“Trust is the most important part of a relationship, closely followed by communication. I think that if you have those two things, everything else falls into place – your affection, your emotional connection.” – Vanessa Lachey
Most people usually equate trust with sexual fidelity only but trust is a more comprehensive feeling.
It is an unsaid commitment to want the best for the other person and making every possible effort to support their growth and well being.
“I have defined love as the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s or another’s spiritual growth. Genuine love is volitional rather than emotional. The person who truly loves does so because of a decision to love. This person has made a commitment to love, whether or not the loving feeling is present. True love is not a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. It is a committed, thoughtful decision.”- M.Scott Peck
Couples in happy, healthy and fulfilling relationships display these five specific kinds of trust.
We would suggest you to go through this list with your partner and check which kind of trust you bring (or do not bring) to the table:
1) Trust that you will offer fidelity: sexually and emotionally
Fidelity is an important part of any relationship. Everyone has a different definition of fidelity. Therefore, it is important to have a discussion with your partner about his viewpoints on fidelity so that both of you are on the same page.
Fidelity is not just restricted to sexual intimacy but also extends to emotional intimacy that two people share.
If you are unhappy in your marriage, talk about it with your partner or seek professional counseling rather than looking for a part-time lover outside marriage.
2) Trust that you will not manipulate, harm or hurt one another
True love should be wild but free. Love blossoms in an environment of safety and security.
Do not suffocate your partner with unnecessary clinging or possessiveness and never try to manipulate, harm or control one another.
3) Trust that you will love one another without hidden agendas
You and your partner need to feel sure that they are loved for being themselves and not for some hidden agendas.
That includes hooking for benefits like looks, money, social status or other rewards.
4) Trust that you will not abandon one another in the face of conflicts, hardships or disagreements
In any relationship, the initial feelings of attraction and euphoria are bound to pass. If we spend enough time with someone, we will gradually realize that we don’t agree on all points nor do we have all same preferences and choices or timings.
Therefore, conflicts and disagreements are inevitable in any relationship.
But it is important to have the discussion and expression of anger in a safe and friendly environment without threatening to leave your partner or instilling the fear of abandonment in their mind.
5) Trust that you will make time for your relationship
In the initial phases of our relationship we spend a lot of time with our partners but slowly we start taking them for granting.
We stop being grateful for the little things that they do for us or stop giving them compliments or going out on dates with them.
We get busy with our work or hobbies and stop making time for our relationship.
It is important that we learn to strike a work-life balance and make time for our relationship.