You Have To Experience The Wrong Type Of Love To Accept The Right Type


You Have To Experience The Wrong Kind Of Love, In Order To Appreciate It When It’s Right

Love is not what we find among the pages of a book, or in the petals of roses and colours of the sky. And most certainly not in words. Love is something within us.

It is necessary that we experience love coming from the utterly wrong person to experience the intensely intimate and heartwarming love that has the capacity to transform you. But do we know what love ideally feels like? Is it fierce passion and attachment to our significant other? Is it about possession?

Our concept of love changes over time as we grow older and our experiences get seasoned. We understand the fine line between infatuation and true love. We understand the difference between compromising and giving in to dictation. We realise the difference between being suffocated by pseudo-love and blooming with a touch of true love.

When I was a teenager, love for me meant pain. 

When I was young, for me love was fierce, love was about obsession and possession. I could not bear another woman laying eyes on him. I couldn’t bother to look at his flaws. I wish he could be a body of perfection, ticking all boxes of an ‘ideal man’ in my opinion. Conflicts were fatuous and never really resulted in any meaningful argument. The love was circumstantial and shallow. I would only love him when he was at his best and hated him to the core when he wasn’t functioning according to my whims.

Love, we called it. But it did not let us breathe. I was choking on his words, we both were crying, breaking, mending, accusing, cursing and fighting the hell of a war with each other. And we both rationalised these to tell ourselves that the truest essence of love is felt when two people pass through hell together. And we started equating love with pain.

When I was an adolescent, love for me was circumstantial. 

When I was a self-discovering adolescent on the fringes of life, love knocked at my door once again, this time disguised as ‘options’. Love was situational. I was ready to fall in love if he checked all the boxes – tall, handsome, smart, humourous, carfree. I would love him if he brought me flowers, wrote me letters, gave me enough attention and care. If he didn’t I had swarms of boys buzzing around me. I could choose another and move on like nothing really happened.

His dedication, his flawless affection, and compromises were the reasons I would commit to him. If he had nothing to give me, I also did not have anything else to give to him.

When I was heading towards my young adulthood, love for me was spontaneous.

When I was slowly approaching my early twenties, love was instantaneous. It felt as if it came off me as freely as my choices. It was “I miss you till I see you the next time.” It was “I have other priorities than you.” But it was more accepting and less judgemental. Love felt a little more genuine and fathomable. Love felt less tried and more natural this time. But it was still restless, apprehensive and unpredictable from time to time.

And then finally I stepped into adulthood and my definition of love changed altogether.

Suddenly love wasn’t explicable anymore. I could not put the feelings into words anymore as it lit my entire entity. It was in laughing together, it was in hugs and in kisses, it was in promises well kept, in being treated with respect. It was all about being the best of each other yet loving the worst of each other. It was about knowing and trading the truth. It was more easy-going and wild. It was free and transformative. It was about building with optimism and looking forward with hope.

Love was no more about insecurity, fear, belittlement and devastating pain. It was rather about a fulfilling journey towards healing each other to the core.

For the first time, I realized why love was initially so harsh on me. It was to teach me a lesson. To prepare me to accept the true face of it. 

After all these years, love was finally about peace.

You Have To Experience The Wrong Kind Of Love, In Order To Appreciate It When It’s Right

— Share —

— About the Author —


Older Comments
1 8 9 10

Leave a Reply

Up Next

How Healthy Relationships Can Improve Your Physical Health

How Healthy Relationships Can Improve Your Physical Health

Healthy relationships are crucial for feeling happy, positive, and also physically healthy. The physical benefits of healthy relationships are a lot, and this article is going to talk about that in detail. Let’s find out the importance of having strong and healthy relationships.

Humans need humans to survive.

It’s no secret that a healthy relationship can bring joy and happiness to your life, but did you know that it can also have a positive impact on your physical health?

From reducing stress levels to boosting your immune system, there are many surprising health benefits to being in a happy partnership. Read on to learn more.

