Successful Relationships Follow These 8 Rules, As Per Experts Who Studied Couples For 50 Years

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Successful Relationships Follow These 8 Rules As Per Experts

Experts are saying that the most successful relationships tend to be successful because of the 8 rules that happy couples follow. So, what are these rules and how do they ensure that your relationship not just survives in the long run, but survives happily?

As reported by CNBC, over the course of five decades, two distinguished experts, one, a  psychologist, and the other, a sexologist have dedicated their careers to studying the secrets behind successful relationships. Contrary to popular belief, they discovered that happy couples do not argue less; instead, they argue more effectively.

Armed with this insight, they propose a transformative approach to conflict resolution by suggesting a temporary truce and implementing a plan for better communication.

So what are these successful relationship rules? Read on to know more!

Related: The Love Manifesto: 10 Fundamental Rules of Love

Successful Relationships Follow These 8 Rules, As Per Experts

1. We will never mistake honesty for cruelty. 

Successful couples embrace honesty while remaining sensitive to their partner’s feelings. They strive to express their thoughts and emotions openly without resorting to cruelty or harsh words.

2. We will not engage in any sort of abuse, name-calling, and shaming of each other. 

In the heat of an argument, it can be tempting to unleash hurtful words upon your partner. However, the most successful relationships recognize the destructive power of name-calling and shaming. Instead, couples prioritize respect and refrain from resorting to personal attacks.

Successful relationships rules

3. We will always try to resolve the issue so that both of us can move forward. 

Rather than allowing conflicts to escalate or linger unresolved, successful couples approach disagreements with a shared objective: to find a resolution that allows them to move forward together.

4. We will not try to run away from the conversation or issue, but taking a short time-out can sometimes be useful. 

Recognizing the need for emotional regulation, successful couples understand that it’s acceptable to request a short break during intense discussions. This break, typically around 20 minutes, provides an opportunity to gather thoughts, calm emotions, and regain composure.

Couples return to the conversation with a renewed sense of clarity and are better equipped to communicate constructively.

Related: Relationship Advice From Over 1500 Happily Married Couples

5. We will firmly believe that both of us want to same thing, that is to connect and work on the issues, together. 

To create a harmonious atmosphere during disagreements, successful couples approach conflicts with the belief that both partners share the same fundamental desire: to connect and enhance their relationship.

This assumption establishes a collaborative mindset, allowing them to tackle the problem as a team rather than as adversaries.

6. We will always keep in mind that it’s “us against the problem”, and not “you vs me”. 

Rather than turning against each other, successful couples adopt a united front when confronting challenges. They understand that the problem is separate from their partner’s character and strive to work together to find solutions.

7. We will say “I feel…” instead of blaming each other and saying “You did this!” or “You did that!”. 

In order to prevent blame and accusations from escalating conflicts, successful couples utilize “I feel” statements to express their emotions and needs.

By framing their concerns in terms of personal experiences rather than pointing fingers, couples encourage empathy and understanding, fostering a more constructive dialogue.

8. We will express our positive needs to each other. 

Successful couples understand the importance of communicating their needs in a positive manner. By expressing desires for emotional closeness, connection, and understanding, partners can better articulate what they require from the relationship.

What Does This Research Prove?

In the realm of successful relationships and rules for successful relationships, effective communication lies at the heart of enduring love and happiness. The eight rules of engagement, derived from decades of psychological research, offer invaluable guidance for couples seeking to enhance their connections.

Related: Growing Stronger Together: 11 Clear Signs Your Relationship Is Getting Healthier

By fostering an environment of honesty, respect, and understanding, couples can navigate conflicts with compassion and strive towards mutually beneficial resolutions. Incorporating these rules into daily interactions empowers couples to nurture their bond in the long run. 


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