Common mistakes a woman should not make that would ruin their happy relationship.
‘I am so loyal to him. Still, he ignores me.’
‘I have every quality to become his wife. Still, he doesn’t want to marry and keeps on telling me he needs time.’
I have to hear many questions like this from my students. It’s not that I spend a lot of time with them even after class; it’s because they feel comfortable to talk to me, to open their heart out to me. Within a decade of tenure, I have seen my students falling in love, suffering from heartbreak and then moving on with someone else.
Breakups have become pretty common and this trend is unhealthy for our society. Failing in a relationship or seeing their peers suffering from a broken relationship, a lot of people are becoming commitment-phobic these days.
This is hampering their physiological and psychological health too. In turn, it decreases their productivity. To be honest, a relationship doesn’t depend on how much loyal you are to your partner or how much good you are to be a spouse.
These are the base, upon which a relationship is based. But maintaining a relationship is a completely different ball game. Yes, you might be loyal to your partner but if he is ignoring you, there must be some other reasons.
You might be nagging or too nosy or something which irritates him. If he needs time to marry, that means he is having issues living with you or he is having some issues of his own too, which he is probably scared to discuss with you. Communication is necessary.
Both the partners should understand each other. Yes, in a relationship, both the partners can make mistakes. Some people say it to their partners, some don’t.
In this article, I will be talking about the common mistakes a woman makes in a relationship which eventually causes such bitterness that the relationship finally withers away.
Here are 8 mistakes which every woman should be cautious about if she wants to maintain her relationship.
(1) Being a Drama-Queen:
No matter how much a man might enjoy watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S or The Big Bang Theory, he hates drama in his personal life.
Don’t act like a ‘Drama-Queen.’ If you do not like something, tell him openly. If you are scared of something, just say it; don’t scream as if the world is ending right at this moment.
If you are upset, explain it to your partner. To err is human. So it’s okay for your partner to make some mistake. Don’t make a huge issue out of it. Sit together and discuss it.
This will save a lot of your time and energy too and things will be sorted. Don’t ward off your partner by making a scene out of everything.
He will get scared and eventually might leave you because nobody wants to stay in a relationship where one cannot get peace of mind.
(2) Trying to change him:
Didn’t he like the shirt you bought for him? It’s okay. It’s his choice. You want him to keep a long beard but he is not comfortable with it?
Leave it. You fell in love with him like that. So, why do you try to change him? You two fell in love and got committed after knowing each other.
We all have flaws. We are not perfect. I am not. He is not. You are not, either. There might be a couple of things you don’t like about him.
Tell him that and come to a conclusion. If he doesn’t want to change, leave it. Focus on the things which made you fall in love with him. If you try to change him, he is bound to run away. Imagine if he does the same thing with you. Will you not leave too?
(3) Not being confident:
Don’t suffer from the lack of confidence. Men love smart and confident women. You don’t need to be told always how good you look or how intelligent you are.
You are beautiful and intelligent. This is the reason he loves you. Isn’t this enough?
(4) Needing him everywhere:
We all love our partners. But that doesn’t mean they should be with us everywhere. Be strong and independent. Give him his space too.
If you are too clingy or too nagging, he will feel suffocated and I wouldn’t blame him if he calls it a quit. Don’t make him your doormat. Stand with him.
(5) Lying: Men hate liars.
It’s not just about being an infidel. Do not lie to him ever, be it regarding buying a dress or meeting a friend.
If you know he doesn’t like something, then explain it to him; it’s your life. He will understand. You might not tell him but don’t lie.
(6) Bothering your man when he’s with his friends:
People know that you are his beloved. So, don’t keep on calling him when he’s hanging out with his friends. You don’t need to establish your presence there by disturbing him.
If he spends a day with them, let him be. He needs that. Loving doesn’t mean spending each and every moment together. Let him be on his own and he will love you more.
(7) Forcing him to bond with your peers:
We are different. All of us are. We might not like some people. Just because he loves you, that doesn’t mean he will love all your peers. He might dislike some.
Yes, he should be polite but don’t expect him to bond with each and every people in your family and friend circle. Give him that liberty to choose the kind of people he wants to interact with. He will feel comfortable.
(8) Not pampering him but expecting him to do the same:
You love the way he showers you with gifts or buys you ice cream when you are down. He needs some pampering too. He too has his issues and he needs you; a little pampering won’t be a problem.
Perhaps you can make him a good dinner or get him the jersey of his favorite team. He is a human being and he deserves to be pampered too.
It’s easy to get into a relationship but it’s hard to sustain it. Don’t make these mistakes. Then you will see, things are going just fine. Have faith in yourself and in your partner. Just remember these little things and keep loving.