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Avoidant Attachment Style: How To Love And Deal With An Avoidant Partner

Avoidant Attachment

This is where people get stuck in abusive cycles. You can see that the wall is up, but you believe everyone is a good person and you want to get through to get the relationship you want. It’s important to always remember that it’s not your responsibility, and some people are not capable of opening the window.

You may also have a yearning inside of yourself to heal this person. This is where people say that they have attracted their mother or father. You will always attract what you haven’t healed and that’s important to remember. Being able to heal the previous wound will allow you to see the bricks and that person for who they are. You’ll realize it’s not going to work out because this person isn’t ready to evolve.

You need to recognize that you were attracted to this person because this is something you are trying to heal within yourself, or you are attracting this person based on your past experiences. Until you become conscious and healthy and say to yourself that you will not repeat these behaviors over and over again, you will repeat them.

If you are in a good relationship and this person has a tendency to avoid confrontation, there are a lot of things you both need to work on to heal each other, but you each must heal yourself by yourself. You can do things to give them space to heal themselves.

We all come to the table needing to work on things because none of us are perfect. What’s healthy is being able to find someone who is actually working on themselves by themselves. You both are growing together then.

Related: The 3 Types of Attachment: Which One Drives Your Relationship

The biggest thing to recognize is the elephant in the room. If this person is aware they are an avoidant person because of their past when they do become avoidant in a situation, can they come back to the table to handle the feelings and confrontation or do they continue to avoid it? If they continue to avoid it, this is not the person who wants to take responsibility for their actions and improve the relationship, as well as themselves.

Consistency in any relationship is important. It can take years of reinforcement to get there. When you have gone through severe trauma, you’re going to need a lot of reinforcement. You must be patient with someone and give them the space they need, but also know it has nothing to do with you. Holding your boundaries is also very important.


Written By Stephanie Lyn
Originally Appeared In Stephanie Lyn Life Coaching

avoidant attachment style pin
Avoidant Attachment Style: How To Love And Deal With An Avoidant Partner
Avoidant Attachment Pin
Avoidant Attachment Style: How To Love And Deal With An Avoidant Partner
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Stephanie Lyn

Stephanie is a Life and Relationship Coach focusing on healing from narcissistic abuse, codependency, and past wounds. A major part of her teaching is a process called Self-Parenting. This practice is about learning how to become a healthy adult and learning the basic life skills that most of us did not learn growing up. She focuses her attention on teaching the strategies and simple practices to begin reprogramming your inner self. The parts of you that have been damaged from what her clients have experienced throughout their lives. Within her practice she has created a thriving YouTube Channel, Stephanie Lyn Coaching and podcast Heal, Survive, Thrive where people go to learn her teachings and gain the support they need to overcome what they have been through. Stephanie’s philosophies are simple “learn the basic principles you did not learn growing up.”View Author posts