Interested to know how your friends can help your relationship? Read How Having Friends Outside Your Marriage Benefits the Marriage Itself
5. Don’t Believe Passion Decay Is Irreversible
Long relationships usually an equal waning passion. But according to research on the matter by Finkell & Carswell, how we think about this phenomenon affects what happens in our relationship.
The researchers mean that those who believe in inevitable and irreversible passion decay in long-term relationships are more likely to show less commitment in their current relationship and seek romance outside of it.
However, understanding that passion decay isn’t irreversible can lead to us staying in an otherwise good relationship and marriage.
In other words - if you’re looking for things that keep a relationship alive - believing you can regain the feelings of passion you once shared is definitely one to work on.
6. Plan A Surprise
When we’ve been together for a while our relationships can go a little stale. The daily grind can really wear it down. If this sounds like you, you might want to try planning a surprise for your loved one.
By planning a surprise for your partner you’re letting them know they’re still a top priority. You’re showing them you care and you love them.
Planning a surprise for your partner or spouse doesn’t have to be elaborate. It can be as simple as ordering takeout from their favorite restaurant, giving them a massage after a long, grueling day at the office, or initiating sex in the way you know they love.
Things that keep a relationship alive don’t have to be difficult - they just need to be done. Take turns surprising one another and see what it does for your relationship.
7. Go See A Sex Therapist When Things Are Good
As most couples therapists will tell you - a large portion of clients start therapy when it’s too late.
When things have escalated and are irreparable.
When their relationship has been on the rocks for years.
By going to therapy before things get really bad, you’ll be in a much better position to learn the skills needed to enhance your relationship and to actually use the tools we give you.
If you really want to be proactive about it, seeing a couple’s therapist who specializes in sex therapy is a great idea.
Sex is often difficult to talk about and when we’ve been together for a long time, our sex drive tends to dwindle. By seeing a sex therapist together you can learn how to explore each other’s sexuality and keep growing sexually - together.
Want to know what experts think about sex in long term relationships? Read 104 Experts Reveal The TRUTH About sex In Marriage
8. Ban Orgasms
Sex can be a wonderful experience, be it with orgasms or without them. However, society often makes us feel like we need to have an orgasm in order for our sex lives to be “successful”.
Not only is this not true, but it’s also pretty stressful and sort of misses the mark. Sex isn’t about the goal - it’s about the journey.
By introducing a playful orgasm ban you can help keep the flame of desire going (or awaken it!). Enforcing this type of rule helps you get creative and our libido thrives on novelty.
9. Talk, Talk And Then Talk Some More
Communication in the relationship is crucial. Despite most of us knowing this, amidst the long to-do lists and emails at work, we often forget to communicate.
Perhaps we buckle down and stop telling our partner what’s going on.
We forget to ask them how they’re feeling or what they’re thinking.
We take our relationship and our partner for granted - without ever meaning to.
In order to sustain intimacy and cultivate passion, it’s important to keep the conversation going. As we already established in tip no. 3, continuing to show interest in your partner by not assuming you always know what they’re thinking, is one of the things that keep a relationship alive.