The Psychology of Healthy Habits

Most people encounter at least one serious downward spiral in their lives. Making us shake our heads in disbelief, questioning ourselves: How could this happen to me? Why am I stuck in this situation? What (else) can I do to achieve different results?

This point in life can catch us fully unexpectedly when we thought we had it all together, or just living our everyday life normally with no major problems when things start to happen to the contrary.

When things just don’t improve

One obstacle follows another, developing into a series of harsh realities which you can’t seem to tackle or overcome like you used to. You have a weird feeling that this is different now… Something unusual is happening, perhaps you aren’t sure why, just feel like you cannot muster enough strength to come out of the situation. Certainly not very fast or maybe not alone at this time. Doesn’t matter how much of a hero you thought you were before. Right?

The answers and solutions may vary to such an emotionally intense phase in your life and it can happen that you are left without answers. It might sound cliche, but this is life, and we don’t always have the answers we need. And while time certainly helps you come out of it, what really matters is what you are doing during that time to enhance your life and overcome it successfully. 

Sometimes, ongoing or repeated negative scenarios, such as accidents, losing loved ones, breaking up, failing at your career, suffering an unexpected condition, or any shocking experience you might come across seem like dead ends, blocking you from advancement. 

We would think no such obstacles shall arise. So when they happen, especially in a row, can cause us great turmoil, not seeing the way out, and eventually losing faith in ourselves, the world, or the given scenario. 

How to readjust…

Life keeps moving and changing so you might as well sit down and replan.

You’ll need paper and a pen or just type on your computer. Make sure you jot your thoughts down for real change to occur. You need to list all the things you feel haven’t worked out the way you wanted on the left side, and the ideal outcome on the right. Make sure you take enough time and space to rethink and readjust your life. It gets inevitable in the long run anyway. 

Carefully think over the positive outcomes you would like to see in your relationships, the way you seize opportunities, and the missing puzzle to meet your needs. Believe that you can achieve greater results and the right people and tools will appear when necessary because you want to change badly enough and you tenaciously work to achieve your goals. 

Remember: If you try to do your best, there is no failure.

Here are some ideas on how to overcome obstacles and create a plan that works:

1. Make it a habit: Focus on your goals rather than actions

When you focus on your goals rather than your actions, you can achieve the desired results faster as you don’t get caught up in the process. Focusing on your aims also means slowing down your mind, not stressing, or overthinking what might go wrong. 

Take action quickly: minimize the time between your thoughts and actions. You have a bigger chance to benefit from your initial thoughts if you make them happen instantly.

2. Respect your time and find space to recharge your mind, body, and spirit 

Plan a balanced schedule, block out enough time for your mind, body, and spirit. Eat well, sleep and move enough, spend adequate time on fresh air walking, or exercising.

Keep your physical surroundings organized: as within so without. Declutter your home, social circles, schedule, make room, and focus on the most important people, events, and things. Always dedicate enough time to recharge your batteries, be it time with friends or alone. Take good care of yourself, not just others. Select who is really worth your time and care. Only take on as much as you can responsibly undertake. 

3. Save energy, time, and money for things that truly matter 

Save your energy, time, and money for things that truly matter to you and to those close to you. Always think long-term, and remind yourself that the length of our lives and resources are limited here. Focus on self-development, learn and train yourself if needed and strive to positively affect society.

4. Be more selfless

Be willing to help others, and try not to focus only on what’s in it for you.  At the end of the day we are social creatures, and the most rewarding thing you can do is something that makes others happy. If we all strive to become less selfish, the entire society becomes better. The better person you get, the greater things are likely to happen to you. Ask yourself where you could be more generous, trustworthy, and respectful with others? Reward people for their efforts and quality work. 

5. Open new doors but maintain healthy boundaries 

Always work on fostering your relationships and widening your social circle. The more new avenues you build with people, the richer your life gets. If you encounter toxic people, set and maintain healthy boundaries. Apply the “three times rule,” if something really bothers you. If you need to ask someone to change an unpleasant behavior more than three times, consider distancing yourself from the person and see if they can improve. Remind yourself that anyone can have a bad time; before you do something you think you would regret, don’t do it. Give it a few days. Your future self will thank you.

6. Don’t give up working toward what makes you happy 

Neglecting your true essence and desires, or giving up on your needs can cause great distress. Whether you do it as self-neglect or you think you are doing it for the sake of someone else. Deal with any disturbing thoughts the earliest possible; the longer you let it affect you, the bigger the problem gets. This is the best way to avoid sabotaging yourself. It doesn’t matter how frightening that discussion, action plan, and taking the necessary action might seem. Get it done.

Re-evaluate your situation before quitting

Know that you have the power to create your desired life circumstances and make the necessary changes if you are to become a better person and improve your daily habits. 

Don’t worry, just do your best; the fruits of your efforts often materialize at the very last minute, only testing your patience. Think twice, before you quit your work, relationship, or anything you deem valuable. Oftentimes it is worth fighting for, for reasons you don’t yet see.