How To Revive A Boring Relationship: 3 Practical Ways

How To Revive A Boring Relationship

Every relationship will get boring after you’ve been together for a while. Love is difficult, it’s not always about laughing and smiling. People tend to fall out of relationships when “the spark” starts fading out. You want somebody to love you and never give up on you, yet even with the best partner things eventually get “boring.”

Relationships get boring. We all wish they wouldn’t, but the fact of the matter is that a little boring – is unavoidable. This doesn’t mean, however, that it’s unfixable. How to revive a boring relationship is all about the small things you do (or don’t do) – and this blog post will show you how you can revive your intimate connection, with just a few simple changes. 

The Secret To A Happy, Long Relationship

Relationship researcher John Gottman is one of the leading experts on why some couples last and others don’t. 

He means that long, happy relationships are about connection and working together. That we need to have realistic expectations of our marriages and relationships and go with “good enough” as opposed to “perfect”. 

In essence, Gottman means that if we still want to hang out with each other, even after years and years together – that that’s pretty fantastic and, ultimately, enough. 

Boring Relationship

One way of how to revive a boring relationship is by adjusting your expectations and looking at the small, simple things that can be done to make it fun again. 

One of these is turning towards each other, as opposed to being away from one another. This means looking for connection even in times of irritation, as well as in times of joy and excitement. 

It may seem too simple or like something you perhaps already do. But there’s always room for improvement, and good, interesting relationships survive because of small things, often, not grand gestures that happen every six months.  

Read: How To Keep The Signs Happy During A Relationship

How To Revive A Boring Relationship By Turning Towards Each Other

Looking for ways to connect in your seemingly mundane week-day routine, can be a great way of revitalizing your relationships, as it mixes things up. 

As a clinical sexologist, I discuss lots of things with my clients besides sex. Below are three examples of common situations I’ve found a lot of couples end up in. They highlight why we all need to constantly work at turning towards each other – in both good and bad times.

1. Ignoring your partner’s boring work story

After a few years, or decades, our partner’s renditions of what Helen at the office did in the lunchroom, yet again, can start to get tedious. 

It’s only natural to fall into a pattern of starting to filter it out once your partner or spouse gets going again. 

The thing is – what Helen did (or didn’t do), matters to your partner. And to show that you don’t care by disengaging and blocking them out is to suck the energy out of your relationship. You don’t mean to, but it happens. 

Instead, try listening to their story, asking questions, and validating your partners’ experiences. Try and see if you can suss out if they’d like feedback or advice – or if they just want someone to nod in agreement and tell them that they’re right and that Helen really needs to get her act together. 

When you take a routine happening, like a boring Tuesday evening work story, and flip it into a moment of connection; you make it interesting, instantly feeling closer and having more fun together!

2. Calling your best friend to tell them the great news

Sharing positive emotions with your friends is important – however, it can be a good idea to make note of how often you do this with your partner too. 

Sometimes we fall into a habit of only sharing boring news with our spouses or partners. We tell them about the problems at work (enter: Helen), and share our worries and concerns about the kids. 

What we forget to do, is revel in each other’s joy. We charm friends and acquaintances at dinner parties – and we can actively work at charming our partner too. If you’re looking for ways how to revive a boring relationship, this is key. 

Next time you get great news or think of a funny anecdote you want to share – call your partner and connect. By doing this, you’re infusing your relationship with positivity, happiness, and humor. This strengthens emotional intimacy.

3. Sitting at opposite ends of the sofa while binge-watching TV

At the beginning of relationships sitting next to each other (or practically on top of each other), while watching TV, is the norm. It seems like we can’t get close enough. 

As time passes, we get comfortable sitting further apart, and before you know it we’re on opposite ends of the sofa, or in separate armchairs. 

This is ok. You don’t have to constantly seek physical contact to have a good relationship.  However – putting your arm around your loved one or holding hands can be a great way of connecting when you’re too tired to talk. 

It’s also a wonderful way of showing love and affection and it simultaneously offers an easy, undramatic way of initiating sex, should you feel in the mood. Next time you’re doing a Netflix marathon session, you might want to try getting close to one another. It doesn’t have to be fancy, sexy, or spontaneous – it just has to happen. 

Read: The Way You Act In A Meaningful Relationship Based on Your Zodiac Sign

Simplicity Is Key

Relationships can go stale over time which is why it’s important to keep remembering to turn towards each other. 

This can be done in lots of ways: 

  • By listening and validating your partner even when what they’re sharing is less than riveting
  • By sharing good news and fun stories along with the tough stuff
  • By being physically affectionate – sexual and otherwise. 

You don’t have to break out the grand gestures and go globe-trotting. When you’re looking for ways of how to revive a boring relationship, keep in mind that the key to less boredom over time, is making a few small tweaks here and there. That’s it. 

Originally Published On: Therapy by Leigh
How To Revive A Boring Relationship Pin

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

What is a Trophy Husband In Today’s Relationship Dynamics?

