4 Ways a Controlling Partner Damages A Relationship


Controlling Partner Damages A Relationship

Being with a controlling partner can be emotionally exhausting, and not to forget, can severely damage your relationship.

Someone with a controlling personality becomes an expert at rationalizing to themselves. They rationalize that if only they could control their partner, they would have a more secure relationship.

And this in turn would prevent their partner from breaking up with them or having an affair with somebody else.

This is how the mind of a controlling person works. But this way of thinking is seriously misguided.

Trying to control a partner can destroy a relationship in any number of ways that the overly controlling person never intends or foresees.

This is why you should never tolerate it in a relationship. This article will explain the four main ways that controlling behavior can silently undermine a relationship until there is nothing left to salvage.

How Controlling Behavior Silently Undermines Relationships

Often, controlling people are unaware of the following damages until it’s too late:

1. Interfering With A Satisfying Sex Life: 

Sex is important in a relationship. It is one of the main ways in which people build and maintain intimacy in a romantic relationship.

Unfortunately, controlling people will stop having sex with their partner if their partner doesn’t meet their demands.

In a relationship like this, sex stops being a source of intimacy and becomes a reward for caving into a partner’s wishes. That’s not good. Before long, sex will no longer be enjoyable if it has these kinds of strings attached.

2. Control Involves Judgment and Criticism: 

When you try to control someone’s behavior, you inevitably have to criticize them in some shape of fashion. You have to criticize their current behavior in order to get them to change it.

The problem with this is that criticism is one of the surest ways to kill any intimacy in your relationship. According to John Gottman, criticism is the single best predictor of marriage eventually failing.

He claims to be able to accurately predict divorce 90 percent of the time, so it’s worth heeding his advice. If you want to change someone’s behavior for the better, criticizing them is probably the worst way to go about it. Even if you get positive short-term results, your partner’s resentment will start to build.

Related: 10 Warning Signs That He’s Going To Be Controlling

3. Growing Resentment: 

Constantly being on the receiving end of bossy, critical, and controlling behavior will cause a person to gradually accumulate resentment against the person giving it to them.

Resentment is a slow killer in any relationship. Ironically, the controlling partner may start to feel more secure as the other partner complies with their demands, but under the surface, the building resentment is destroying the relationship. The longer this goes on, the more problems in the relationship will start to appear.

4. Loss of Respect: 

When someone behaves in a controlling way, it’s natural to lose respect for them. On the other side, it’s hard to respect someone who caves into your every demand.

So respect is lost from both sides. Either person loses respect for their partner, it’s hard for the relationship to survive. Controlling behavior erodes respect.

Control Changes Love into Slavery

When a person incessantly bosses their partner around, the dynamic can no longer be described as a loving relationship. It has been transformed into a relationship between a master and a slave.

That is not a loving relationship. Even though the two people may appear to still be in a relationship, the controlling behavior of one partner has in fact destroyed the relationship from within.

If you’re in a relationship with a controlling partner, there are steps you can take to improve the situation. The first step is to understand the underlying reasons for your partner resorting to controlling behavior. Once you get to the root of that problem, there is a possibility of fixing the underlying problem, thereby fixing the controlling behaviors that are caused by the root problem.

Related: 13 Signs You’re The Toxic Partner In Your Relationship

Remember that controlling behavior is the symptom. There can be any number of root causes, such as:

  • Having been raised by a controlling parent
  • Underlying insecurity
  • Many other possible causes

And all of these have resulted in the person being controlling. You need to find ways of fixing these root causes of the problem. If the person is insecure, you need to help them overcome their insecurity.

Once the root cause is taken care of, you can start to rebuild the love in your relationship.

4 Hidden Ways a Controlling Personality Undermines A Relationship
Controlling Partner Damages A Relationship Pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Up Next

What Is Breadcrumbing And Why Do We Fall Victim To It?

What Is Breadcrumbing And Why Do We Fall Victim To It?

Have you ever been on the other side of breadcrumbing? If you have, you know how horrible it feels. So, what is the best way to deal with this? Let’s find out, shall we?


Breadcrumbing is characterised by avoidance of intimacy and commitment uncertainty.

Breadcrumbers often want to seek attention from their partners and appear cool to their friends.

Dealing with breadcrumbing sometimes involves breadcrumbing others.

