For many of us, after we get out of a toxic relationship, we are left feeling completely hopeless about the future.
Having to let go of hopes and dreams about our relationship, struggling with depression, and truly believing that we will never be happy again is why moving on from a toxic relationship is so difficult.
Many of my clients tell me that they are sure that if they get out of this relationship their future is bleak. They believe that everything that they have lived for will be gone and how can they find anything to replace it?
They feel bad about themselves and they believe that they will never feel good about themselves again and that nobody would ever want to love them. They believe that they were the cause of the toxicity in the relationship and they wonder how things could ever be different in the future.
What I would encourage you to do is realize that this hopelessness after letting go of a toxic relationship is a very natural thing and if you go through the steps you need to go through to get past this breakup, the helplessness will fade and you will get the life that you want.
I promise. I have been there!
One of the biggest side effects of a toxic relationship is that our self-esteem gets shot.
Whether it’s because we feel like we have let ourselves down by staying in a relationship too long or whether it’s because our partner abused us so repeatedly and destroyed our mental well-being, either way, having low self-esteem makes it very hard to move on from a toxic relationship.
What I always encourage my clients to do when they are feeling full of self-doubt after a breakup is to do the things that they need to do to feel better about themselves.
A client of mine was spending all of her time online, looking for articles that would reinforce her belief that her toxic relationship and her ex could be authenticated by other people’s experiences. I told her to give herself a deadline when she would stop doing this because all it was doing was sabotaging her moving forward and definitely not making her feel better about herself.
What she did instead of spending all of her time online was she purchased herself a violin. She had played violin when she was younger and it always brought her a lot of peace. Starting to play the violin again was very self-soothing for her. The more her skills improved, the more her self-esteem grew. Instead of wallowing in her self-doubt, she did something that made her really feel good about herself and, therefore, hopeful for the future.
What would work for you to help you build your self-esteem? I’m sure there are things that you have done in your past that felt good then and that you could take up again to build a future that you want.
Moving on from a toxic relationship is so hard but doing so is also incredibly important.
Having to let go of hopes and dreams, being scared about what is next, being overwhelmed with depression and hopelessness, and be filled with self-doubt are all obstacles to getting past your broken heart and moving forward.
But I promise you, you can do it. I promise that the life that you have always wanted is out there and ahead of you.
My new course, Four Weeks to Letting Go of Love and Moving on, is just the thing to help you take the steps that you need to take to get past the broken heart, to start rebuilding your self-esteem, and to put yourself out there and find the love and the life that you want. You can check it out by clicking this link here.
What I can promise you is that no one has ever died of a broken heart. You will get through this, with a little bit of intention and determination.
You can do it!
Written By: Mitzi Bockmann
Originally Published On: Let Your Dreams Begin