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Family Planning And Parenthood: Won’t I Just Figure It Out?

family planning and parenthood

Families in the middle ages had to accept that they would just figure it out, because (if they were having sex) they had no way of knowing when and if they would get pregnant. For their sanity, they would have had to adopt the mindset of “everything will be okay” because they had no other choice.

Realities Of Today

Today, we have choice – tons of it. Birth control and contraceptives are not the taboo that they used to be, and we need to take advantage of what they are for. That is – controlling birth. These modern advancements can let a couple of plan when to have a child or not. In doing so, they provide a couple more time to get ready for a future when a child could be possible.

Today, to say, “I’ll just figure it out when it happens” is like having a 50-horsepower tractor in your shed, and instead, you grab your hand plow to till your 20 acres. If you are not from the south and have not been subjected to field trips where you try to use a hand plow, let me tell you, it’s tough.

Why put yourself through the trouble? You have the appropriate tools. You live at the appropriate times. Use appropriate reasoning. Advancements in time and choice enable us to move past “figuring it out”, towards “planning it out”.

Even if contraception in modern forms is not something you are willing to use for personal or religious reasons, (hopefully) you still know what goes into making a baby, and can prepare yourself for life with a child, should you be engaging in those child creating activities?

Giving In To Family Pressure

A couple that I was working with found themselves in this situation. The pair was feeling pressure from the family to have a child. The stress was overwhelming so they avoided the idea of how to best prepare themselves financially, mentally, and relationally.

Instead, they coped by comforting themselves with the idea that “we’ll just figure it out when we get there”. This couple avoided the hard work ahead of time and unfortunately, they are struggling in those realities now.

Artifacts like the medieval hand plow are in museums and not on the farm, for a reason. They would be more trouble than they are worth and better equipment is available today. Likewise, much of the conversation around family planning belongs in a museum.

We have better equipment and better knowledge today than ever have before. Let’s use it.

Related: Moral Rebel: Here’s Why Some People Can Stand Up to Social Pressure


Andersen, T. B., Jensen, P. S., & Skovsgaard, C. S. (2013). The Heavy Plough and the Agricultural Revolution in Medieval Europe.….

Pandia Health Editorial Team (Ed.). (n.d.). Birth Control Throughout History. Pandia Health .….
Written By: Stephanie Cox MS
Originally Appeared On: Psychology Today
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Family Planning And Parenthood: Won't I Just Figure It Out?
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