Choice … Is The Most Powerful Tool We Have

choice

Choice …
Is the most powerful tool we have.
Everything boils down to choice.
We exist in a field of infinite possibilities.
Every choice we make shuts an infinite number of doors and opens an infinite number of doors. At any point, we can change the direction of our lives by a simple choice. It is all in our hands, our hearts, and our minds.

Depression – A Struggle Resulting from No Control or Choice?

Depression is a debilitating condition that has so many branches, it’s rooted mentally, and casts a dark shadow over us physically. It’s a mental health illness that has become so prevalent in society, so much so that more than 300 million people suffer from the condition worldwide and by 2020 clinical depression will impose the second highest burden of any disease in advanced countries, according to the World Health Organisation.

Is Depression Brought About by Lack of Choice? 

Through my own struggle with depression and many stories that I’ve heard and read about, I’ve found a trend and that is lack of choice! 

What I mean is that amassed traumatic past experiences, circumstances and situations, causing depression, have a common trend – the individual not having the choice in the moment, to control what happens or what has happened to them.

Following this thought process further I discovered an intriguing article on Huffington Post by Johann Hari which relates to this notion. Johan writes, ‘The more I investigated depression and anxiety, the more I found that, far from being caused by a spontaneously malfunctioning brain, depression and anxiety are mostly being caused by events in our lives. If you find your work meaningless and you feel you have no control over it, you are far more likely to become depressed. If you are lonely and feel that you can’t rely on the people around you to support you, you are far more likely to become depressed. If you think life is all about buying things and climbing up the ladder, you are far more likely to become depressed. If you think your future will be insecure, you are far more likely to become depressed. I started to find a whole blast of scientific evidence that depression and anxiety are not caused in our skulls, but by the way many of us are being made to live.’

If you look at the examples that Johann has given, they all ultimately stem from lack of choice to control the events in one’s own life, inciting the emergence of negative thinking patterns and as a result, the likelihood of depression.

Further to this, an article from the NCBI called Born to Choose: The Origins and Value of the Need for Control states, ‘Belief in one’s ability to exert control over the environment and to produce desired results is essential for an individual’s well being. It has been repeatedly argued that the perception of control is not only desirable, but it is likely a psychological and biological necessity.’  

‘The desire for control is not something we acquire through learning, but rather, is innate, and thus likely biologically motivated. We are born to choose. The existence of the desire for control is present in animals and even very young infants before any societal or cultural values of autonomy can be learned. It is possible that organisms have adapted to find control rewarding – and its absence aversive – since the perception of control seems to play an important role in buffering an individual’s response to environmental stress.’ 

In conclusion, the traumas that cause depression seem to have a commonality of a breach or the lack of a fundamental human need – choice and control over the events of one’s own life, past, present and future.

Trying to make sense of it all

Contrary to popular belief reality is not a mere string of random events, seeing is far from believing, and belief is a bias just as any other fallacy that we uphold. By our mistaken view that life is and end to a means, and that reason is a result rather than a presence shared in relevance we perpetuate the lunacy of our reality, and deny

By our mutual consent we empower the notion of delayed reward, of winning as a viable objective, and victory as an end to a means.

As a collective consciousness the issue of who’s to blame and why is irrelevant. Our unmitigated support of the fabricated fallacy we founded on a litany of half truths and fear has bequeathed us a reality that consider freedom of choice as a basic human right, but what the choices are that matter nobody knows, and those they say don’t.

Reality is a resonance of relevance. A mutual present sense we share intent to clear and present view. In light of the view that no one ever told you, or someone told you the end is neigh and promised you salvation in exchange for a bowl of lentil soup, you are the least to blame for what happened in the past.

Just as much as self-fulfillment has no relation to success, recognition, accolade or social norm, the value of your worth has nothing in common with your social profile, currency or coin.

But as the mounting proof of evidence refute all of the biased perspectives and conform to mutual common sense we are slowly waking up to what is real, who is right, and what is wrong.

So here is why I feel myself entitled to question your choice when I have no incling of the burden you bear, no insight to he sorrow you know, and hold no veneration to the regrd you demand. Because I care to see a reality shared in serendipitous wonder by all.

Fretting about fear, suffering the anguish of guilt and shame or bearing the brunt of blame seem hardly worth living, but explain why the pervasive mood of our society lack of flow, and why you yearn for something desperate, but all you need is some fun and play.

Living life well is much less serious than what we have been led to believe. Much more rewarding than what we can possibly conceive, and infinitely more satisfying in the serendipitous flow of a presence shared, just as nature intend all along.

Choice

We are nothing but

the resultant factor of our choices!

Let us not stop prioritize ourselves

for the choices of others.

Treat yourself with the

ultimate form of dignity

and love that you are capable of.

