How To Deal With Grief: This Old Man Gave An Incredible Reply

How To Deal With Grief 2

How to deal with grief?

Someone on Reddit wrote the following heartfelt plea online:

โ€œMy friend just died. I donโ€™t know what to do.โ€

A lot of people responded. Then thereโ€™s one old guyโ€™s incredible comment that stood out from the rest that might just change the way we approach life and death:

โ€œAlright, here goes. Iโ€™m old. What that means is that Iโ€™ve survived (so far) and a lot of people Iโ€™ve known and loved did not. Iโ€™ve lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I canโ€™t imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But there are my two cents.

Related: The Stages Of Grief: Ways To Cope With Loss and Minimize The Pain

Grief

โ€œI wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I donโ€™t want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I donโ€™t want it to โ€œnot matterโ€. I donโ€™t want it to be something that just passes.

My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I have for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it.

Scars are a testament to life.ย  Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who canโ€™t see.

โ€œAs for grief, youโ€™ll find it comes in waves.

When the ship is first wrecked, youโ€™re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe itโ€™s some physical things. Maybe itโ€™s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe itโ€™s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

โ€œIn the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and donโ€™t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, youโ€™ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over your and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know whatโ€™s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anythingโ€ฆand the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Related: The 5 Stages of Grief at The End of A Meaningful Relationship

โ€œSomewhere down the line, and itโ€™s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at Oโ€™Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come off the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but youโ€™ll come out.

โ€œTake it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you donโ€™t really want them to. But you learn that youโ€™ll survive them. And other waves will come. And youโ€™ll survive them too. If youโ€™re lucky, youโ€™ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.โ€

Thatโ€™s how to deal with grief!!!

Enjoyed the article? Let me know in the comments. Also share it with your friends in grief and help them too.

Related video:

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Person Asks Online For Advice On How To Deal With Grief. This Reply Will Make You Think
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