How To Deal With The Zodiac Signs
Never Believe in 3 People: Sagittarius. Aries. Pisces. They are the most selfish and mean.
Never Lose 3 People: Taurus. Cancer. Capricorn. They are the most sincere and true lovers.
Never Leave 3 People: Virgo. Libra. Scorpio They can keep secrets, friendship, and they can see your tears.
Never Reject 3 People: Leo. Gemini. Aquarius. They are true, loyal and honest friends.
Who you’re mad at today
ARIES: The person using your favorite treadmill at the gym
TAURUS: An ex you haven’t spoken to in years, but just remembered something annoying they did
GEMINI: The author of the book you’re
If you want to date them, don’t…
ARIES: Neg them
TAURUS: Insert yourself into every aspect of their life
GEMINI: Deprive them of the chase
CANCER: Try to drill through their emotional walls
LEO: Take them for granted
VIRGO: Put on a show to impress them
LIBRA: Ask for personal space
SCORPIO: Play games
SAGITTARIUS: Make them your only priority
Fantasies
ARIES: Creating an army of clones so you can achieve all the things you could achieve if you just had more time
TAURUS: Lounging on a velvet throne while your celebrity crushes feed you grapes and fan you with palm leaves
GEMINI: Possessing infinite knowledge about every subject
CANCER: Therapy is free and everyone learns to talk about their feelings
LEO: Your version of reality actually becomes reality
VIRGO: The apocalypse wipes out everyone you find annoy
Loving them is like
ARIES: Tandem skydiving
TAURUS: Sleeping beneath a weighted blanket
GEMINI: Playing chess against a bot
CANCER: Falling asleep in the back of the car after a long family road trip
LEO: Petting a spoiled and unpredictable cat
VIRGO: Walking a tightrope
LIBRA: Looking in a mirror
SCORPIO: Trying to coax a stray cat out from under a dumpster
SAGITTARIUS: Watching the sam
Falls in love with anyone who
Aries – Seems completely uninterested
Taurus – Is the same general type as their ex
Gemini – Seems a little too intense but in a fun way
Cancer – Is very obviously going through it
Leo – Is hot enough to make good arm candy without overshadowing them
Scariest when
ARIES: Wielding their kitchen knife a little too carelessly
TAURUS: Prematurely woken from a nap
GEMINI: You realize how little you actually know about them
CANCER: Inviting you house-hunting for your third date
LEO: Their crush is paying more attention to you than them
VIRGO: Their favorite pens start to go missing
LIBRA: Switching from talking shit to being fake-nice in one second
SCORPIO: Pocke
ARIES: Realizes they packed six swimsuits but no clean underwear
TAURUS: Hurries inside the house without helping unpack the car so they can claim the best room
GEMINI: Somehow knows about all of the local attractions and town lore
CANCER: Picks up everyone’s wet towels because their name is on the Airbnb rental
LEO: Gets tipsy at 3 pm and tries to rally the group to play drinking games
VIRGO: Blows a fuse plugging in
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