But always come back to the essentials.
Hydrate, rest, nourish, move your body, connect. Repeat.
3. Life will rip you apart, and it will be a gift.
There is no such thing as a pain-free life.
Even if you live the most privileged, sheltered, safe, fortunate life… you will still experience massive pain.
People you know and love will die. You will have your heart broken, likely (and hopefully) many times. You will have health issues.
These things are unavoidable. Even if you could avoid them you wouldn’t want to. Because they are what makes life, life.
Just remember that life happens for you, not to you.
It won’t always be immediately apparent (in fact, it will almost never be immediately apparent) but the pain that shows up in your life shows up in order to help you grow.
People will disappoint you to teach you lessons. You will experience pain, trauma, and grief in order to be able to be more of a gift to others in their lives.
It all happens for you. I promise. If you don’t believe me yet, just wait. The gifts are coming. And they will be worth it.
4. You are allowed to feel all of it.
When life rips it’s the way through you, you will feel feelings.
You will have so many opportunities to have emotions rip their way through you. In these moments, you will feel so alive.
Sometimes you may worry that the sadness/pain/grief/anxiety/anger will never end… but it will. It always does. Just like every weather pattern changes, all emotions shift with time. They leave when you have honored them, and when they’re meant to leave.
Regardless of your age, gender, marital status, or occupation… you are allowed to feel your feelings. There’s nothing weak about feeling. In fact, it often takes strength and courage to let yourself feel what you’re feeling.
Yes, women are allowed to be angry. Yes, women are allowed to be things that aren’t just nice, sweet, and accommodating.
Yes, men are allowed to cry. Yes, men are allowed to be sad, confused, overwhelmed, or anxious.
As much as our social conditioning would try and have us believe otherwise, there’s nothing gendered about feeling. We’re all allowed to feel all of it.
If it ever feels like too much, and you need help coping, please, please, please reach out for help. There are people who love you and will support you at the drop of a hat to help carry the load for you.
5. You will be much more susceptible to the tricks of your mind when you’re young. This is to be expected.
One of the greatest gifts that come with life experience is perspective.
In this context, perspective is a fancy way of saying “You’ve gone through shit before, and learned that it didn’t kill you.”
When you’re young, every ‘first’ hurts that much more.
Your first heartbreak. Dealing with the death of a loved one for the first time. Realizing that someone you trusted knowingly deceived or betrayed you for the first time.
When something happens for the first time, it can shock the system. And there’s nothing there to compare it to. So it seems life-ending horrible. And yet, life doesn’t end.
You grow. You become more resilient. You become…. better.
So if you notice your mind telling you that:
– “Life will always be this bad…”
– “People aren’t trustworthy…”
– “Life is pain and nothing else…”
Realize that this is just your ego/fear-mind playing tricks on you. And it will become easier to not listen to these little gremlin voices the older you get. You will unplug from the convincingness of their trickery… and you will be a happier and more resilient person because of it.
If you’re in the midst of something truly awful right now and this seems like a tough pill to swallow (aka your mind is telling you that your case is special and you really are screwed), just give it time.