How the Sandwich Technique Can Transform Your Relationships

 / 

How the Sandwich Technique Can Transform Your Relationships

“The Sandwich Technique” is a mindful, sensitive communication strategy which everyone (including sensitive people) can use to transform the relationships with their partner, friends, family, and co-workers. 

This technique is not intended to be fake or simply to placate others. Being brutally direct can backfire and make people feel defensive and unable to hear your comments (no matter how useful they are). 

When you use The Sandwich Technique, make requests not demands. Then, when you are communicating about a difficult issue, you sandwich the request between two positive statements. It’s a creative way of presenting challenging topics so that others can hear you. Let’s say you need more alone time. First you could say, “I appreciate all your support and I need your help with this.” Then place your request: “It would be great I can take more alone time to decompress. This will help me be even more present with you later.”

You empower your relationships by expressing your needs. Also, relationships thrive on both people feeling accepted. One patient told me, “My husband accepts me as I am. Through his acceptance I have learned to be true to myself.” 

We all have issues to resolve in relationships no matter how good the match. To do this, we need to have loving, creative conversations. 

4 Tips to Apply “The Sandwich Technique” (From “The Empath’s Survival Guide.”

  1. Focus on a single emotional issue and don’t repeat yourself. We can have many emotional issues going on simultaneously which can be overwhelming for us and others. The best way to communicate is by sharing one issue at a time without repeating it, unless being asked for clarification. My partner says he feels like his brain is being squeezed if I raise too many problems at once, or if I keep repeating myself to make a point. Men, especially, tend to be task oriented, and they like to be helpful. Multiple requests for change make it all seem impossible. 
  1. Don’t take things personally, even when they are personal. This is an important but demanding principle of the spiritual path yet it’s basic to good communication and relationship harmony. Try to be less reactive to comments and more centered so you aren’t triggered as often or as intensely.
  1. Observe the “No Yelling Rule.” Many of us, especially sensitive people, become overwhelmed around yelling and loud voices. Our partners need to understand how unproductive and hurtful this can be. For the sake of self-preservation, I’m strict about this rule in my house. 
  1. Don’t be a people pleaser or try to fix your partner. We become tired when we try to fix others’ problems or keep trying to please them at the expense of our own needs. So, practice loving detachment and set boundaries. For instance, my partner dislikes getting instructions on self-improvement. When he’s going through a hard time, he has trained me to say, “I have faith that you can handle it,” rather than offering suggestions he didn’t ask for. It’s a gift to let others be themselves and face their own difficulties.

         _____

Good relationships are possible for everyone, including sensitive people. They can enhance your sense of security, love, and grounding. Marriage or any kind of sacred union needs to be a competition of generosity. Each person is in service to the other, aiming to deepen their devotion, kindness, passion, and love every day. In relationships, you can learn from each other. Consideration and tolerance is essential. 

(Adapted from The Empath’s Survival Guide by Judith Orloff, MD.)

 

How the Sandwich Technique Can Transform Your Relationships2

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

10 Signs You Are A Rebound And Nothing More

Signs You Are A Rebound And Nothing More

The dating world can sometimes feel like you are on a wild roller coaster ride of emotions, full of exhilarating highs and heart breaking lows. And you might find yourself unknowingly become someone’s rebound. But how do you gauge that? What are the signs you are a rebound, and nothing more?

Being someone’s rebound means being an emotional pit stop for them; it’s like they are taking a short break where they are seeking temporary solace before moving on for good. It’s not a good place to be in, honestly.

Today, we are talking to talk about all those glaring signs you are a rebound, so that it’s easier for you to decide if you want to remain one, or let go and wait for someone who gives you the love and respect you deserve.



Up Next

What Are Yellow Flags In A Relationship? Is Your Relationship Sending Warning Signals?

