What Is Social Aggression: How To Spot And Stop It

/

, ,
What Is Social Aggression: How To Spot And Stop It

Social aggression might not seem like a very big deal on the surface, but if not tackled properly, it can have far-reaching consequences.

“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Not really, actually. I disagree – words can hurt, as can being ignored or shunned or having rumors spread about you. When these things are repeated over time, it is bullying. And we need to make sure that we are addressing it as bullying.

This is more than just “boys will be boys” or “mean girls.” We need to help our kids to be kind to each other and to cope when other kids are being socially aggressive.

What Is Social Aggression?

Social aggression (or relational bullying) is the type of bullying where people gossip behind someone’s back, spread rumors, ignore and leave others out.

Girls are more likely to participate in this type of bullying. For example, a rumor could be spread about one girl – that she is pregnant. As the rumor goes around the school, her reputation is damaged. When she tries to combat the rumor, she may face anger or people ignoring her.

Related: Why Todays Mean Girls Are Younger and Meaner Than Ever Before

How Do We Catch Social Aggression, When It Is Happening?

What Is Social Aggression: How To Spot And Stop It
What Is Social Aggression: How To Spot And Stop It

What makes social aggression so scary, and why this is so important, is that it is hard for concerned adults to spot. Like in the example above, it may be difficult to identify who started a rumor. It’s hard to tell when a child is being actively excluded by a group or “just doesn’t want to hang out with them anymore.”

Also, adults don’t often hear about rumors or exclusion until the victim’s self-esteem has been damaged and he or she is asking (or crying) for help. Sometimes kids can use code words to talk about someone (they think they are being so sneaky), but adults may still be able to identify social aggression by observing body language and the reactions of those involved (the bullies and the victim).

Also, while you may not always be present to observe the bullying first-hand, there are signs that may victims display, which may indicate that there has been social aggression.

If you have observed or suspect social aggression, explore it with your child. This is so important because social aggression can be emotionally abusive to the victim and leads to long-term emotional effects.

How Do I Help My Child Address Social Aggression?

If you have a child who is the victim of social aggression, it is important to talk to them and assess the intensity. Start by being empathic and asking open-ended questions to your child to find out what is being said.

It is important that you do not tell them how they feel, but rather ask how they are feeling or if they are feeling a certain way. Let them express their own experience, in their own words.

Secondly, there needs to be a plan of action to stop this bullying. If your child says he or she will handle the social aggression on his or her own, it’s important for your child to communicate what the plan will be, so you can follow up.

If social aggression is getting worse and your child is getting more upset, it is important to speak to the school and make sure a plan is put in place to help your child feel supported. Children do not always want to share what is going on in their lives or have their parents solve their battles for them.

Related: Psychopathy in Children: How To Spot and Deal With Psychopathic Children

It is important for you to work more as a coach and support system with a clear plan of action and follow-up. It is important that your child has a chance to take care of the bullying on his or her own. However, your child may require additional coping skills and work with a therapist to improve his or her self-esteem.

It may be important for your child to see a therapist if you see your child getting more depressed and isolating away from others. Each child’s response to social aggression and relational bullying is different, so having a mental health professional assess the effects of this type of bullying could be very helpful to your child’s well-being.

Most importantly, there must be action taken when your child is being relationally bullied. Please do not allow this behavior to continue. Provide necessary support and action. If you let it go, looking at “mean girls” or “boys being boys” as a rite of passage, the long-term effects could be heart-breaking.