We are social creatures who thrive on strong, healthy relationships with friends, colleagues and family me

Up Next

When You Refuse To Let Go Of Someone You Love, Even When They Don’t Love You Anymore

Why You Should Let Go Of Someone You Love

I get it. You don’t want to let go of someone you love. Even when it’s clear that it’s over. Even when it’s clear that it is time and things will only get worse from here. Yet, you want to hold on just a little longer. But if you truly love someone let them go.

“No! No! It’s fine. It’s absolutely fine. It’s working. Listen to me, I know it’s working. This is normal. Show me a relationship that doesn’t have problems. I will make it work. I know I can. Just give me a little time. Just a little more time. Please, just bear with me for a second here. Please. Don’t take it away from me yet. Please. It’s not time. It can’t be. Will you just listen to me once for god’s sake?”

But deep down you know it in your heart. You just know it. It is screaming at you. And even though you may pretend you

Up Next

7 Warning Signs Of Losing Yourself In A Relationship And How to Rediscover Your Sense of Self

Signs Of Losing Yourself In A Relationship

Are you starting to feel like you have lost yourself in a relationship? Do you have this persistent feeling that you don’t know who you are anymore? You know, that feeling when you are so caught up in someone else’s world, that you forget who you are? Well, these are just some signs of losing yourself in a relationship.

Believe it or not, this is actually quite a common feeling, and lots of people experience this. If you have ever felt like you have lost yourself in a relationship, then this article can be a godsend for you.

Let’s delve into the all those signs of losing yourself in a relationship, so that you can stop yourself from doing so (at least to some extent!). And not just this, we will also talk about what to do when you lose yourself in a relationship. So, are you ready to explore this? Let’s go then!

Up Next

How To Let Go Of Someone You Are Desperately Trying To Hold On To

How To Let Go Of Someone You Are Trying To Hold On To

Do you know what happens when you desperately hold on to someone you really need to let go of? When you hold on to the idea of “us” and refuse to see the reality for what it is? You force the person you love the most in the world to hate you. You compel them to resent you. And in this process, you hurt yourself more than the other person did. This is why it’s crucial that we talk about how to let go of someone you don’t want to lose.

No one wants to let go of love

Especially when it’s the real deal. Especially when you’ve been told you are not worthy of love all your life. And this one person comes into your life and completely changes

Up Next

15+ Quotes From “Bridgerton” That Depict Obsessive Yearning

Best Bridgerton Quotes About Love And Romance

If you like romances and things from the Regency era, these Bridgerton quotes show how obsession can be a form of longing. This Netflix series features several love stories in which the characters experience intense desire and emotions.

Through eloquent dialogues and passionate interactions, “Bridgerton” powerfully reveals the aspirations that motivate its characters.

The series effectively frames the relationship between Daphne and Simon as an embodiment of smouldering attraction while at the same time conveying other major figures’ secretly yearning for each other.

Here are some Bridgerton quotes about love that perfectly sum up obsessive yearning.<

Up Next

TikTok’s Ultimate Couples Psychometrics Test: Which Iconic Pair Are You and Your Partner?

Couples Psychometrics Test: Fun Results Of Fictional Couples

Do you want to explore your relationship dynamics in a fun and insightful way? Take this Couples Psychometrics Test, the newest sensation making waves on social media, particularly TikTok!

Forget zodiac signs and typical personality quizzes; this one goes further to study your compatibility with your partner’s and give a famous fictional couple from TV shows or movies as your match.

This is a test attempts to find the perfect on-screen duo for you. It checks out our personalities, styles of communication and other oddities that make us real-life couples.

For those of you who are just wondering about which legendary pair represents your love story in th

Up Next

10 Signs You Are A Rebound And Nothing More

Signs You Are A Rebound And Nothing More

The dating world can sometimes feel like you are on a wild roller coaster ride of emotions, full of exhilarating highs and heart breaking lows. And you might find yourself unknowingly become someone’s rebound. But how do you gauge that? What are the signs you are a rebound, and nothing more?

Being someone’s rebound means being an emotional pit stop for them; it’s like they are taking a short break where they are seeking temporary solace before moving on for good. It’s not a good place to be in, honestly.

Today, we are talking to talk about all those glaring signs you are a rebound, so that it’s easier for you to decide if you want to remain one, or let go and wait for someone who gives you the love and respect you deserve.