Sometimes the lie is intended to avoid a fuss or to shield your kids from worry or “adult issues.” In the end, lying hurts because it threatens a child’s security system. Kids need to know what truth is and what it is not. If they can’t get the straight goods from their parents, who can they trust? Kids who hear lies begin to doubt themselves and their parent’s love. They fear the world around them, or else they begin to adopt their parents’ pattern of lies.
If you and your partner can’t get on the same page about the value of truth, and it’s affecting your child’s sense of stability and self, think twice about staying together.
5. Constant conflict
Conflict isn’t inherently bad for kids. If your kids witness you getting into arguments, they learn that it is reasonable to disagree from time to time. The key to healthy parenting is also showing your kids how to resolve conflicts. If you can’t, it’s going to negatively impact your kids.
Regular conflict over money, radically different parenting styles or merely different personality types can contribute to growing animosity between partners. What follows is a cycle of anger, instability, and chaos.
Fact: Unhappy parents don’t raise happy children. According to sociologist Dr. Lisa Strohschein, marital discord has the most significant impact on child mental health, and her research shows that the effects of divorce can be observed in advance of the actual event.
When communication is non-existent beyond the fighting, the goodwill to collaborate has gone, and you’ve hurt each other past what any therapy can repair, it’s time to recognize the severe damage you’re doing to your kids.
If your kids have seen these devastating situations first-hand, they might feel relief in learning the news about the divorce. Or, they may not realize what was right for them at the time, but they will thank and respect you for it years from now.
When your children are parents themselves, they will appreciate the anguish that you went through in deciding to leave your marriage – no matter how difficult it was – to give them a better life. You’ll feel at peace being a role model who shows that everyone deserves to be well, happy, and safe.
You May Also Like:
- 10 Tips To Heal A Child’s Heart After Parental Divorce
- 7 Ways To Help Your Child Cope-Up With Your Divorce
- 7 Practical Tips For Effective and Healthy Co-Parenting After You Remarry
- How You Love Differently When You’re A Child of Divorced Parents