Why we Argue in Relationship and How to Handle It

Why we Argue in Relationship and How to Handle It

I found my lost self

at the time I met her.
I was a drifter and
she found me a home.
Not fashioned from bricks,
‘twas her angelic and lovable heart.
I fell in a way that I’ve raised to the heavens.

The love of soul mate completes and fills life with eternal happiness. If relationship is having ups and downs or lacking happiness then we are not into an ideal relationship – If someone says this to you, don’t believe them.

Unfortunately, this is what people believe in the most. Their philosophy of love is driven by this notion and it’s quite wrong. In fact, a recent survey has confirmed that arguments help couples in bridging the gap of communication. However, it doesn’t mean – and I’m not at all exciting you to go and argue – you go and offend your spouse emotionally to invigorate the thrill in the relationship.

Argument is beneficial as long as you both are brawling in favor of your relationship without pointing fingers of blame on each other.

Disrespecting each other can cause a havoc. It runs a never-ending wave of disgust in mind.

The felon here is the negative self-talk.

Our penchant for perfect love often embark us on a heart-wrenching journey.

The pain of feeling unloved breaks the heart first and then shatters the faith. The dark clouds overwhelm the whole sunny sky of love and the voice of negativity whispers, “My love is disregarding me when I need him the most.”

I’m certain you have that invisible evil friend who never leaves you alone and attempts his best to feed your heart with unworthy feelings. This is a critical situation. At this point, relations either become stronger or get destroyed. However, don’t worry.

For feelings are meant to be experienced.

All these dismal chapters of life can be ended and every ending brings a new beginning with it.

The problem occurs when things repeatedly take place and we fail to assess the depth of the situation. We indulge ourselves terribly into the blame game that it unknowingly becomes our habit and we never even feel the need to find and cut the roots of the problems. Although sometimes we feel, but often fail in engaging ourselves in a better way. Consequently our heart cries: gone are those days when we used to fight for each other, now we fight against each other with so much of passion as if we’re practicing to join WWE.

Find the root of problems

Whenever we embark on the journey of love, we feel the eternal happiness, romance and a feeling that is beyond for the senses to comprehend. It is so wonderful that we get addicted to it. The time initial phase gets over, essentially after honeymoon period, the bonding gradually starts crumbling.

Why?

Because unconsciously our minds remain stick to that honeymoon and pre-honeymoon period, it becomes hard for us to come out of that romantic phase and accept the realities of today. We start blaming each other that he or she has been changed, whereas in reality none of us have been changed. If something is changing, that is time.

Those who don’t walk with the time become a thing of the past.

Happy couples understand this phenomenon. They walk with the time and make necessary changes: start seeing love in small gestures that one expresses to his love to make her feel special.

“Have you had lunch?” Even a small question like this shows love and care. But usually we ignore such things for we close our minds with a lid of forethought and expect from our partners to do the things that we probably haven’t even told him but keep in a bucket of expectations.

When we don’t get what we had thought was the ideal way of expressing love, then we doubt on everything we receive and perceive it is not love. It gives rise to the conflict and then comes the misery.

Secure the relationship first, not yourself

Mind is a trickster. We would not even come to know what all thoughts it’s cultivating in our heads. We don’t realize when those arguments come up in our lives and how we, instead of restoring the relationships, focus on securing points in arguments.

No one contemplates when they put their love behind an argument – or discussion as we usually term it. That is the downfall of a relationship when love becomes secondary.

When we argue either we blame each other and make the situation worse or put up resistance in ourselves, which is like delaying the situation to be worse. Both of these reactions bring disaster.

How many times have you regretted after making a spiteful statement? You ought not to put resistance or blame yourself either. It will decimate the love.

Handle arguments like happy couples

Happy couples know an argument over a minor issue is not more important than their relationships. Sometimes arguments just happen, but they never mind those statements made out of anger. Anything good or bad emerges from arguments should be left behind with the arguments.

Recognizing the fact that making nasty statements hurt not only our partners but it inflicts us more and it is detrimental to our relationships.

Take your relationship on a new track, where you can walk together hand in hand. Recall your love. Advise your partner: it’s going to hurt him more than it can ever do to you. So many efforts you would have had made to be together, and you cannot end it like that now.

As per research, if we show understanding and kindness in our relationships, we would have better chances for taking our relationships to its ultimate destiny. Fight, but never let fights to overtake relationship. This intrinsic mannerism comes when couples put each other’s needs above their own.

Understanding where we need to draw the line that we’re forbidden to cross will rejuvenate our relationships – A little gap is the perfect measure as to make two hearts into one entity.

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