How To Not Get Attached To Someone In An Almost Relationship

How To Not Get Attached To Someone

“My heart wasn’t supposed to break from an almost lover. But it did. And god, it hurt like hell.” – Katrien Pauwels
An almost relationship will always feel like you are halfway there. Such a relationship is like juggling with your emotions  – you feel like you are neither totally in nor completely out. At some point in time, you might even catch feelings yet you know you are not supposed to. How half-hearted is that do you think? 

An almost relationship is a tight-rope walk. Striking the ideal balance between indifference and consideration is not as easy as it looks. 

Nevertheless, almost all relationships are fun. There are no strings attached, no responsibilities to take, no broken expectations, no commitment. You both are rocking the party, chatting over the phone, having fun, traveling together, going to dinner dates, and all these topped with great sex. You both are not stopping at anything. This sums up to all the sunshine of a relationship sans the rain and thunder.

And the flipside? There is not one that I can think of. 

But wait, What if you fall in love? What if you realize you are the only one who unknowingly got serious about the relationship?  What if confronting the other person, makes him/her leave you?

If you are considering having fun and being carefree about your relationship, these 6 rules will help you not get attached.

Related: When Almost Relationships Disguise Themselves As ‘Just Friends’

6 Tips To Not Get Attached To Someone In An Almost Relationship

Rule #1 Set your relationship boundaries well.

At the very beginning of the relationship, you must make it clear to each other how you want everything to materialize. Whether the issue is big or small you must clearly communicate to your partner about what your limits are and what consequences await once the limits are crossed.

Relationship boundaries may seem unnecessary, especially when you are aiming at a short-lived, temporary connection. 

To start with, let your partner know what’s in your mind, what your value system is, who you are like, what pushes your buttons, what makes you click, what you detest, what your needs and desires are. On the same page, consider understanding the needs of your partner and reach a middle ground. Set rules and limits, keeping both of your satiation points in mind. 

A fused sense of entity is not healthy for any kind of relationship. A lack of healthy boundaries in your relationship takes away the sense of self-esteem, self-control, and independence. 

Rule #2 Learn to say “NO”.

What keeps us from saying “no” to questions we desperately want to answer “no” to, is the fear of being disapproved. 

Make sure you do not comply with your partner’s needs, which goes beyond your boundaries. Saying “No” to things you believe is beyond your capacity to commit to, is a wise decision. It is better than taking responsibility and failing to accomplish it. 

Learning to say “no” means you are sticking to your boundaries in the relationship rather than making it permeable to unnecessary changes. 

Related: The Pain and Joy of Letting Go of An Almost Relationship

Rule #3 Regulate your expectations.

What exactly do you expect from this almost there a relationship?

If you are not aiming to commit to each other, you should not even behave like you are intimately committed to the relationship. If you have decided upon your boundaries well, you should strictly stick to them. If you are allowed to flirt with other people, go on dates with them, or kiss other people. 

If you both have decided to be okay with it, then you should not be jealous of it when this happens on the other side. State clearly in a conversation about what you expect from the relationship. One cannot swing between being serious and fun from moment to moment. This will only distract your intention. 


Rule #4 Tell yourself the bitter truth.

When you already know the truth, that this relationship is all about fun and not about being committed and dedicated to each other, learn to swallow the hard pill. The more you deny the truth, wanting to avoid it as far as possible you are denying your own mental clarity.

Are you settling for being in this arrangement of almost relationship to satisfy the need of your partner? Or do you genuinely want this almost relationship? Are you secretly in love with the other person, but pretending to not care? 

Telling yourself a lie will only break you apart later in the relationship. Ask yourself what your needs are. Are you settling for something lesser than you wish for or deserve?

Rule #5 Keep your self-respect intact.

Just because you are in an almost relationship, doesn’t mean you sacrifice your self-respect, your independence, or your needs. If you feel anything else than what you deserve to feel, always feel free to walk away. 

There is no need to compromise your feelings, sabotage your self-esteem, or tolerate unhealthy treatment from the other person, merely on the pretext of the relationship. 

Do not allow a temporary person to make permanent damage to your self-confidence and self-esteem. Settle for the one that deserves you, respects you, values you, and is aiming for a long-term relationship with you. 

What will you be left with, if the other person leaves you on the basis of nothing at all? Self-respect is the answer.

Related: 10 Lessons You Learn From an Almost Relationship

Rule #6 Do not engage in typical “relationship activities”.

If you have planned it to be temporary and non-committal, do not engage in activities that typically committed people do. Trust me, it’s worse than playing with fire. One day these fun fantasies of making a family with the other person will be your worst nightmare. 

Avoid daydreaming about a future with your partner, fantasizing about having children with them, living in with them, giving them expensive gifts, and emotionally investing in them. Know what your values are and take decisions accordingly. 