Breadcrumbing takes its name from the Grimm Brothers story of Hansel and Gretel — two children who in escaping from their wicked stepmother, dr

Up Next

Want To Try Speed Dating? 6 Mindful Tips To Make A Real Connection

What Is Speed Dating: Interesting Tips To Real Connections

Is speed dating the most effective way to find your soul mate through a series of mini dates? Do you feel like giving this exciting trend a try? Let’s see how it works.

This is an event format that allows people to go on many dates within a short time to talk with several people.

Let’s discuss what speed dating is like, how it operates, and some suggestions on optimizing your love life!

What Is Speed Dating?

Up Next

Is He Drifting Away? 8 Signs He Is Losing Interest And How To Turn Things Around

Signs He Is Losing Interest: Is He Drifting Away?

It’s one of the worst feelings in this world when the person you love, starts to lose interest in you. You thought that everything was going great and you are the happiest you have ever been, and then suddenly, you realize that he is acting very distant and emotionally detached. Today we are going to talk about the major signs he is losing interest.

Once you know these signs you will be able to better understand what’s actually going on in your relationship, instead of staying in a bubble, not knowing the truth. Also, why do guys act so interested then pull away? So annoying!

And we won’t just talk about the signs he is losing interest, but we will also provide some effective and useful tips regarding what to do when he lost interest.

Whether you are in a new relationship or have been together for years

Up Next

How Healthy Relationships Can Improve Your Physical Health

How Healthy Relationships Can Improve Your Physical Health

Healthy relationships are crucial for feeling happy, positive, and also physically healthy. The physical benefits of healthy relationships are a lot, and this article is going to talk about that in detail. Let’s find out the importance of having strong and healthy relationships.

Humans need humans to survive.

It’s no secret that a healthy relationship can bring joy and happiness to your life, but did you know that it can also have a positive impact on your physical health?

From reducing stress levels to boosting your immune system, there are many surprising health benefits to being in a happy partnership. Read on to learn more.

We are social creatures who thrive on strong, healthy relationships with friends, colleagues and family me

Up Next

When You Refuse To Let Go Of Someone You Love, Even When They Don’t Love You Anymore

Why You Should Let Go Of Someone You Love

I get it. You don’t want to let go of someone you love. Even when it’s clear that it’s over. Even when it’s clear that it is time and things will only get worse from here. Yet, you want to hold on just a little longer. But if you truly love someone let them go.

“No! No! It’s fine. It’s absolutely fine. It’s working. Listen to me, I know it’s working. This is normal. Show me a relationship that doesn’t have problems. I will make it work. I know I can. Just give me a little time. Just a little more time. Please, just bear with me for a second here. Please. Don’t take it away from me yet. Please. It’s not time. It can’t be. Will you just listen to me once for god’s sake?”

But deep down you know it in your heart. You just know it. It is screaming at you. And even though you may pretend you

Up Next

7 Warning Signs Of Losing Yourself In A Relationship And How to Rediscover Your Sense of Self

Signs Of Losing Yourself In A Relationship

Are you starting to feel like you have lost yourself in a relationship? Do you have this persistent feeling that you don’t know who you are anymore? You know, that feeling when you are so caught up in someone else’s world, that you forget who you are? Well, these are just some signs of losing yourself in a relationship.

Believe it or not, this is actually quite a common feeling, and lots of people experience this. If you have ever felt like you have lost yourself in a relationship, then this article can be a godsend for you.

Let’s delve into the all those signs of losing yourself in a relationship, so that you can stop yourself from doing so (at least to some extent!). And not just this, we will also talk about what to do when you lose yourself in a relationship. So, are you ready to explore this? Let’s go then!

Up Next

How To Let Go Of Someone You Are Desperately Trying To Hold On To

How To Let Go Of Someone You Are Trying To Hold On To

Do you know what happens when you desperately hold on to someone you really need to let go of? When you hold on to the idea of “us” and refuse to see the reality for what it is? You force the person you love the most in the world to hate you. You compel them to resent you. And in this process, you hurt yourself more than the other person did. This is why it’s crucial that we talk about how to let go of someone you don’t want to lose.

No one wants to let go of love

Especially when it’s the real deal. Especially when you’ve been told you are not worthy of love all your life. And this one person comes into your life and completely changes