The Power of Conversation: First Date Tips For A Successful Relationship



A renowned dating coach with a million TikTok followers. She reveals the essential first date tip: Talk about dreams, not the past, to find lasting love.

Karla Elia, a 24-year-old internet sensation with 1 million TikTok followers and a successful relationship coach based in San Diego, has shared her valuable advice for women seeking love. She emphasizes the importance of discussing goals rather than dwelling on the past during first dates.

Elia, who found love and got engaged within six months of meeting her now-husband Dustyn on Bumble, believes that focusing on future aspirations is key to building a meaningful connection.

In a YouTube video for the women-empowerment platform Shera, she stressed, “Don’t talk about your past—talk about your dreams.”

During their initial dates, Karla and Dustyn openly discussed their dreams for the future, including their desired lifestyles, family plans, and preferred locations to live. This approach, centered on shared aspirations, set a strong foundation for their relationship.

First Date Tips for Building a Lasting Connection

According to Elia, knowing what you want in a relationship is crucial. She advises singles to identify their non-negotiables and understand their personality preferences when seeking compatibility.

She has devised a “list of threes” approach to dating, which includes dealbreakers in a partner, desired personality traits, and three essential physical attributes.

Elia explained, “These are all things that you need that are essentials for you to be able to find this man attractive.” This list serves as a guide to help individuals find their ideal partners and ensures they don’t compromise on their standards.

She emphasizes the significance of sticking to these standards, especially in the face of attraction and emotions.

Elia believes that her “list of threes” acts as a compass, guiding individuals toward their perfect match. By knowing precisely what they want, singles can avoid investing time in incompatible relationships.

Elia also identifies certain red and green flags in potential partners. Red flags include sweet talkers, individuals who frequently dwell on their past, or those who invade personal boundaries by snooping through phones.

On the other hand, she looks for “green flags” such as a partner who is reliable, generous, and punctual. She highlights the importance of respecting each other’s time as a sign of a considerate and attractive partner.

In summary, Karla Elia’s dating advice centers on discussing future goals, establishing non-negotiable standards, and utilizing her “list of threes” to find the right match.

Her insights help individuals build meaningful connections and avoid wasting time on incompatible relationships. By focusing on shared aspirations and identifying key traits, singles can increase their chances of finding lasting love.

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