One simple thing to remember when not trying to get into a messy situation with your partner in a casual relationship is: if you are planning to get attached, never ever get into a casual relationship. 

There are lots of people out there looking for authentic, emotional intimacy with someone. If you believe that a casual relationship is not your cup of tea, never engage in one just for its advantages. In such a case, the degree to which an almost relationship can psychologically damage you is beyond comprehension. If you are not prepared for the loss, it’s wise to never involve in one.

How To Not Get Attached To Someone In An Almost Relationship:

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Why You’re Attracted To Certain People? Exploring the Science of Human Chemistry

Why You're Attracted To Certain People: Types Of Attraction

Attraction is a complex aspect of human relationships that plays an important role in shaping our romantic endeavors. Understanding why you’re attracted to certain people can offer valuable insights into your personality, experiences, and emotional needs.

Whether drawn to intelligence, kindness, or shared interests, your attractions are windows into your desires and aspirations.

From the subtle nuances to the unmistakable preferences, the different types of attraction weaves a story that reflects the threads of your inner self.

Up Next

Disorganized Attachment In Relationships: 10 Signs To Look Out For

Signs Of Disorganized Attachment In Relationships

Relationships can be complex and sometimes leave us feeling confused and emotionally overwhelmed. Have you ever experienced a rollercoaster of mixed signals and conflicting emotions with your partner? Do you find yourself wanting closeness one moment and pushing them away the next? If these questions resonate with you, you may be dealing with disorganized attachment in relationships.

In this article, we will explore disorganized attachment style, what causes disorganized attachment, signs, and impact on relationships. By understanding disorganized attachment style, you can begin to unravel the complexities that hinder your ability to form secure and harmonious connections.

Up Next

Unpacking Parentification Trauma: The Burden of Growing Up Too Soon

What Is Parentification Trauma? Seven Types, Effects and Healing

The excitement of childhood is beautiful, when your biggest worry was whether your favorite cartoon was on TV. Some kids don’t have a childhood as carefree. Parentification trauma becomes a real issue when a child is thrust into the shoes of a grown-up.

The child takes on responsibilities beyond their years. It’s like playing a role in a movie you didn’t audition for. This is the reality for those who’ve experienced the issue – a lesser-known yet impactful challenge that shapes lives in unexpected ways.

What is Parentification Trauma?

It might be your question, though–what is parentification trauma? The trauma occurs when a child is placed in a role that reverses their expected position within the family dynamic.

Up Next

Healing Attachment Wounds: 6 Strategies For Overcoming Insecure Anxious Attachment In Adults

Anxious Attachment In Adults: Six Ways To Overcome And Heal

Anxious attachment in adults is a result of negative attachment between parents and children, in childhood. This post is going to delve deep into the insecure anxious attachment style, how insecure anxious attachment in adults work, and how to overcome anxious attachment.

A childhood characterized by healthy, supportive parenting – in other words, secure attachment – is the foundation for calm and confident adulthood.

What Causes Anxious Attachment In Adults?

If you suffer from chronic anxiety you already know it’s a negative and und

Up Next

What Is An Inter-Intimate Relationship? 5 Signs To Know If You Are In One

What Is An Inter-Intimate Relationship? Five Signs

There are countless ways we express love, and we all have different needs for emotional and physical intimacy. Some couples struggle with mismatched desire, while others might find themselves in what they call “inter-intimate relationships”.

Do you find yourself in this situation? If yes, don’t worry; you’re not alone! Let’s explore how to find a balance and make it work together.

What Is An Inter-Intimate Relationship?

Up Next

Need More Affection In A Relationship? 10 Signs You Or Your Partner May Be Suffering From Touch Starvation

Ten Clear Signs Of Touch Starvation In A Relationship

From warm hugs to gentle handshakes, touch has the incredible power to connect us and make us feel alive. But what happens when we don’t get enough of it? That’s where touch starvation, also known as affection deprivation or skin hunger, comes into play.

It might sound surprising, but touch starvation is a real thing, and it can have a significant impact on our overall wel

Up Next

The 7 Most Common Insecurities in Relationships That Slowly Ruin Them

Seven Most Common Insecurities That Can Ruin Relationships

Do you think you’re the only one who feels insecure about your relationships? Think again, because the 7 most common insecurities can plague any relationship!

Insecurities are an inherent part of being human, and they can often seep into our relationships, acting as barriers to intimacy and connection.

These insecurities can take on various forms, affecting the dynamics between partners and the overall health of the relationship.

In this article, we delve into the 7 most common insecurities that couples often encounter, offering deep insights into their origins, impacts, and potential solutions.

Human beings are complex creatures with a wide range of emot