“Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.” – Fawn Weaver
Walking down the aisle and getting hitched can be one of the greatest moments of your life. But love is not enough to make a marriage last. You need to work to make it work or you’ll end up getting divorced. Sadly, no one tells us what we need to know, understand and do to make a marriage last and build a loving lasting relationship.
Here’s an honest letter every father should write to their son when they’re getting married.
I’m a man who is in the business of providing relationship advice for men. I encourage and lead other men to improve their intimate relationships. The path I’ve taken to this place has been rocky – and I’ve learned things. My clients and I share a history of spending our early years struggling to know ourselves AND the women in our lives.
I never received a letter from my dad giving me the “Top Secret” information I would need to succeed in my intimate relationships with women. Most men never do. My rocky ride has since smoothed out mostly because of what I’ve learned along the way. I don’t begrudge my dad for not telling me sooner. He did the best he could do and I will always appreciate how hard he worked for me.
Marriage is not the end of romance, it is the beginning.” – Esther Perel
Dear Son, 5 Secrets I Wish I Knew Before Marriage
As your wedding day approaches, I want to give you 5 THINGS to keep close to your heart in your marriage. I didn’t learn these lessons before it was too late for me. Do not make the same mistakes I did!
Before I give them to you, please understand these truths without any self-doubt. KNOW you are worthy of love. KNOW you deserve a life of love, inspiration, and passion. KNOW there will be ups and downs and to expect and embrace them.
And, KNOW that you always have the power to CHOOSE to create good feelings for other people instead of bad ones.
5 secrets to have a happy marriage:
1) She can FEEL your intentions
Your wife has a very special ability to sense negative energy and pressure. She can’t “read your mind”, but she “feels your love”. This “intuition” is widely documented, though many women don’t even trust it themselves. But they WILL react to it. We, men, are so simple, so direct, so “what you see is what you get”. This is why we stink at reading between the lines and taking hints.
This is also why we stink at truly understanding the avalanche of emotions we can cause in our women without even knowing it. It’s obvious that your angry toned, table-pounding, perfectly logical argument will ruffle emotional feathers. What’s NOT obvious is how she FEELS your intentions. Even without a word, if your energy oozes the least bit of resentment, condescension, or judgment – YOU have already declared war. And yes, it’s your fault. Sorry.
The GOOD NEWS is that your wife feels positive intention the exact same way. Positive intention means positive energy which means everything you say and do is coming from a different place – a place of love. Instead of judgment, your intention is acceptance. Instead condescension, your intention is respect. You get the idea. It MUST be true. You MUST be authentic. The results you will see in the tone of your conversations are absolutely mind-blowing! But YOU have to GO FIRST.
I can hear all of your “yeah but” arguments now and already call “bullshit”. There IS a way for you to take more ownership of your energy. You can’t own her reaction or her happiness, but you can do better, BE better – if you WANT to!
2) Don’t ever think she is NOT a sexual woman
If you ever decide your wife is simply not sexual, not physically affectionate, or EVER aroused – you’re wrong. Just like you, she is designed for sexual arousal and sexual pleasure. That’s about where the similarities end.