The Disappointment Effect – MIND TALK

disappointment

Again, I end up alone behind the doors I close on myself. Sometimes I seriously can’t figure out one reason why I choose this even when I don’t want to.
I’m always relieved though, to have this bit of sanity that stops me from believing that I let fear control me every time, then only in those moments that I’m completely out of my mind, I come to face the fact that I’ve tried everything from making peace with fear to running away from it, and even being completely fearless at times but nothing seemed to be satisfying enough.
 
But now I know why I reached this point, why I’m stuck in it no matter how many times I try to leave, and why it hurts so much to even try to leave. It’s because I’ve had a share of disappointments more than I could possibly take. And what hurts most about this is when you keep believing in those who disappoint you, when you refuse to give up on them, when you keep holding on to the hope that they will realize the damage they’ve done and they’ll try to fix it, but you just end up disappointed again and again, and again.
 
What if you’ve tried everything whether to blame them for it or just let them see it for themselves and none of it mattered? What if you care about them so much and you can’t walk away?
And in some insane moments, when you’ve really exhausted every option, you will sit back and laugh about it with tears streaming down your face because you’re usually the one who gets ridiculously hurt only because you care so much.
 
Sometimes it ate me away, that fear of getting disappointed all over again, because there’s only so much I can take right?! And then I would unintentionally hurt the ones I love the most, or even the only ones who are truly there for me, just because the pain is so overwhelming. I find myself still forced to run and hide behind the walls I try to build, and after all that as soon as I catch a glimpse of hope I chase it like a fool and, you know, nothing. You kind of get used to it too, and even that doesn’t make it any better. There are times when you even get disappointed in yourself. 

There came the hardest truth, that the best of me could simply be the worst, for I couldn’t have imagined it would get me nowhere in this world unless it’s accompanied by pain, loss, and frustration. I had no idea that constantly trying to fix things was going to break me to pieces, and also hit me again just as I put the pieces back together.

You see, sometimes you give all that you’ve got, and somehow you’re the one who gets left behind, desperately searching for a way out in some comforting truth, or even learning how to live without peace of mind. 
And as sad as it sounds, what makes you special is what gets you hurt.
Sometimes a curse lies within the gift. 

  • Nada Mohamed

You can follow more of her works
on her blog – Attraversiamo
or her Facebook Page  – Little Things 

A series devoted to our readers. Does your Mind do a lot of thinking too ? Do you have questions to ask ? A Poem, A question, an article or any thought that wants to be shared. Pour them here. Click the Submit button and we will publish it on our Site. Why let that thought Sink ? Let it be free Write on.. 🙂 Let the Mind Talk Begin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

— Follow Us —

Up Next

Forgiveness After The Storm

Forgiveness After The Storm

The muse of poetry in its depths stalls the ensue of thee,Drowning in the sparse spectacle of hope left, one dives into the waters of misery.Triabilsing in the painful stance of existence, death in its allure creeps behind,To be or not be in the bane of tormenting breaths, in their truth one seems to find,

The hostility that binds, convulsion in its gloating flair laughs hysterically at the corpse of being,Dreariness to live in its slow burn writhes the only ounce of light left to see.The void of embracing the freshness of unadulterated air forges to question the beauty,Of living a life that could lead in the lightness of radiance and the smiles of unbridled glee.

The trueness of being lapses in the oscillation of turbulence and the sea of calm,Yet the tides of uncertain syllables that breed animosity render the sou

Up Next

Beyond Materialism: The Psychological Motivations Behind Retail Therapy

Beyond Materialism

Most people can understand the happiness that comes from purchasing something for oneself when we talk about needing some retail therapy. Can shopping truly improve our mood? Clinical psychologist Scott Bea, PsyD, affirms that shopping can have psychological and therapeutic benefits as long as it is done in moderation, according to research. Engaging in shopping activities, whether online or in person, can provide a psychological and emotional boost. Even just browsing can bring happiness, but it’s important to be mindful of your spending habits. Dr. Bea outlines various explanations for the phenomenon.

