SANTA: WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS?
ME: 5 BILLION DOLLARS.
SANTA: COME ON NOWโฆ BE REALISTIC. THAT’S A HARD WISH TO FULFILL.
ME: OKAY. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO STOP OVERTHINKING.
SANTA: WHICH BANK DO YOU WANT THE MONEY DEPOSITED IN?
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Accidentally used the dog’s shampoo today and I’m feeling like such a good girl.
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People who use ‘hmm’ during chat, please go talk to cows.
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Eating a meal without watching something feels so illegal.
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Do You Like Me? Yes or Yes
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Dudes will be like”You didn’t deserve to be hurt like that, you deserve to be hurt like this.”
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I drive home so quickly after work like I’m late for the house.
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At some point, you will find someone who is obsessed with you and wants all your time.
That person will be your manager at work
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