Written By Danielle Matthew
Originally Appeared In Empowerment Space

Social aggression can have disastrous consequences on a person’s psyche, more so a child’s. That is why this should always be taken seriously, and efforts should be made to deal with it effectively. Because at the end of the day, your child’s mental health, and emotional well-being depend on this.

what is social aggression pin
What Is Social Aggression: How To Spot And Stop It
what is social aggression pin
What Is Social Aggression: How To Spot And Stop It
  • Lack Of Individuation: From Codependent Chameleon To True Self
  • The Rise in Armchair Psychologists on Social Media
  • 30+ Inspiring Quotes About Forgiveness To Let Go Of The Painful Past
  • When You Are Your Own Abuser: 7 Ugly Signs Of Self Abuse That You Ignore
Up Next

Emotionally Immature Parents: 7 Signs You Were Raised By One

Signs Raised By Emotionally Immature Parents

Parents are the guiding force in their children's lives and children grow up emulating and idolizing their parents. For every child, their parents are the people to look to when it comes to understanding how life is and what it means to be a healthy and good person. However, this doesn't hold true for emotionally immature parents.

Emotionally immature parents are controlling, narrow-minded, unreliable, and demanding. They tend to shame and guilt their kids into doing what they want them to do and have zero consideration about what their kids might want. Your emotional needs were never met by your parents, and even as a child, you felt lonely and depressed. You could never have a healthy, normal, and happy relationship with them, and all you craved was love and some parental affection.

Adult children of emotionally immature people never knew what


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

10 Frustrating Things Childfree People Hear All the Time

Frustrating Things Childfree People Hear

Childfree people are often shamed for their choice of not wanting children, be it by their close ones or even strangers. There are so many offensive, insensitive, and frustrating things people say to childfree couples, just because they can't fathom living a life without having children. Just like for some people, having children is the way to living a happy life, similarly, for some people, a childfree life is the way to go.

Key Points:

  • Adults who are childfree by choice often face societal pressures for this decision from those in their social circle.
  • Recent generations struggle to overcome gendered expectations surrounding child-bearing.
  • While many statements are said with good intentions, they continue to perpetuate a message in our society about expectations.

READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

Children Of Narcissistic Parents: The Challenge of ‘Reparenting’ Yourself

Children Of Narcissistic Parents

Children of narcissistic parents always get the rough end of the deal; instead of having a safe and protected childhood, all they know are abuse, heartbreak, and manipulation. Parents are supposed to love their children, but children of NPD parents only get pain and trauma.

"If you were born into a narcissistic family, you may have grown up with a roof over your head, but sadly you weren’t raised. You must complete the job yourself. It’s called reparenting" ~ Glynis Sherwood

Related: 10 Things Toxic Parents Say And What They Actually Mean

Ove


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

5 Reasons Parents Are Like Shamans

parent as shaman

Shamans are wounded healers who guide people that become lost while navigating through life and fulfill multiple functions, just like a parent. If you are a parent, then you must know about the shamanic approach for parents.

Parenting is one of the most rewarding roles we can have as human beings. As parents, our job is to raise, guide and protect our children, to heal them, and to prepare them to face the challenges of the world and experience the grandeur of the universe. And perhaps this is why, being a parent is often similar to being a shaman.

Parenting is a serious responsibility. If you are a parent, you already know the challenges and joys that come with this journey. As parents, we always give our best to ensure that our children are raised in the best way possible in the most fitting envi


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

What Is Codependent Parental Neglect?

Codependent Parental Neglect

The aim of this article is to neither shame nor blame codependent parents who participate in their family's dysfunction but rather to provide codependency recovery-specific information as well as to open up a discourse on an otherwise taboo subject.

The codependent abnegation of responsibility to protect their children should never be reduced to a simple "good or bad" proposition. It is simply too complicated to cast a one-dimensional blame net. However, because we live in a society that holds adults responsible for their actions, it is vitally important to understand the consequences and losses that result from Codependent Parental Neglect, even if the person causing the harm is also the victim.

Even though the partner to the narcissist suffers grievous harm in their relationship, their codependency "problem" shou


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
What A Man Looks For In A Woman Based On His Zodiac Sign How Each Zodiac Sign Acts When They Hate Someone Type A Personality Quiz: Do You See Tree, Roots Or Lips? Your Biggest Fear In A Relationship, Based On Your Zodiac Sign What You Need In A Forever Person, Based On Your Zodiac Sign