am writing. I love reading comic books, watching drama movies, playing with my dogs and generally lazing around. An introvert by nature, you can find me in the farthest corner of the room in every party, playing with the dog and having my own party.View Author posts