How To Stay Calm When Everything Is Falling Apart – Mind Talk

How To Stay Calm When Everything Is Falling Apart

Sometimes life is like one long holiday. Everything just goes right, everybody is likable and your future looks bright and sunny. That is only sometimes. Other times life throws everything and your kitchen sink at you and you’re left dodging, running after the facts and trying to keep everything u in the air so that it doesn’t hit the ground in one big crash of crockery.

That’s what happened to me at the end of my bachelor years.

I’d been coasting along nicely at my university. I’d planned it out, so that I had about as much course work every semester as the other ones – except for the last one. I figured that by that time I would be good at this university thing and besides, if I finished the last semester there would be time to relax afterwards.

That’s when a little quirk in the bureaucracy got the best of me. I thought I’d done everything for my advanced statistics course. It turned out I hadn’t. And rather than having to only do the assignment that I hadn’t, I had to do the whole course again.

And seeing as I’d only passed the first time through the good graces of a good mate (he explained the numbers and in exchange I showed him the world beyond them) that was a big problem. It meant that suddenly my semester’s work went up by a whopping quarter!

It could have been the end of me. Instead, it turned into a new chapter in personal development.

Here’s how:

I took a step back

Okay, I didn’t just take a step. I ran like hell. Then I drank. A lot. Because why be responsible and get a head start on your problems when you can go out and get absolutely pissed instead? That only lasted a little while (okay, three weeks and the only reason I stopped was because my liver said ‘Either you quit or I do’).

It was after that that I started putting things in perspective, however and on one fine dawn on a rooftop and nursing the last good-vintage bottle of prosecco at a party that nobody else knew we still had, I realized that I could either panic, or I could be a rational adult. I’d tried the panicking thing. It wasn’t really getting me anywhere. What could it hurt to at least try this rationality thing?

A lot of people said good things about it.

I made a plan

The courses had kindly provided me with everything that I actually needed to do for the semester. So I sat down and worked it all out. I started with the end goal, then I made sub goals, then I worked it out week by week and day by day.

I realized that if I didn’t leave things like the last minute like I normally did, it was hard work – including weekends –but it was possible. And so I taped my schedule to the fridge muttered angrily at it, took another sip from my prosecco bottle and went home (that actually happened – I had been drinking for three weeks).

My friends, impressed with my decision to take action, got it back to me and then I took the next step.

I spoke with my people

I didn’t hide that I was in trouble. Instead, I told everybody and I told them about my plan as well. I told my parents. They kindly informed me that I was an idiot and yelled at me for a bit (oh, unconditional love. Isn’t it a beautiful thing?). Then they got on board.

Then spoke to my professors. Now if there’s anything that I really advise, it’s that you communicate more with teachers. They can be mightily understanding if you come to them at the beginning of the semester or days before the assignments are due and are often very willing to help you out, if you show that you’re eager and willing to do what it takes.

For example, the statistics professor let me know that though I did have to resit the exam (damn!) if I just tweaked the assignments I’d written for her a little bit, she was fine with that (bonus!).

I put my head down

And finally, rather than focusing on the mountain that I was about to climb, I concentrated on completing the next step. After all, I had my plan, I’d discussed it with a bunch of people who had all supplied valuable input. There was no longer any reason to look up. And so I looked down and focused on getting each of the sub goals.

I think that’s what ultimately saved me.

Because I categorically refused to pay attention to the whole mountain and just kept looking at the task in front of me, I didn’t have to deal with the anxiety, sink into despair or waste time beating my chest and lamenting how unfair it all was. Because those activities, I’ve come to realize, are real time wasters.

The result

I finished the semester, learned the value of hard work, actually got a pretty decent understanding of statistics and went absolutely mental afterwards. I partied like it was 1999 and the millennium bug was going to destroy the world.

And you know what? I never enjoyed a party more. Why? Because I deserved it. I wasn’t just a graduate. I was a guy who’d taken a mountain and beaten it. I was the king of the world. And sometimes it isn’t the act itself that matters, but the prism through which you see it.

And that summer, I saw through the rose-tinted prism of my own success.

— Share —

— About the Author —


Leave a Reply

— Follow Us —

Up Next

Forgiveness After The Storm

Forgiveness After The Storm

The muse of poetry in its depths stalls the ensue of thee,Drowning in the sparse spectacle of hope left, one dives into the waters of misery.Triabilsing in the painful stance of existence, death in its allure creeps behind,To be or not be in the bane of tormenting breaths, in their truth one seems to find,

The hostility that binds, convulsion in its gloating flair laughs hysterically at the corpse of being,Dreariness to live in its slow burn writhes the only ounce of light left to see.The void of embracing the freshness of unadulterated air forges to question the beauty,Of living a life that could lead in the lightness of radiance and the smiles of unbridled glee.

