Leaving A Toxic Relationship Is Hard, But These 6 Steps Make It Easier

 / 

,
Leaving A Toxic Relationship

Have you ever thought of leaving a toxic relationship, but have always found it immensely difficult to go through with it? Here are some ways to leave a toxic relationship.

Ending a toxic relationship can feel like the most difficult thing in the world to do, but still, it needs to be done.

Toxic relationships come in all different shapes and sizes. Maybe your husband belittles you and mocks your hopes and dreams. Maybe your wife refuses to let you go out with your friends, or leave her side without permission.

Perhaps your partner makes fun of your weight, or calls you names. Maybe they’re a narcissist and can only love themselves while causing you pain. Whatever toxic situation you or someone you know is in, it’s time to get out. If you don’t, you will lose yourself.

One thing about toxic relationships, is they are hard to leave. That is part of their poison. But you can do it. Even if you feel like that is an utter impossibility right now, you need to know, really know, that you can leave.

Moving On From A Toxic Relationship

6 Steps That Make Leaving A Toxic Relationship Easier

1. Realize you deserve better.

Yes, you. You deserve to be loved. Not the kind of “love” you think you have now, but real, genuine, reciprocated love. You have battled through so many things in your life, and maybe you feel like you’re too tired to fight anymore, but there is one thing that is always worth fighting for- you.

Healthy relationships don’t revolve around fear or intimidation, nor do they encompass belittling someone or breaking their spirit. If this sounds typical of your relationship, then it’s time to say farewell.

Read Why It’s Better To Stay Single Than In A Toxic Relationship

2. Write things down.

Us humans have a funny sense of memory- it changes depending on what we want to remember. If you dislike someone, you are going to remember all of their bad qualities and unfortunate things they have done. The opposite is also true for those you like. This happens with toxic relationships as well.

When your family or friends try to bring up the subject of your relationship (which I’m sure they have, because they care about you), they will point out a few of the less-than-desirable traits of your poisonous partner. And what do you do? “Oh, it’s not that bad. He/she also is/does (insert random “good” thing).”

Excuses are made and the seemingly pleasant things you choose to remember about your relationship drown out the overwhelmingly bad things. It’s willful denial.

You can make a choice to stop victimizing yourself by writing things down. It won’t take long for the list to grow, and eventually you will see how much damage is really being done.

Name-calling? Mockery? Lies? Manipulation? Every single time you feel that pang of sadness or hurt, write it down. When you get tired of writing, walk away.

3. Understand that they are not going to change. 

If they want to, they will do it on their own terms, in their own time. You will never be able to make someone change until they are ready.

Face it, if seeing the person they supposedly love in pain, and knowing that they are contributing to that pain isn’t enough to make someone want to change, then nothing you can say or do is going to have an effect. You have to take care of yourself because you’re the only one who has a chance of really living.

You’re the only one who can heal you, just as they are the only ones who can heal themselves.

Read The Honest Truth About Toxic Relationships

4. Make a decision.

Once you’ve stared reality in the face and recognized the things your friends and family were trying to tell you, it’s time to make a choice. It’s now or never.

Choose to stay with the person who will continue to treat themselves as a priority and you as a second-rate doormat, or decide to say enough is enough and move on. It’s up to you. What type of life do you want?

5. Understand that it will hurt.

You won’t leave the relationship until you’re ready and willing to do so. Maybe it’s because you get so accustomed to the toxicity that its familiarity is the only thing you crave. But this isn’t love. And some part of you knows this.

Yes, leaving the person you feel connected and chained to is going to be painful, but it is the most precious gift you can give yourself.  It will come with doubt and questioning yourself into a corner.

Little lies of “how good things were” pairs alongside the comfort of the chaos you once defined as “love.” The pain is part of the process, and after you brave the storm, you’ll be a better, stronger, wiser person for it.

“I’ll tell you this. Leaving that which you love breaks your heart open. But you will find a jewel inside, and this precious jewel is the opening of your heart to all that is new and all that is different, and it will be the making of you-if you allow it to be.” ― Jacqueline Winspear

6. Stand by your decision.

Remember that you reached this decision after an involved, thoughtful process. Stand by your decision and remind yourself that it was made for your betterment. This is how you start to live a better life, and transformations have to begin somewhere.

If you start to feel the urge to let the toxic person back in your life, reach out to your support system of family and friends or take out the list you wrote that describes why you felt hurt in the first place. Stay strong and stand by your decision.

“Do not hold your breath for anyone,
Do not wish your lungs to be still,
It may delay the cracks from spreading,
But eventually they will.
Sometimes to keep yourself together
You must allow yourself to leave,
Even if breaking your own heart
Is what it takes to let you breathe.”
― Erin Hanson

Healing From Toxic Relationship

Leaving a toxic relationship can be an exhausting and difficult thing to do. But at the same time, necessary. If you continue to be in a toxic relationship, you will completely lose yourself in the process. So, make yourself a priority and work towards being in relationships that make you and your life better.

