How To Build A Strong Relationship

 / 

, , ,
how to build a strong relationship

Building a strong relationship takes time, commitment, and both party’s willingness to work for it. While every relationship is different, but here are some basic ways that can be used to improve your relationship.

When it comes to how to build a strong relationship and make it more resilient, there are literally hundreds of things you can do. But since you likely don’t have oodles of time (who does?) – this article focuses on two key points – time and attention.

While they may sound obvious, they’re often sorely ignored. This is because it can be difficult to find the time or give attention to more than one thing. But what you find the time to nurture is often what thrives. 

Let’s take a look at these factors – and a few things you can do together to practice prioritizing them. 

Put Aside Time For Your Relationship

With loads of laundry and emails to be answered, it’s easy to let our relationship fall by the wayside. In fact, a lot of us view time for our relationship as a luxury, and not a given. But the fact is if this attitude is sustained year in and year out, and you don’t do anything actively to devote some time, you risk growing apart.

Basically – it’s all down to switching priorities. For some this is easier, for others, harder. 

Strong Relationship

Regardless of how the idea of prioritizing your relationship makes you feel – see if you can challenge yourself. If it feels like a huge effort, think about why that might be. 

Maybe you’re worried the house is going to fall apart if you don’t get a grip on the laundry? Or you may think your children are going to miss that after-school activity if you use the time for your relationship?

Regardless of why it feels like an effort, you might find it’s worth giving it a try. Remember – just because you decide to change your priorities for a few weeks (or only one week!), it doesn’t mean it has to change forever. But part of how to build a strong relationship is trying out new ways of keeping your connection alive.

Related: Why Soul Connections Are Bigger Than Soulmates

And the thing is, if you put your relationship first from time to time, you’ll be building a relationship buffer together, which may come in handy when things get tough. Like when one of you falls ill, has far too much to do, or if a close family member passes away.

What you do today doesn’t only affect today. It also affects tomorrow, and all the years to come. 

What You Can Do When You’ve Got Little Time:

1. Rather than vacuuming the house, set aside some time to talk.

A quarter of an hour here and there, where you can talk about things that aren’t practicalities – can do wonders. Focus on an emotional topic or something that’s dear to you.

2. When you’re sitting on the sofa watching Netflix – don’t sit far apart!

Hold each other’s hands or lean towards each other. This is a pretty straightforward strategy and one you can take advantage of in other situations too, like when you’re having a cup of coffee together.

3. Look them in the eyes

Rather than multitasking – such as scrolling on your phone or replying to a text when your partner’s telling you about their day – look them in the eyes. This acknowledges them, their feelings and fosters connection. And this truly is one of the best ways of how to build a strong relationship – through validating your partner.

Couples who actually look one another in the eyes, and give the other person their full attention, tend to be happier in their relationships.

In the words of political activist Simone Weil: ”Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” See what happens when you practice this over time.

What You Can Do When You’ve Got More Time:

1. Rather than polishing off three episodes on Netflix – celebrate something together!

My personal opinion is that we celebrate way too seldom in life. But in all honesty, my opinion here isn’t what counts. What does count, however, is that research shows that celebrating is important for your relationship to last over time.

And, celebrating doesn’t have to be a big thing. It’s enough that the one who’s got some good news to relay is met with joy and enthusiasm by their partner. Open a bottle of wine, make some tea – or just share some sweets together.

2. Date night – a true classic!

Make sure to schedule some time just for the two of you to do something together. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. Perhaps you could decide to cook dinner together. Research has shown that planning and carrying out activities together strengthens relationships, leading to a happier relationship over time. 

3. Take turns surprising each other with a planned activity.

Again, it doesn’t have to be anything mind-blowing. Just the idea of you mashing the potatoes just the way your partner likes them, or putting on your partner’s favorite music, could do the trick.  These are small gestures that show the other you know them and care about them. This does a lot for your relationship!

Get Better At Validating Your Partner

Researchers Julie and John Gottman have been studying relationships for more than 40 years. One of the things they’ve looked at specifically is how to build a strong relationship, through understanding why certain relationships last, and others don’t.

Now, it’s clearly not desirable in every situation that our relationship should remain forever. And the fact of the matter is, the older we get, the harder that lifelong monogamy ideal becomes. One reason is, we need to stay together longer today than we needed to 100 years ago, simply because we live longer.

From that perspective, the challenge becomes even greater. But if we assume that the one we’re with at the moment is the one we’d like to stay together with, an important principle based on Gottman’s research, is showing your partner validation.

It may sound ridiculously simple, but it’s surprisingly difficult for many of us to live up to this in everyday life.

Related: How A Lack Of Attention Ruins Relationship? Ways To Cope

What Validation is

Validation isn’t only about listening to your partner, it’s also about paying attention to your partner’s every attempt at communication.

Couples who are good at this response to the other person bid for attention, for example, when they sigh, laugh at something they’re reading – or when they’re trying to get closer, physically.

Not noticing the other person’s attempt at communication isn’t about us being “bad” partners or evil at heart. You can easily get stuck in a pattern where you don’t see or hear your partner. But if you recognize you’re not responding to your partner’s attempts – or they don’t respond to yours – it’s important to improve it, if you’re interested in how to build a strong relationship.

