NO SLEEP SQUAD
NO SLEEP SQUAD
How To Keep The Signs Interested
Aries: Plan exciting activities and be open about your feelings.
Taurus: Create a cozy atmosphere and appreciate good food.
Gemini: Engage in interesting conversations and try new experiences.
Cancer: Show affection and connect on a deep level.
Leo: Pay attention and make them feel special.
Your immature side can't resist
ARIES: A good Triple Dog Dare
TAURUS: Faking sick so you can watch movies in bed all-day
GEMINI: Teasing your friends about their crushes
CANCER: Passive-aggressively slamming doors
LEO: Acting out when you're not getting enough attention
VIRGO: Saying "I told you so"
LIBRA: Asking for permission before doing anything
SCORPIO: Pushing people's buttons just to get a reaction
ARIES: People who come on way too strong
TAURUS: Self-described empaths
GEMINI: Micro-celebrities with podcasts and Twitter followings
CANCER: People who remind you of one (or both) of your parents
LEO: Unavailable ones
LIBRA: People who have no personality aside from being tall and dressing well
SCORPIO: People your close friends have complicated histories with
Announces your relationship by
ARIES: Posting a carousel of pictures they took of you in bed with the caption (ring emoji)
TAURUS: Carving your initials into a tree
GEMINI: Casually referring to you by your first initial in their newsletter
CANCER: Inviting you to a dinner with their parents
LEO: Commissioning an oil portrait of yours
VIRGO: Subtly slipping your name into a vent session
LIBRA: Taking you to a party in coordinating outfits
Where you meet your soulmate
ARIES: Outside a bar (you both got kicked out)
TAURUS: The gym you both attend solely for the sauna
GEMINI: The bathroom line at a rave
CANCER: The cookbook section at the local library
LEO: The dating app you always refused to download
VIRGO: An early-morning yoga class
LIBRA: A black tie cocktail party
SCORPIO: At a spiritual retreat
SAGITTARIUS: A f
Why they got rejected
ARIES: Made out with someone else to make their crush jealous.
TAURUS: Crush saw their notes app note full of baby names for their future children.
GEMINI: Shared too much niche serial killer knowledge.
CANCER: Their type is "emotionally unavailable".
LEO: Asked their crush to delete their ex's number on the first date.
VIRGO: Kept psychoanalyzing their ex.
LIBRA: Flaked too many times.
SCORPIO: Ignored their crush at the party a
Types of friends …
ARIES: Offers to fight your ex even though you insist you're still friends.
TAURUS: Really good at giving hugs, even though their advice is questionable.
GEMINI: Always name-drops their other "friends" who you've never met.
CANCER: Expects you to read their mind and resents you when you don't.
LEO: Is a little too eager to validate all your questionable decisions.
VIRGO: They're not judging you, but they're judging you.
LIBRA: Cancels plans with