Shopping helps to regain a feeling of power or authority

Research demonstrates that engaging in shopping activities can help individuals feel more in control of their

Up Next

Mind Over Met Gala: Analyzing the Intersection of Fashion and Mental Health in 2024

Mind Over Met Gala

The most confidential information about the 2024 Met Gala, which will take place on the first Monday in May, is now known. A total of 250 objects, many of which have never been seen in public before, will be on display in the Costume Institute’s “Sleeping Beauties: Reawakening Fashion” exhibition at The Metropolitan Museum of Art in 2024. Before the much-awaited event, Vogue is compiling all of the information we currently know.

What theme will the 2024 Met Gala have?

The official dress code for the 2024 Met Gala is “The Garden of Time,” in honour of the Costume Institute’s upcoming exhibition, “Sleeping Beauties: Reawakening Fashion.” About 250 rare objects from the Costume Institute’s permanent collection will be on display. The designs, which span more than 400 years of f

Up Next

The Aesthetic Epidemic: Understanding the Roots of Lookism

The Aesthetic Epidemic

We care about more than just ourselves – we care about our loved ones, our communities, and the world around us. We are affected by tragic events, especially when a child is murdered, regardless of where it happens. It deeply impacts us and makes us feel disheartened. Moral evils raise doubts about the goodness of the world and the value of existence, especially for those who believe in a benevolent deity. However, anyone can contemplate the purpose and value of the universe in light of such evils. We may not need to worry about the value of the Universe and instead focus on finding value in our own lives or the lives of our loved ones. The concept of value is subjective and can be created by us.

The important question is what we should value or find pleasure in. Some people may try to ignore moral evil by focusing only on their own lives and loved ones, but this narrow perspective is unsatisfying for most. I

Up Next

An Open Letter To The Hustlers

An Open Letter To The Hustlers

To be or not to be, to go all in or to unwind and relax, we question our dreams, running in constant chase of our quests to come true, we are the ones who never sleep. Dreamers we are called, the ones who passionately strive in the endeavours of the best they could ever be, here is a letter to me, a letter to you. In the stride of embracing the best you have ever been, nurture your soul before the onset of the abundance in you that lies unseen.

Too bold, too much for your age, you are doing too much, how often have you heard these notions been used to describe you? As we tirelessly strive to achieve the next goal we have in our mind, we are often told that we are being hard on ourselves, to enjoy life a little. Life in its entirety passes by us in its dynamic flair, and the existence we envisage holds unique individuality to each one of us. The choices one makes for themselves belies them and them only, and t

Up Next

How To Remain Centered And Calm In Face Of Difficulty

disappointment

My life is a mess and I have nothing to be grateful about! I witness myself say this phrase from time to time, where life plonks us into the desperation of ebb and flow of wilderness and things not going in our favour.

It is easy to say we are grateful and in complete balance when things are going well and life feels like the warm embrace of the sun shining on a Sunday morning. But the real test lies in remaining grateful and centred when life feels like spinning out of control.

While it is easier said than done, here are some reminders that might help you get through the days that feel like a burden –

1) This too shall pass, no moment in time that feels permanent loses its impermanence. We often lose hope when things don’t go our way and during these sad days, we should remember, that t

Up Next

15 Most Liberating Thoughts For Someone Who Needs It

disappointment

Our life unfolds in a succession of revelations of who we are. It is when we sit down and repeat the same sentence in our head over and over again, in every action we perform, every activity we indulge ourselves in, does it indulges into our existence as a habit.

The key to having a sense of liberation is allowing life to flow through, not forcing anything and more essentially not resisting change. I believe that our life improves in the direct proportionality of how often we are exposed to situations where are forced to challenge our age-old beliefs and counterfeited perceptions and seek the greater version of ourselves. When we get too comfortable in the comfort zones we build for ourselves, we do not grow into the people we are meant to be. Sadly most people embrace change only when metamorphosis is the less painful and only possible option.

I know that