Willing to love me next? Then promise me that you won’t break my heart.
In case you didn’t know, I’ve been through a lot of difficult times even at a young age. I experienced what it was like to fall in love with people who couldn’t like me back, become someone’s second option, and give my all only to receive nothing in return. I felt heartbreaking losses in the past that I thought I’d never get over with.
Sometimes I spend my time looking back and wishing I could do things differently. My heart has a lot of regrets up until this day.
And I think it’s going to take me couple of years to completely wipe out all the could haves and would haves that are rolling inside my chest.
I am the first to admit that I have a heavy baggage I’m hiding beneath me. I have pieces of yesterday that I don’t want to let go.
I have wounds that I’m preventing from healing, because I’m not yet ready to turn them into scars. I’m not yet ready to give closure to some unfinished business in my life.
But if I’m the one you’re going to love, I hope you understand that my heart hasn’t completely healed from the pain it harbored before.
I hope you’re patient enough to wait for me to finally step out of my guarded zone. And I hope you accept me despite everything that you’re going to hear about me, research about me, learn about me.
If I’m the one you’re going to love, I want you to know that I’m no longer the person that I was several months ago, few years ago. I’m no longer the one who has too many fears, and doubts, and insecurities.
If I’m the one you’re going to love, I want you to love me for who I am right now.
I want you to believe in my potentials and the promises I have for my future. I hope you see all of my hard-work and my progress in becoming a better person. I hope you notice that I’m trying my best to get out of the hole that I dug and put myself into in the past.
If you’re going to love me next, I am hoping that you’re not going to break my heart.
Because I don’t think I can handle another pain. I’m not sure if my heart is ready to be crushed again. And I’m tired of crying over endings and lost love.
If I’m the one you’re going to love, all I ask is that you give me a different story. Show me the other side of love that I haven’t seen and felt yet.
Bring back the smile on my lips and remind me that I deserve to be happy. Convince me that with you, there is nothing to be afraid of, nothing to worry about, nothing to be sad for.
Play my favorite love song, and invite me to dance with you, until our feet get tired. Let’s spend the rest of the night staring at the cloudless night sky, telling each other things that no one knows about us, waiting for the day to begin again, and watch the sun rise above us.
Let’s plan an adventure and immediately make it happen. Let’s live our purpose and live the kind of life that we dream of.
If I’m the one you’re going to love, promise me that I’m not going to spend some cold, lonely nights with no one by my side.
Promise me that each holiday is going to be extra magical and special. Promise me that I’m not going to blow my birthday candles wishing for a love that fills me anymore, because I already have you in my life.
I already have the person I’ve been waiting for so long standing beside me, celebrating an important moment of my life with me.
I have the person who’s mostly the reason why I feel a sense of contentment. And I know that I have the person who’s worth all the tears that I shed before.
If I’m the one you’re going to love, promise me that you won’t get tired of loving me every day. Promise me that you’ll give me hope when I’m on the edge of giving up. Promise that you’ll help me find what I’m searching for in this world.
And promise me that you’ll never do anything to break my trust.
Written by Angelo Caerlang
For more of my writing, like my Facebook page here: Angelo Caerlang