Let the amorous self love

make you a far more beautiful person

that you have ever imagined of.

You Are Being Presented With A Choice

You Are Being Presented With A Choice

You are being presented with a choice: evolve or remain. If you choose to remain unchanged, you will be presented with the same challenges, the same routine, the same storms, the same situations, until you learn from them, until you love yourself enough to say “no more”, until you choose to change. If you choose to evolve, you will connect with the strength within you, you will explore what lies outside the comfort zone, you will awaken to love, you will become, you will be. You have everything you need. Choose to evolve. Choose love.

 

Is Love A Feeling? Or Is It A Choice?

Is Love A Feeling Or Is It A Choice

I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and my teacher asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers so naturally, we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort. She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice. Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation.

The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with. The divorced ones said they chose to walk away. Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days.

You Are Being Presented With A Choice: Evolve Or Remain

You Are Being Presented With A Choice Evolve Or Remain

You are being presented with a choice: evolve or remain. If you choose to remain unchanged, you will be presented with the same challenges, the same routine, the same storms, the same situations, until you learn from them, until you love yourself enough to say “no more”, until you choose change. If you choose to evolve, you will connect with the strength within you, you will explore what lies outside the comfort zone, you will awaken to love, you will become, you will be. You have everything you need. Choose to evolve. Choose love.

To The Man I Thought To Be The Right Choice

I know, I know I should stop and I swear I’ll stop, but there are lots of things I would like to say to you that, for many reasons, I haven’t said to you yet. I don’t think I’ll have another chance so here it is, hoping you won’t hate me for the umpteenth letter.


No, don’t worry, I’m not going to shove the truth down your throat, this an easier and calmer truth.

I’m starting from that one beer you’ve offered. I’d really like to say yes to go out with you and drink that beer, you almost convinced me to go. But I couldn’t let you win because I know how it would have gone for me: I would have felt in heaven with you at the same table as me, chatting in front of that beer and then? Pain. Again. So, no. Thank you. I didn’t want to fall apart again. Saying yes would have been masochistic.

You love speaking by metaphors, that’s one of the things I’ve always liked about you (yeah, I know there are only a few things I don’t like) and I’ve always understood the meaning. Dunno what makes you specify those were metaphors, ‘cause every time you point it out I had already replied with the same metaphor in a more complex way.

Moreover, thank you for pushing me saying I have control on myself. I want to really thank you because, yeah, I know I have control but I lost the strength to do it. I lost it but now it’s back again and it pisses me off giving you this value, too!


We all have the control on everything and, as you told me, you had the control on that Friday night but there wasn’t the strength to keep it there. I think that’s because we right off chose not to put limits or control on us: we didn’t need them.

I know you think you’ve been disrespectful and you’ve taken advantage of me and my body, especially that night, but get it out of your mind. You’ve always been so respectful of me, I’ve never thought you took advantage of me ‘cuz I’ve always been fine. Everything you’ve done, be sure, I wanted more than you did.


Whatever you’ve done to me, from making me smile to making me cry, I’ve let you do it.

Stop thinking the world would be better without you, stop thinking you don’t deserve a future, hope or other bullshit like “I’m a damage”, you know you’re wrong, you live in this world. At this moment, I know you’re not living but surviving resigned, taking whatever you can get but, if this world looks like this, it is also thanks to you, to your life, your websites and, sooner or later, thanks to your music.


I saw you, I saw the real you and I know you’re not this kind of person, you’re more than this like I’m more than barf and tears. You know you’re not like the others, but you say it as you want to humble yourself instead of keeping it as your key-strength.

The truth is you’re like one of the best person I’ve ever met, in spite of everything. As I told you, if you were like the others, I wouldn’t have been here for so long, writing to you again, after all this time and, fuck off, I shouldn’t have let you make me cry or laugh.


I don’t think you consider me like the others and maybe that’s why you never grow tired of repeating “you’re incredible”, always making me smile.

I should tell you to go and fuck yourself, I should hate you, block you out, erase you. That’s what people want me to do, but I won’t because I’m incredible.


I won’t hate you.
I won’t fuck you off.
I won’t forget this year with you, it was so damn beautiful ‘cause you’re incredible, too.

So, I’ll always keep you with me, with John Mayer reminding me of you with his perfect songs and chords.
I won’t block you on socials because, even if it looks like a cinch, seeing your likes or comments through my notifications makes me feel better, esteemed.

I’ve never given a shit about what people say, except if it was you, in real life as much as on socials.


I won’t block you on WhatsApp and I won’t delete your chat because, maybe, one day, you’d like to have a beer, a muffin or easily bringing me back in your own life or, maybe, you’d like to be yourself again without a struggle.