It will be an overwhelming, heart touching experience in the beginning. Everything will seem eternally rosy and beautiful with a sense of contentment and an exciting rush of adrenaline.
All your senses will be alive again. Just a glance at them and you will again feel that old rush of happy shower rising from within you.
After a long span of time, you will feel a sense of relief, like you are reliving those beautiful lost memories you have always craved for.
But before you know what is happening, suddenly everything will go back to square one – that other facet of the individual that has almost destroyed you, shows up.
It will inevitably show up. It will leave you confused, hurt, broken, deceived and even make you feel like you are losing your sanity. But worst still you will allow it happen to you. You know you deserve much better. Nevertheless, you will choose this miserable situation over and over again.
You should never forget the number of times you have shattered and recollected yourself, the nights you have cried our heart out, slipping into pain all alone. No one heard you screaming for help. Your partner could only push you into the darkness you were so scared of.
Don’t ever forget that excruciating pain that left you numb. Don’t forget about the emotional afflictions on you, that persistent pain that has left you to pieces.
Don’t ever forget that when someone genuinely loves you, it will be reflected in his/her actions. An object of love can never be hurt, destroyed or demolished. If a person really loves you, they will shower you with affection, understanding and warmth; not push you into the cold, dark abyss.
Where there is no love, you will only end up feeling helpless, lonely, desolated and a tool to skim advantages; a mere punching bag.
When they leave, even if you overtly feel miserable, but somewhere in your heart you know you were lucky that this person was no longer a part of your life because you opened yourself up for someone new, someone better, a more extraordinary love, someone who deserves you. This is that someone who has embraced the entirety of you, the whole of you, however scarred you are.
You deserve someone who doesn’t give you internal conflicts. Someone who never leaves when things get hard, when life becomes complicated, when you’re lost and confused and aren’t sure of what to do next.
You deserve someone who never gets distracted to the luring external world and always focuses his attention on you because this person respects your uniqueness and treasures you; the most precious gift of his life.
You definitely love them. They might have even lifted you up when no one saw you falling. They were a huge part of you, your life, your memories; someone to whom you revealed all your insecurities, with whom you had spent intimate moments – they were the ones who had kissed your wounds, had lent you a hand, had pulled you up when you fell.
That special connection you felt with them is what holds you back from saying the final goodbye. You keep on circling around those days of sunshine they gifted you and entirely forget about their push which had sent you off the cliff.
It was when you rebelled against their whimsical attitude that they decided to leave you. You broke up with all the courage left in you after they had left you in a filthy pit of self-blame and toxicity.
Let’s put it this way – it takes a person real strength to rediscover oneself after being lost in the dark. And you finally can do this.
When these people want you back, remember, a selfish person is incapable of thinking beyond themselves. They are incapacitated to love.
Leave your life open for a love that you deserve – I promise you, it’s out there.