The trueness of being lapses in the oscillation of turbulence and the sea of calm,Yet the tides of uncertain syllables that breed animosity render the sou

Up Next

Beyond Materialism: The Psychological Motivations Behind Retail Therapy

Beyond Materialism

Most people can understand the happiness that comes from purchasing something for oneself when we talk about needing some retail therapy. Can shopping truly improve our mood? Clinical psychologist Scott Bea, PsyD, affirms that shopping can have psychological and therapeutic benefits as long as it is done in moderation, according to research. Engaging in shopping activities, whether online or in person, can provide a psychological and emotional boost. Even just browsing can bring happiness, but it’s important to be mindful of your spending habits. Dr. Bea outlines various explanations for the phenomenon.

Shopping helps to regain a feeling of power or authority

Research demonstrates that engaging in shopping activities can help individuals feel more in control of their

Up Next

Mind Over Met Gala: Analyzing the Intersection of Fashion and Mental Health in 2024

Mind Over Met Gala

The most confidential information about the 2024 Met Gala, which will take place on the first Monday in May, is now known. A total of 250 objects, many of which have never been seen in public before, will be on display in the Costume Institute’s “Sleeping Beauties: Reawakening Fashion” exhibition at The Metropolitan Museum of Art in 2024. Before the much-awaited event, Vogue is compiling all of the information we currently know.

What theme will the 2024 Met Gala have?

The official dress code for the 2024 Met Gala is “The Garden of Time,” in honour of the Costume Institute’s upcoming exhibition, “Sleeping Beauties: Reawakening Fashion.” About 250 rare objects from the Costume Institute’s permanent collection will be on display. The designs, which span more than 400 years of f

Up Next

The Aesthetic Epidemic: Understanding the Roots of Lookism

The Aesthetic Epidemic

We care about more than just ourselves – we care about our loved ones, our communities, and the world around us. We are affected by tragic events, especially when a child is murdered, regardless of where it happens. It deeply impacts us and makes us feel disheartened. Moral evils raise doubts about the goodness of the world and the value of existence, especially for those who believe in a benevolent deity. However, anyone can contemplate the purpose and value of the universe in light of such evils. We may not need to worry about the value of the Universe and instead focus on finding value in our own lives or the lives of our loved ones. The concept of value is subjective and can be created by us.

The important question is what we should value or find pleasure in. Some people may try to ignore moral evil by focusing only on their own lives and loved ones, but this narrow perspective is unsatisfying for most. I

Up Next

An Open Letter To The Hustlers

An Open Letter To The Hustlers

To be or not to be, to go all in or to unwind and relax, we question our dreams, running in constant chase of our quests to come true, we are the ones who never sleep. Dreamers we are called, the ones who passionately strive in the endeavours of the best they could ever be, here is a letter to me, a letter to you. In the stride of embracing the best you have ever been, nurture your soul before the onset of the abundance in you that lies unseen.

Too bold, too much for your age, you are doing too much, how often have you heard these notions been used to describe you? As we tirelessly strive to achieve the next goal we have in our mind, we are often told that we are being hard on ourselves, to enjoy life a little. Life in its entirety passes by us in its dynamic flair, and the existence we envisage holds unique individuality to each one of us. The choices one makes for themselves belies them and them only, and t

Up Next

How To Remain Centered And Calm In Face Of Difficulty

How To Stay Calm When Everything Is Falling Apart

My life is a mess and I have nothing to be grateful about! I witness myself say this phrase from time to time, where life plonks us into the desperation of ebb and flow of wilderness and things not going in our favour.

It is easy to say we are grateful and in complete balance when things are going well and life feels like the warm embrace of the sun shining on a Sunday morning. But the real test lies in remaining grateful and centred when life feels like spinning out of control.

While it is easier said than done, here are some reminders that might help you get through the days that feel like a burden –

1) This too shall pass, no moment in time that feels permanent loses its impermanence. We often lose hope when things don’t go our way and during these sad days, we should remember, that t

Up Next

15 Most Liberating Thoughts For Someone Who Needs It

How To Stay Calm When Everything Is Falling Apart

Our life unfolds in a succession of revelations of who we are. It is when we sit down and repeat the same sentence in our head over and over again, in every action we perform, every activity we indulge ourselves in, does it indulges into our existence as a habit.

The key to having a sense of liberation is allowing life to flow through, not forcing anything and more essentially not resisting change. I believe that our life improves in the direct proportionality of how often we are exposed to situations where are forced to challenge our age-old beliefs and counterfeited perceptions and seek the greater version of ourselves. When we get too comfortable in the comfort zones we build for ourselves, we do not grow into the people we are meant to be. Sadly most people embrace change only when metamorphosis is the less painful and only possible option.

I know that