Many men shy away from friendship with women because they are scared of being in the ‘friend zone’ and never having more than that with a woman they have feelings for. But it is important to realize that many relationships are built off of friendships. That is what keeps two people together in the long term. She needs to know she can count on you, that you will be there, that you are the real deal.
You can have a friendship without a relationship, but you can’t have a relationship without a friendship.
5. You are inconsistent.
Another one of the most common questions I get from women about men is: Why are men so hot and cold? Men can be talking about commitment and a relationship one day, and then completely disappear the next. What gives?
I understand that as men in the social media era we have options. We can easily X out a conversation and start a new one while easily forgetting about the last one. It is an unfortunate side effect of the out of sight, out of mind mentality that comes along with constant information overload. But one thing has not changed: The fact that you are talking to real human beings with real feelings and emotions.
If you are interested in her, tell her. If you are not interested in her, tell her. A gentleman will never allow a woman to fall if he does not intend on catching her.
6. You focus too much on her looks.
This one is pretty interesting because it may be counter-intuitive to a lot of men reading this. But, that is only because most guys try to get a woman’s attention by complimenting her beauty, and put no effort into learning about her character.
Early on in my relationship, I found myself not complimenting my girlfriend on her looks very often. I wanted to tell her that she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, I wanted to tell her that she looks just as beautiful in sweatpants as she does in a dress. I wanted to dig up every adjective I could think of that could be used to describe someone’s appearance — but, I didn’t.
Why? Because I didn’t want her to think that’s why I wanted to be with her. Yes, she is beautiful and sexy and all of those things, but she is so much more than that. I actually told her once that I didn’t want her to think I only wanted her for her looks, and she told me that if I’d spent too much time complimenting her beauty, that’s exactly what she would have thought.
The woman in your life will have much more appreciation for you taking the time to notice her character, compassion, thoughtfulness, and kindheartedness — far more than you telling her how great her butt looks in those jeans. Even if it does.
7. Too much, too soon.
Yes, men can be clingy too. Particularly when we find a woman who really catches our attention, sometimes the excitement can be a little overwhelming and we may come on stronger than we intend to.
This, particularly for a more independent type of woman, can be kryptonite and push her away immediately.
Take a step back, a deep breath, tell her what a great time you had on your date, and do your best to fight the urge to text her every 5 minutes. Don’t be worried about coming across as uninterested, you will actually likely be helping yourself rather than hurting yourself.