How To Revive A Boring Relationship: 3 Practical Ways

How To Revive A Boring Relationship

Every relationship will get boring after you’ve been together for a while. Love is difficult, it’s not always about laughing and smiling. People tend to fall out of relationships when “the spark” starts fading out. You want somebody to love you and never give up on you, yet even with the best partner things eventually get “boring.”

Relationships get boring. We all wish they wouldn’t, but the fact of the matter is that a little boring – is unavoidable. This doesn’t mean, however, that it’s unfixable. How to revive a boring relationship is all about the small things you do (or don’t do) – and this blog post will show you how you can revive your intimate connection, with just a few simple changes. 

The Secret To A Happy, Long Relationship

Relationship researcher John Gottman is one of the leading experts on why some couples last and others don’t. 

He means that long, happy relationships are about connection and working together. That we need to have realistic expectations of our marriages and relationships and go with “good enough” as opposed to “perfect”. 

In essence, Gottman means that if we still want to hang out with each other, even after years and years together – that that’s pretty fantastic and, ultimately, enough. 

Boring Relationship

One way of how to revive a boring relationship is by adjusting your expectations and looking at the small, simple things that can be done to make it fun again. 

One of these is turning towards each other, as opposed to being away from one another. This means looking for connection even in times of irritation, as well as in times of joy and excitement. 

It may seem too simple or like something you perhaps already do. But there’s always room for improvement, and good, interesting relationships survive because of small things, often, not grand gestures that happen every six months.  

Read: How To Keep The Signs Happy During A Relationship

How To Revive A Boring Relationship By Turning Towards Each Other

Looking for ways to connect in your seemingly mundane week-day routine, can be a great way of revitalizing your relationships, as it mixes things up. 

As a clinical sexologist, I discuss lots of things with my clients besides sex. Below are three examples of common situations I’ve found a lot of couples end up in. They highlight why we all need to constantly work at turning towards each other – in both good and bad times.

1. Ignoring your partner’s boring work story

After a few years, or decades, our partner’s renditions of what Helen at the office did in the lunchroom, yet again, can start to get tedious. 

It’s only natural to fall into a pattern of starting to filter it out once your partner or spouse gets going again. 

The thing is – what Helen did (or didn’t do), matters to your partner. And to show that you don’t care by disengaging and blocking them out is to suck the energy out of your relationship. You don’t mean to, but it happens. 

Instead, try listening to their story, asking questions, and validating your partners’ experiences. Try and see if you can suss out if they’d like feedback or advice – or if they just want someone to nod in agreement and tell them that they’re right and that Helen really needs to get her act together. 

When you take a routine happening, like a boring Tuesday evening work story, and flip it into a moment of connection; you make it interesting, instantly feeling closer and having more fun together!

2. Calling your best friend to tell them the great news

Sharing positive emotions with your friends is important – however, it can be a good idea to make note of how often you do this with your partner too. 

Sometimes we fall into a habit of only sharing boring news with our spouses or partners. We tell them about the problems at work (enter: Helen), and share our worries and concerns about the kids. 

What we forget to do, is revel in each other’s joy. We charm friends and acquaintances at dinner parties – and we can actively work at charming our partner too. If you’re looking for ways how to revive a boring relationship, this is key. 

Next time you get great news or think of a funny anecdote you want to share – call your partner and connect. By doing this, you’re infusing your relationship with positivity, happiness, and humor. This strengthens emotional intimacy.

3. Sitting at opposite ends of the sofa while binge-watching TV

At the beginning of relationships sitting next to each other (or practically on top of each other), while watching TV, is the norm. It seems like we can’t get close enough. 

As time passes, we get comfortable sitting further apart, and before you know it we’re on opposite ends of the sofa, or in separate armchairs. 

This is ok. You don’t have to constantly seek physical contact to have a good relationship.  However – putting your arm around your loved one or holding hands can be a great way of connecting when you’re too tired to talk. 

It’s also a wonderful way of showing love and affection and it simultaneously offers an easy, undramatic way of initiating sex, should you feel in the mood. Next time you’re doing a Netflix marathon session, you might want to try getting close to one another. It doesn’t have to be fancy, sexy, or spontaneous – it just has to happen. 

Read: The Way You Act In A Meaningful Relationship Based on Your Zodiac Sign

Simplicity Is Key

Relationships can go stale over time which is why it’s important to keep remembering to turn towards each other. 

This can be done in lots of ways: 

  • By listening and validating your partner even when what they’re sharing is less than riveting
  • By sharing good news and fun stories along with the tough stuff
  • By being physically affectionate – sexual and otherwise. 