If you want to know more about why and how to leave a toxic relationship, then check out this video below:

Why Is It So Hard To Leave A Toxic Relationship? Steps To Leave A Toxic Relationship

Originally appeared in I Heart Intelligence
By Raven Fon
Leaving A Toxic Relationship Is Hard But These 6 Steps Make It Easier
6 Steps For Leaving A Toxic Relationship
Leaving A Toxic Relationship pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Responses

  1. Marcy Gadoy Avatar
    Marcy Gadoy

    Thx so much, I’m in the process of leaving my emotionally abusive husband and it’s way painful.

    But I know it’ll be way more painful if my children and I stay…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Up Next

How To Deal With A Jealous Partner

How To Deal With A Jealous Partner: Practical Tips

Jealousy is a normal part of any romantic relationship and to some extent it can even be healthy. But when your partner becomes excessively jealous it can turn toxic. Let’s explore how to deal with a jealous partner and build a healthier relationship. 

Love and jealousy

It’s a tale as old as time – two individuals come together, in love and hopeful for the future, only for one person to find themselves troubled by the other’s past relationships or experiences. 

If this rings true for you, you’re dealing with what’s termed as “retroactive jealousy“. It can be painful, destructive, and truly challenging, especially if



Up Next

Orbiting Dating: The Trend That Keeps You From Moving On – Are You Guilty?

Orbiting Dating Trend: Eight Warning Signs To Look Out For

In the ever-evolving world of the dating scene, you might have heard of this new phenomenon: the orbiting dating trend. So, what exactly is it?

What Is Orbiting Dating Meaning?

Well, orbiting dating meaning is a bit like ghosting, but with a social media twist. Imagine this: you break off direct contact with someone you’ve been dating, but you continue to engage with their online presence.



Up Next

What Is Emotional Incest: Understanding The Hidden Dynamics and Its Impact On Relationships

What Is Emotional Incest? Signs And How To Heal

Do you know what is emotional incest? It may sound like a strange term, but it refers to a type of relationship dynamic that can have profound effects on individuals involved. 

How often have we heard someone say, “I am my mother’s confidante” or “My dad and I share everything”? While these statements may sound harmless, even commendable, they can sometimes point to a lesser-known and misunderstood psychological phenomenon – emotional incest or emotional incest syndrome.

Let’s  explore this often overlooked aspect of human relationships and find out the signs of emotional incest, effects of emotional incest and if healing from emotional incest is possible.

What is Emotional Incest?



Up Next

Can A Narcissist Be Faithful? 18 Reasons Why They Cheat (And Why They Don’t)

Can A Narcissist Be Faithful? Reasons They Can Be

Can a narcissist be faithful? This question delves into the intricate world of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and the complex dynamics of relationships involving narcissists. 

Understanding the psychology behind this topic is crucial for those who have encountered or are currently involved with narcissistic individuals. Let us explore the nature of narcissism, the reasons why a narcissist can be unfaithful, as well as the factors that might lead them to exhibit faithfulness. 

Can a Narcissist be Faithful in a Relationship?

Can a narcissist be faithful? This is a nuanced question and doesn’t really have a straightforward answer.



Up Next

What Is Parasitic Relationship? 9 Warning Signs and Their Devastating Impact on Your Life

What Is Parasitic Relationship? Nine Warning Signs To Watch For

Have you ever wondered how some relationships can drain the life out of you? Where one person benefits while the other suffers? Welcome to the intriguing world of parasitic relationships. Let’s explore what is parasitic relationship in humans and how to deal with it.

By understanding the dynamics and consequences of parasitic relationships, we can gain valuable insights into fostering healthier connections with others.

What is Parasitic Relationship?

A parasitic relationship in humans refers to an unbalanc



Up Next

What Is Zombieing In Dating? A Crueler Twist On Ghosting Explained

What Is Zombieing In Dating? Three Clear Ways To Deal With It

What is zombieing, you ask? Gone are the days when being ghosted was the ultimate dating nightmare because this new dating trend in town might just change your perspective.

Unlike the malicious “ghostlighting,” which is all about tormenting your dating past, zombieing is a bit more, let’s say, annoying.

So, what is zombieing in dating?

What is zombieng meaning, you ask? In dating refers to the unsettling phenomenon where someone who had previously ghosted you, abruptly cutting



Up Next

The Guilt Trap: Recognizing And Overcoming Guilt Tripping In Relationships

Guilt Tripping In Relationships: Signs And How To Deal

Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship where guilt seems to be the currency of control? Let’s discover what guilt tripping in relationships means and the signs of guilt tripping in a relationship to learn how to break free from this destructive manipulation.

What is guilt tripping in relationships?

Relationships are built on love, trust, and mutual respect. However, there are instances when one partner may resort to harmful tactics to control and manipulate the other. One such toxic behavior is guilt tripping