Signs of a Trophy Husband: Exploring Modern Masculinity

Most of us are aware of the term “trophy wife”. But have you heard about a “trophy husband”? It is a somewhat new term that is a gender-swapped version of the more popular concept of “trophy wife”. 

In today’s evolving society, where gender roles are constantly being redefined, there’s a rising trend of trophy husbands. These men are not only eye-catching companions but also possess qualities that make them desirable partners. 

Today, let us explore this fascinating concept and understand what is a trophy husband,  the signs to look for, why being a trophy husband is exhausting, and the potential issues that can arise in relationships with them.

What is a Trophy Husband?



Up Next

Feeling Like Roommates In A Marriage? 7 Signs Of Roommate Syndrome And What You Can Do To Change That

Feeling Like Roommates In A Marriage? Signs Spark Is Gone

Are you feeling like roommates in a marriage? You know, that sinking feeling when you realize the spark has fizzled, and your relationship has become more about paying bills and coordinating schedules than love and connection.

The thing is, roommate syndrome is more common than you think, and many couples face this, after being together for a long time. When you are in the roommate phase of a relationship, you might ask yourself why and when the romance disappeared or if you’re both just pretending to be happy.

But that might not be the case. In this article, we are going to look at what is roommate syndrome, the signs of roommate syndrome, and how to deal with roommate syndrome, so that you stop feeling like roommates in a marriage.

So, let’s get started, shall we?



Up Next

Am I In Love Or Just Experiencing Limerence? 5 Signs To Look For

Limerence vs Love? Signs That Differ From True Love

Are you head over heels for somebody or have you plummeted into limerence? Learn the distinction between limerence vs love to make sure that your romantic bond doesn’t turn into a serious addiction.

Limerence is a psychological state that can leave you feeling exhilarated but confused. This state isn’t just another word for love. It has unique properties that differ limerence vs love.

What is limerence vs love?

In simpler words, limerence in a relationship when someone is madly in love with another person. So much so that it affects their mindset and they can’t think of anything else but him/her.

It might not seem too different from love.



Up Next

8 Ways To Upgrade Your Relationship

Ways To Upgrade Your Relationship

Do you feel like your relationship has lost that spark from before? If you answered yes, then you should know that many couples go through this, which is why it’s important to know how to improve your relationship. This article is going to talk about how to strengthen your relationship and upgrade your relationship.

It seems like it should be natural to treat our partners with love, consideration, and respect. Yet, for many people in long-term relationships, the warmth and kindness that were present in the early days of dating can fade over time.

Most people treat their partners with the utmost respect and kindness in the courting stage. The relationship probably wouldn’t have progressed if they hadn’t. Why do so many people present the best version of themselves early on, and over time, treat their beloved partners with disrespect, di



Up Next

5 Ways To Rekindle The Spark In Your Relationship

Ways To Rekindle The Spark In Your Relationship

If you feel that the spark in your relationship is gone, then let me tell you something – you can rekindle the spark in your relationship again! Now the question is, how to reignite the spark in your relationship? How can you make your relationship feel like the olden days again? Let’s find out!

Remember the feelings you experienced when you first started dating your spouse or partner? Perhaps you felt excitement, attraction, and anticipation? As the relationship has progressed, has it been difficult to maintain those initial feelings?

Once life’s responsibilities, careers, kids, and the passing of time are added to the mix, that initial spark can easily diminish if we don’t keep it stoked.

Fortunately



Up Next

How To Deal With Your Partner’s Obsessive Ex? 4 Tips For Successfully Handling One

Deal With Your Partner's Obsessive Ex: Tips And Tricks

Have you ever had to deal with an obsessive ex? Moreover, have you ever had to deal with your partner’s obsessive and toxic ex? If you have, you already know how disturbing it is to go through this. This article is going to talk about some of the best ways to deal with a toxic ex or deal with your partner’s toxic ex.

My friend is happily married to a man who has a child. He is a devoted and loving father who sought full custody of the children; the court denied his petition.

His two children are living with their narcissistic mother who actively alienates the children from their father. His ex was obsessed with him during their short and turbulent relationship. She was deceitful, abusive, controlling, and highly destructive. They hooked up while drunk.



Up Next

Are You Hesitant To Commit? 6 Warning Signs Of Lack Of Commitment In A Relationship And How To Navigate Them

Signs of Lack of Commitment in a Relationship: Red Flags

Do you always find yourself in short-term, casual relationships? Does the idea of committing in a relationship make you nervous? Are you showing signs of lack of commitment in a relationship?

Commitment issues can be a significant barrier to building a healthy and fulfilling partnership, affecting both individuals involved. Today, let us explore what are commitment issues, the signs that may indicate their presence, the underlying causes of commitment issues, and effective strategies to overcome them.

By understanding these factors, you can empower yourself to navigate the complexities of relationships with greater confidence and clarity.

Are You Afraid of Commitment?