The Pursuer-Distancer Relationship Pattern

The Pursuer Distancer Relationship Pattern

The Pursuer-Distancer Relationship Pattern

If You’re The Pursuer:

• Stop pursuing as frequently to give your partner some space
• Try to be available when your partner pursues you, offer a safe space for them to turn toward you
• Try to meet your own needs or reach out to friends and family to meet some of your needs for connection
• Practice self-soothing when feeling disconnected or frustrated

If You’re The Distancer:

• Practice turning toward your partner and initiating connection
• Share your feelings and express your needs
• Schedule or plan quality time together
• Practice self-soothing when feeling overwhelmed
– Dr. Lauren Fogel
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