You don’t have to break out the grand gestures and go globe-trotting. When you’re looking for ways of how to revive a boring relationship, keep in mind that the key to less boredom over time, is making a few small tweaks here and there. That’s it. 

Originally Published On: Therapy by Leigh
How To Revive A Boring Relationship Pin

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Up Next

9 Tactics To Trigger The Hero Instinct In A Man

Hero Instinct In A Man: Ways To Trigger Their Inner Hero

Do you know there’s a hero instinct in every man? If you want to unlock that side of your man then you have come to the right place. Today, we are going to talk about how to trigger the hero instinct in a man, and do it the right way.

From understanding their innate drive to protect and provide, to unraveling the mysteries of their emotional landscape, we will explore what is the hero instinct, and what does hero instinct in relationships look like.

So, ready to know more about this side to men? Let’s go then.

Related: How To Make Your Man Happy: 25+ Last Minute Gift Ideas For Him

Up Next

This Viral ‘Bird Test’ Can Predict If Your Relationship Will Last

Unique Bird Test: Can Your Romantic Relationship Pass It?

The “bird test” is a viral TikTok trend and it is a unique way of assessing reciprocation in relationships. So, are you ready to validate (or expose) your relationship? Let’s go!

As users evaluate their significant others with the “orange peel theory” — which measures how willing they are to do small favors for you — another concept has taken hold of the platform recently: the bird test relationship.

So, What Is The Bird Test For Relationships?

Up Next

How To Know If Someone Is Thinking Of You? 10 Psychological Signs

How To Know If Someone Is Thinking Of You? Psychic Signs

Have you ever had that weird feeling that someone is thinking about you, even when they’re not with you? It feels like a whisper in the back of your mind, a subtle but undeniable connection that transcends the physical distance between you two. So then how to know if someone is thinking of you, for sure?

The interesting thing is that, in this curious world of human psychology, there can be many fascinating and psychological signs someone is thinking of you; all you have to do is know what they are.

So, are you ready to do a deep dive into the world of mind-reading (well, sort of). Let’s explore 10 psychological signs someone is thinking of you.


Up Next

6 Minutes To Improve Your Relationship: How To Have Better Communication With Your Partner

Minutes To Improve Your Relationship?

If you are thinking about how to improve your relationship, then you have come to the right place. How to better communicate with your partner? Communication is crucial to building a healthy relationship, and this article is going to talk about that. Let’s explore how to have better communication with your partner.


The three keys to communication are speaking openly, listening empathically, and reflecting back.

We usually skip reflection, so the speaker does not know if they have been heard.

A simple practice of reflection can build this skill.

Does your par

Up Next

6 Key Psychological Truths About Dating Apps

Key Psychological Truths About Dating Apps

Online dating, dating apps, dating sites – all of these things have taken the world by storm and has made dating easier than before. Or has it? This article is going to delve deep into not just the world of online dating and dating sites, but will also talk about the psychological truths about dating apps.

As recently as 15 years ago, internet dating was popularly seen as — to put it delicately — something for losers. Sites like Match, JDate, and eHarmony were in their infancy; the whole idea of finding a partner on the Internet hadn’t really transcended its origins in the personals section of the newspaper.

But with the rise of the smartphone and GPS technology, online dating has lost this stigma and ballooned into a multi-billion-dollar industry. Nowadays, you can treat your cell phone like an all-day singles bar, swiping on Tinder

Up Next

6 Unconventional Relationship Choices That May Seem Weird, But They Do Work

Unconventional Relationship Choices That Actually Work

Unconventional relationship choices, huh? They’re like the hidden gems of the dating world, the rebels of romance, the quirks that keep love alive. Even though traditional relationships have their own appeal and charm, sometimes it’s the unconventional that brings some excitement into our lives.

From open relationships to living apart together, these relationship choices may be frowned upon, but for many people, these are the relationship choices that work the best for them. To each his own, you know.

Such non traditional relationships go against what most people think is normal, however, they show us that l

Up Next

7 Research Backed Relationship Remedies

Research Backed Relationship Remedies

When it comes to dealing with relationship problems, science can prove to be really helpful and can provide you with some substantial research-backed relationship remedies. This article is going to talk about some of the most effective and useful relationship remedies that can make a huge difference to your relationship.

You may think these should go without saying, but in my personal and professional experience, they have not.

7 Research Backed Relationship Remedies

1. Be Quick to Repair Injury

One day, my wife sensed my odd vibe, I didn’t like her asking, and it gr