3 Signs You Should Cancel A First Date, Dating Expert’s Advice


Erika Ettin, the founder of A Little Nudge and a seasoned dating coach, has shared valuable insights on when to cancel a first date, based on three crucial red flags. Ettin, who has coached numerous clients in the art of dating, emphasizes the importance of recognizing these signs to avoid potentially unpleasant experiences.

Expert Advice: When To Cancel A First Date

  1. First and foremost, Ettin advises singles to engage in pre-date texting with their potential match to gauge their personality and intentions. During this text exchange, she encourages discussing values, as these are fundamental in the search for a soulmate. Non-negotiable issues such as kids or religion can serve as immediate dealbreakers if they don’t align. It’s a prudent approach to identify any incompatibilities before the date.
  2. Another noteworthy red flag highlighted by Ettin is an excessive focus on sex or oversharing about intimate matters during the texting phase. She recounts an incident where a client’s match delved into the details of his failed marriage, specifically blaming sexual incompatibility. Such oversharing can be off-putting and might indicate a lack of discretion, leading Ettin to recommend reconsidering the first date.
  3. Furthermore, speaking ill of an ex-partner, especially prior to or during the first date, is discouraged by Ettin. It may signify that the person isn’t over their previous relationship, harbors bitterness, or avoids taking responsibility for the relationship’s failure. Such behavior can be a significant turn-off and a potential warning sign.

While Ettin acknowledges the importance of respecting someone’s time and not canceling a date at the last minute, she firmly believes that these three red flags should serve as justifiable reasons to call off the date before it even begins.

Her ultimate advice for dating success is encapsulated in the acronym “NATO,” which stands for “not attached to an outcome.” In other words, she encourages individuals to embrace a laid-back attitude and let things unfold naturally, but without becoming chronic flakes.

In summary, Erika Ettin, an experienced dating coach, offers three key red flags to watch out for before a first date: misaligned values, excessive focus on sex during text conversations, and negative talk about ex-partners.

While advocating a relaxed attitude toward dating outcomes, she warns against becoming a chronic flake. These guidelines can help singles navigate the dating world more effectively.

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