Try to think back to a situation when the other person was making a bid for your attention. What has your response been? If your partner sighs when they do the washing-up – do you ask if he or she is ok? Or do say nothing?

If your partner laughs when scrolling on their phone – do you show you’re curious about what’s so funny? Or do you just carry on with your own thing? The trick here is to turn towards each other, not away from one another.

How To Build A Strong Relationship

How to build a strong relationship isn’t rocket science – but that doesn’t mean it always comes naturally. Life is hard and even the most important things to us, like our partner, can get lost in the shuffle.

If you want to make improvements, focus on both short-term, and long-term goals, like devoting time to one another and paying attention to attempts at communication. You’ll be surprised what a difference it makes!

Originally published on LeighNoren.com.
how to build a strong relationship pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Up Next

The 3 Most Common Types Of Cheaters: Uncovering The Love Fraudsters

Most Common Types Of Cheaters: The Silent Echoes Of Deceit

In every love story, the sweet haze of romance often hides some unsettling figures lurking in the shadows—figures of deceit that can turn sweet stories bitter. When it comes to infidelity and cheating, you might be a bit surprised to know that there are different types of cheaters, mainly 3 types of cheaters.

Revealing these types of cheaters might bring out uncomfortable truths, but they’re important for understanding the complex world of human emotions. Through their different ways of dishonesty, they show the complicated and tangled nature of cheating. Each one represents a warning about the rough patches that love can sometimes



Up Next

How To Deal With A Jealous Partner

How To Deal With A Jealous Partner: Practical Tips

Jealousy is a normal part of any romantic relationship and to some extent it can even be healthy. But when your partner becomes excessively jealous it can turn toxic. Let’s explore how to deal with a jealous partner and build a healthier relationship. 

Love and jealousy

It’s a tale as old as time – two individuals come together, in love and hopeful for the future, only for one person to find themselves troubled by the other’s past relationships or experiences. 

If this rings true for you, you’re dealing with what’s termed as “retroactive jealousy“. It can be painful, destructive, and truly challenging, especially if



Up Next

Codependency or Love? 8 Signs Of Enmeshment In Romantic Relationships

Eight Signs Of Enmeshment In Romantic Relationships

Ever felt like you’re too close in your relationship? When two become one, where’s the “me” in the “we”? Welcome to the world of enmeshment in romantic relationships. It’s where deep love can sometimes feel like a tight squeeze. So, are you in a cosy embrace or a restrictive hold?

Join us as we shed light on these blurred boundaries and help you find your footing. It’s all about striking the right balance: being close yet maintaining your own space.

Ready to dive deeper into understanding enmeshment in romantic relationships and balancing your love connection? Let’s get started.



Up Next

Dating Someone With Relationship OCD? 7 Strategies For Supporting Your Loved One

Dating Someone With Relationship OCD? Seven Essential Insights

Relationships are built on trust, understanding, and commitment. These are the pillars that hold a relationship steady, even when storms come. And just like any challenge in life, some storms are tougher than others. One such challenge is when you are dating someone with Relationship OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder). 

This condition can bring unique difficulties, but with knowledge and patience, you can meet these challenges head-on. When you are dating someone with OCD and anxiety, both of you must make an effort to understand this disorder.

When both of you are informed, you can navigate the challe



Up Next

What Is A Summer Fling? 20 Tips On How To Have A Summer Fling

What Is A Summer Fling? Twenty Strategies To Have A Summer Fling

Warm breezes, sandy beaches, and a whirlwind romance that lasts just a season – ever wondered what is a summer fling? Dive in as we unravel this sun-kissed mystery and give you the ultimate guide on how to have a summer fling.

What Is a Summer Fling? 

The quintessential charm of summer lies in its fleeting nature, much like the brief but passionate encounters we often refer to as “summer flings”. What is a summer fling? 

It’s a



Up Next

What Is a Serial Dater? The Underlying Psychology and 5 Warning Signs

What Is a Serial Dater? Underlying Psychology and Five Signs

Have you ever come across someone who seems to be constantly dating, jumping from one relationship to another with lightning speed? They just might be a serial dater. What is a serial dater, you ask? 

Serial daters always have a new partner on their arm, leaving behind a trail of broken hearts. If you’ve ever wondered what drives these individuals to engage in such a whirlwind of romantic entanglements, then you’ve stumbled upon the world of serial dating. 

Let’s explore what it means to be a serial dater, identify the telltale signs of a serial dater, and delve into the complexities of this dating phenomenon. So, fasten your seatbelts as we embark on a journey to understand the enigmatic world of serial dating.



Up Next

How To Deal With A Perfectionist Partner

How To Deal With A Perfectionist Partner: Eleven Tips

Do you have a partner who constantly strives for perfection in every aspect of their life? While it may seem admirable at first, dealing with a perfectionist partner can sometimes be challenging. Let’s explore how to deal with a perfectionist partner and build a healthier relationship. 

How to deal with a perfectionist partner

A perfectionist partner has high standards and relentless pursuit of flawlessness, which can create tension and frustration in a relationship. However, it’s important to remember that perfectionism is often rooted in