How Each Zodiac Sign Interrupts You

Interrupting you….

Aries: randomly exclaims “Oh my god!”, you ask what’s up, they say “Oh…Nothing”
Taurus: pretends they see someone they know and uses it as an excuse to leave
Gemini: was never listening, but a joke popped into their head that they think you’d find funny
Cancer: zones out, returns to their body, and realizes they need to be alone
Leo: their alarm to buy concert tickets goes off
Virgo: does some clever-but-not-funny wordplay on what you just said
Libra: blurts out that all your friends have been planning a surprise birthday party for you
Scorpio: asks you point-blank if you hate their new partner
Sagittarius: remembers an anecdote that’s tangentially related to the story you just started telling
Capricorn: runs out of intelligent takes to offer and changes the subject
Aquarius: feels uncomfortable when the topic gets too deep
Pisces: gets déjà vu and starts telling you about a very intricate dream

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How Zodiacs Are Recharging Themselves

Recharging…

ARIES: flees into the woods for a few days to get the zoomies out

TAURUS: lathers on SPF 100 and basks in the sun until they doze off

GEMINI: fills an entire journal in one sitting and publishes it as a bestselling memoir

CANCER: goes skinny dipping under the moonlight and pretends they’re in a Lana Del Rey music video

LEO: goes window shopping for a present to give themselves

VIRGO: gets stressed curating an itinerary for their self-care day

LIBRA: rearranges their entire roo

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Loving Them Is Like: Know How It Feels To Love These Zodiac Signs

Loving them is like…

ARIES: Tandem skydiving

TAURUS: sleeping beneath a weighted blanket

GEMINI: Speaking a secret language nobody else can understand

CANCER: trying to coax a stray cat out from under a dumpster

LEO: having a lap dog

VIRGO: walking a tightrope

LIBRA: looking in a mirror

SCORPIO: playing chess against a bot

SAGITTARIUS: watching the same standup comedy routine o

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As Green Things As Per Zodiac Signs

As green things…

ARIES: sour apple 4Loko

TAURUS: fresh local microgreens

GEMINI: a tequila-soaked lime

CANCER: Ivy crawling up a brick wall

LEO: cash

VIRGO: green tea

LIBRA: sea glass

SCORPIO: the Northern Lights

SAGITTARIUS: a snake

CAPRICORN: the Grinch

AQUARIUS: texts from an Android

PISCES: swamp algae

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Tactless Behavior Of The Zodiac Signs

Tactless behavior…

ARIES: walks into an art museum and says “I could have painted that”

TAURUS: goes into your room and borrows your clothes without asking

GEMINI: drops by your house without texting first because they saw the lights on

CANCER: judges strangers’ outfits aloud as if they’re in a fashion show

LEO: proposes at someone else’s wedding

VIRGO: scrolls through your photos when you try to show them just one

LIBRA: doesn’t actually break up with you, you just hear through the

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Personal Motto Of Each Zodiac Sign

Personal motto…

ARIES: it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission, but it’s best to ask for neither

TAURUS: if it ain’t broke, use it over and over again till it is

GEMINI: even if they’re hating, at least they’re talking

CANCER: if I can’t go in sweatpants, then I’m not going

LEO: if at first, you don’t succeed, give up

VIRGO: nobody’s perfect-believe me, I’ve noticed

LIBRA: peace, Love, Unity, Respect, Charming your way out of having to take responsibility

SCORPIO:

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How Terrifying Are The Signs?

How TERRIFYING are the signs?…

Aries: I mean they’ll love you and all but don’t do shit like force them to love you. They will slap you right the fuck everywhere.

Taurus: Not very scary but will do shit when needed. Pat their heads and play games with them.

Gemini: Bro you don’t fuck with Geminis they seem p chill at first but damn they can shoot OPTIC LAZERS FROM THEIR FUCKING EYES.

Cancer: Cancers are CHILDREN they are CRABBY LIL FUCKS but they are only scary a little bit. Probably their vocab is the most terrifying.

Leo:<

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Different Zodiac Signs Are Crushing On Different People

Crushing on…

ARIES: anyone they can’t have

TAURUS: their long-term partner

GEMINI: anyone who can successfully outwit them

CANCER: yet another emotionally unavailable air sign

LEO: anyone who talks to them for more than 20 minutes

VIRGO: anyone who makes them feel needed

LIBRA: literally everyone

SCORPIO: their boss

SAGITTARIUS: themselves

CAPRICORN: their best friend

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How Each Zodiac Sign Interrupts You