If I say something Danielle does not like, she crosses her arms and says, “You’re not helping me. I don’t want to do this anymore.” “You aren’t listening to me, you just want to follow your own agenda.” “You always blame me, everything is my fault.” She walks out of my office after that. It has taken years of analytic work to get to the point where Danielle recognizes these reactions as temper tantrums and is able to stop, calm herself, and then examine what I have said that triggered her.
Temper tantrums are common for people with BPD and managing them is an important part of building a sense of self-control and stability. For those who did not have help developing a centered sense of self, working with a psychoanalyst can help create it.
Developing a relationship in which hurt and disappointment play out and then are worked through over time, the patient internalizes the dialogue with the analyst and is finally able to develop an inner dialogue that is consoling and rooted in reality.
Written By Roberta Satow Ph.D. Originally Appeared On Psychology Today