6. Internal policing of digital behavior
“A relationship without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it all you want, but it won’t go anywhere.” – unknown
A toxic relationship can often make you police and check your own digital behavior due to the fear of repercussions, even though you might not have done anything wrong. A toxic, manipulative and dominating partner may gain access to your phone, check your texts and photos, track your location and ask you to provide evidence about your whereabouts all the time. Then they will use this information and tweak them to their benefit to abuse, harass, criticize, accuse and control you.
When this kind of behavior becomes frequent and common, you will start policing yourself and how you use your device. You may hide or delete certain media or messages as they may be used against you. You may delete call logs and ask friends of the opposite gender not to contact you during specific hours as you will be with your partner. You will fear that if they find anything in your phone, they will doubt and accuse you of cheating although you’ve been nothing but faithful.
7. Taking over your device
“The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.” – Robert Anthony
Your partner may confiscate your phone claiming you’re addicted to it or may emotionally blackmail you to stop using it by making up emotional (read fictional) stories about their past relationship and ex partner and how they got cheated. Although they may sound concerned, loving or hurt, these are all strategies to control you and isolate you. All they want is to stop you from communicating with others or at least control it. However, they might also get aggressive and forcefully confiscate your phone when you’re inside the safety of your bedroom and away from the eyes of your loved ones.
Whether your partner is doing this subtly or directly, this is not only a sign of an unhealthy relationship but also a warning sign of abuse.
Here’s an interesting video that you may find helpful:
Read their texting habits more than their texts
“We’re human beings; we’re not robots. And face-to-face contact is something totally different than typing a text message and then forgetting about it.” – Noam Chomsky
If you notice your partner is showing toxic texting habits, then you need to give it some serious attention in real life. These can indicate and lead to further toxic behaviors in the relationship. If you feel uncomfortable with how your partner texts and communicates with you digitally, it will be best to talk to them openly and honestly in person and tell them exactly how you feel. It may be just a misunderstanding from your end and talking may clear things up. But if their behavior doesn’t change or improve, then you may need to take a serious look at the relationship and reconsider it.
Toxic texting behaviors can not only ruin your relationship, but also corrupt your life. So look out for these relationship red flags and save yourself from unnecessary abuse and harassment.
You don’t deserve a relationship that drains your energy and your phone. You deserve someone who trusts you and lets you be.
“Break free of toxic people and relationships, they erode your quality of life.” – Ty Howard
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