Identifying Yellow Flags In A Relationship and How To Deal

Have you ever felt a tinge of uncertainty in your romantic relationship? A flickering doubt, a slight unease? Relationships are complex, and it’s normal for them to have ups and downs. However, it’s crucial to pay attention to the subtle yellow flags in a relationship that may indicate potential issues down the road. 

These early warning signs can offer insights into the health and sustainability of a relationship. Let us explore what does a yellow flag mean, how to identify them, and most importantly, how to deal with yellow flags to foster a stronger and healthier connection.

What Does a Yellow Flag Mean in a Relationship?

A yellow flag in a relationship is a cautionary sign that som



Up Next

Mirroring In Relationships: How It Shapes Romance

Mirroring In A Relationship: Examples Of Love And Support

Do you ever feel that you could almost read your partner’s mind, or have you ever experienced the baffling feeling of finishing each other’s sentences? If yes, you must have encountered a mysterious human behavior called mirroring in a relationship.

So, What Is Mirroring Behavior In Relationships?

Mirroring behavior psychology is an unintentional process in which people imitate one another’s actions, gestures, and emotions.



Up Next

8 Questions To Ask Yourself If You Want To Avoid Marrying The Wrong Person

Marrying The Wrong Person? Important Questions To Ask

Picture this: you’re standing at the altar, surrounded by beaming friends and family, moments away from saying “I do” to the person who you thought was your soulmate and the love of your life. But deep down, you can’t ignore the nagging feeling that something doesn’t feel right. Could it be possible that you’re marrying the wrong person?

The fear of marrying the wrong person lingers in the hearts of many, and it’s a fear worth exploring, because this is your life we are talking about. In this article, we’ll dive into eight essential questions that you should ask yourself before taking that leap into forever.

So, grab a cup of coffee, get comfortable, and let’s unravel how to avoid marrying the wrong person.



Up Next

63 Conversation Starters For Deep Dialogues With Your Partner

Conversation Starters For Deep Dialogues With Your Partner

Why conversation starters? Over time conversations with your partner might begin to feel shallow and focused more on the daily grind than topics that actually matter. This is normal. It’s probably not a dangerous red flag that your relationship is about to end, but it is likely unsatisfying and monotonous.

It’s quite easy to reignite the spark with your partner by enjoying deeper and more meaningful conversations just by becoming more intentional in carving out time to talk.

We all know that communication is key to a healthy relationship, but let’s be honest; talking about what’s for dinner or whose turn it is to walk the dog just won’t cut it.

If you’re yearning for a deeper connection, it’s worth dedicating ten to fifteen minutes a day to one of the most important people in your life.



Up Next

8 Celeb Couples That Are Zodiac Mismatches, Yet Perfect Together

Celeb Couples With No Zodiac Compatibility, Only Love

Did you know about unexpected celeb parings, where zodiac compatibility wasn’t relevant. Let’s find out how they make it work!

When it comes to relationships, many people turn to the stars. We’ve seen love work in mysterious ways before, though, and these couples are a prime example. They’re strange because they defy common astrological reasoning

Love is a weird thing that sometimes defies logic. When two people come together and their star signs don’t match up, there’s something special about it.

Below are eight celebrities that challenge what people normally think of zodiac compatibility. Their love is harmonious and long-lasting even with cosmic dif



Up Next

What Does Being Submissive Mean? 9 Warning Signs You Might Be A Meek, Submissive Woman

What Does Being Submissive Mean? Signs Of A Meek Woman

Ever wondered, “What does being submissive mean?” Well, let’s put it this way: it’s like constantly being in the backseat of your life’s car, letting others take the wheel while you navigate the road of existence.

For example, meet Jess. She’s that friend who’s always putting everyone else’s happiness and needs before her own, and she often finds herself getting involved in abusive and unhealthy relationships.

If you relate to Jess and the ways she lives life, then you might be in for a very rude reality check. Because this points to the realm of female submissiveness. Stick around as we uncover nine warning signs that scream, “Hey, you might be more like Jess than you think!”

Related: