Invalidation and Narcissism: Why They Slowly Erase You

Drilling down further, you know these tactics are being used when you hear things like:

  • You shouldn’t feel that way
  • You’re over-reacting/too sensitive
  • You take things too seriously
  • You’re wrong, that isn’t how you feel, this is how you feel…
  • You have no right to feel that way
  • I never said that/that never happened/it’s all in your head
  • It wasn’t that bad/it could be worse
  • You have things so much better than others
  • You should be grateful for everything I do for you
  • Nobody else agrees with you/has a problem with it
  • There’s something wrong with you/you’ve got big problems/you’re crazy
  • Get over it already
  • I’m not going to talk to you about this


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Conversely, …you could hear nothing at all. Crickets.

Body language, and silence, however, are just as potent in negating your worth, arguably more so than carefully selected poisoned words.


What happens when we internalize narcissistic invalidation

Ultimately, narcissistic invalidation serves to convey that your value exists only within the context of the narc’s own needs. Any incompatibility with this is not permitted.

Devastatingly, the invalidation you are punished with conditions you to comply by suppressing all that makes you, you.

When your own needs, thoughts, experiences, and emotions are voided to be replaced by those of the narc, you have effectively been erased.

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Know that even if you feel somewhat transparent already, you can reclaim all that is you.

You do this by first practicing building awareness of their abuse and detaching from it using tools provided in links. For more on how to do this visit

Gorgeous ones, do not let yourself go.

Keep up the fight for yourself.

The world needs you in it. You need you in it.

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Written by Maggie McGee
Originally appeared on

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Invalidation and Narcissism Why They Slowly Erase You


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Maggie McGee
Maggie McGee is a qualified strength-focused coach with a Masters in Psychology, and is the founder & lead writer at She specializes in empowering people to break free from domestic/family violence & narcissistic abuse, and co-dependency. Her passion is to help people reignite self-love and self-belief by recapturing or discovering for the first time, the magic that is within them. She knows first-hand the disabling effect of the fog caused by narcissistic abuse, and how important clearing this is to reclaiming freedom & joy. Her approach is 'straight-talking' to cut through the manipulation and lies victims are fed to provide practical solutions and kick-start recovery. Sign up for more articles at, join the <a href="https://narcwise/">Narc Wise Community Facebook</a> page for support, and get your daily inspiration on Pinterest. Begin your healing journey now!
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