8 Things You Should Never Say To Someone Who Is Grieving

Grieving

When you’re asking someone this question, chances are they’re hearing something like, ‘I really, really hope you’re doing okay because I don’t really know what to do to make you feel better.” This leads to them bottling up their true feelings, and behaving as if they’re fine so as not to make you feel uncomfortable. 

Instead, ask them this – “It must be very hard for you right now. Please tell me how I can help.”. When you speak to them like this, it makes them feel confident enough to open up in front of you about how they are truly feeling. They don’t feel like a burden on you, rather they can count on you for support which makes it a bit easier for them to handle their grief. 

Related: Behind The Veil Of Grief

5. “Give it some time, because time heals everything.”

This is one of the worst and most insensitive things you can ever tell to a grieving person. When someone is grieving, all they can think about is the person they have lost forever. So telling them that time will make everything better, is not just minimizing and belittling their pain, it’s also giving off the message that healing from something like this is easy.

If you genuinely want to show your support to a grieving person, don’t make them feel like they need to rush their healing. Be there for them, and give them enough empathy and support so that they can feel what they want to feel, and grieve the way they want to grieve. 

6. “It’s okay, you can…”

If someone has lost their spouse, and if you’re suggesting that they can get remarried after some time (even if you have their best interests at heart), it will actually make them feel worse. You know why? Because to them, it sounds like you’re implying that the one they lost is replaceable, and the grief they are feeling is not that big of a deal. 

Instead of giving suggestions like this, focus on being an attentive listener, as they will appreciate this much more. When someone is grieving, thinking about the future, or thinking about having a future with someone else can be overwhelmingly painful. Help them deal with their grief by taking one step at a time, and assuring them that you’ll always be there for them.

7. “You have to be strong for your family.”

This one-liner is notoriously difficult to endure when someone is grieving, but unfortunately, most people don’t understand how horrible it feels to get this advice. When you tell someone to be strong for their family and keep their emotions in check, you’re giving them the message that their pain doesn’t matter as much as others. They should be strong for others at the cost of their own grief. This makes it difficult for them to heal, and can even prove to be a traumatic experience for them. 

Never make anyone feel as if they need to suppress their emotions, just because they have other people relying on them. Just like others, their feelings matter too and are equally valuable. If they don’t grieve and feel what they need to feel, they will never be okay and the loss and pain will haunt them for the rest of their lives. Being strong for your family doesn’t mean you need to sacrifice your own healing. 

Related: 10 Lessons We Can Learn From Grief

8. Never bothering to even talk to them. 

Despite knowing that someone close to you has lost a loved one and is grieving, and you still don’t reach out to them, then that’s insensitive and horrible on another level. Losing a loved one is a heart-wrenching experience, and if you don’t stand by them during such a tumultuous time, you will end up hurting them even more. 

Meet up with them and offer your condolences. Reminisce about the person who has passed away and share the wonderful memories both of you have with them. This will not just help them remember the departed soul fondly, but will also make them feel a little less alone and a lot more understood. 

Helping someone heal is one of the most powerful and best things you can do for them, but only as long as you do it right. When you are comforting a grieving person, avoid saying things like these, and try to make them feel loved, supported, and understood. Because sometimes, the best things you can do for someone are really that simple. 


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8 Things You Should Never Say To Someone Who Is Grieving
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Alexandra Hall

Hi there! I am someone who is trying to navigate through life, one day at a time. Writing is my passion and my job, and I am happiest when I am writing. I love reading comic books, watching drama movies, playing with my dogs and generally lazing around. An introvert by nature, you can find me in the farthest corner of the room in every party, playing with the dog and having my own party.View Author posts