Understanding Your Emotions

Understanding Your Emotions

Have you ever asked yourself what emotions are? Emotions are ‘simply’ energetic vibrations in our bodies, and are caused not by what is happening in the world around us, i.e. by external circumstances (job, family life, relationships), but by our own thoughts about what is happening around us.

It is you, who through your thoughts and emotions, that creates your experience of the world, not the other way around.

As human beings, we experience different emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, stress, resentment, excitement, joy, satisfaction, confusion…

At some point, we were unfortunately taught that feeling emotions, especially the most challenging ones, is not good, because it makes us fragile and vulnerable. But I believe that knowing and managing our emotions makes our lives much better, lighter, and less painful.

Why emotions are important

You may have learned that emotions are only important for some people, i.e. those who are particularly sensitive, but in fact, all human beings feel emotions.

Emotions are important in our lives for four reasons.

  1. Everything we do (or don’t do) happens because we link it to the emotion that we want to experience.
  2. Our thoughts provoke our emotions, and our emotions provoke our actions (or inactions): this is true for everyone. We all have emotions, we just express them differently.
  3. If we think we can achieve great results by ignoring our emotions, we are sadly mistaken! Emotions are the most important link between us and our goals, because our actions (or inactions) are based on how we feel, and what we tell ourselves about these emotions.
  4. Every experience we have in life, in the end, is simply an emotion.

Let me give you an example: you are in a relationship, and the relationship ends.

You can be either pleased or heartbroken about the end of the relationship, this is not because the relationship is ending in itself (known as the situation), but because of your thoughts and meaning you give to the situation (end of the relationship) at that given time.

External conditions are neutral, neither positive nor negative.

if you think about it, the end of a relationship for someone can be a disaster, while for someone else it can be a huge relief. The circumstance is the same (the end of the relationship), but the thoughts, and consequently the emotions, are completely different.

I realize that this is not an easy concept, because we are not used to thinking about thoughts and emotions in this way. It is we who create fear, rejection, or humiliation with our thoughts, most of the time without even realizing it, based on beliefs and convictions that have been with us for years. 

But we can learn to avoid the suffering associated with these emotions by stopping ourselves from simply being stopped by the fear of feeling an emotion.

If you take responsibility for your emotions, then you will have control over the life you lead. To create the life that you desire, you have to take responsibility for how you feel.

I know it seems like an obvious concept: we are adults, we have to be responsible! But if you look around you, you will realize that the majority of people find it difficult to take responsibility for how they feel as it is easier to blame their circumstances for their emotions.

We are all human beings, and we are all equipped with brains, which means that we all have thoughts that create emotions: if you feel a certain way, it means that you are thinking a certain thought, it does not depend on a person or something that happened outside of you.

When you blame circumstances outside of you for how you feel, it is as if you are creating a reality where you cannot solve your own problems: you are giving that circumstance power over your emotions, and over your future, because it is as if you are saying to yourself: ‘I cannot get better until this circumstance changes’.

By saying this you feel stuck and trapped, which is a lie because you always have the ability to choose how you want to feel, and consequently how you want to act.

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