When Someone Leaves You, It Is Not The End Of The World

Deepika Elumalai

When Someone Leaves You

When someone very important leaves you, I know it hurts. And I also know that the word “hurt” is too small and trivial to describe the pain it causes. The pain of losing someone even after numerous frantic attempts to make things right is huge. H.U.G.E. It could be your friend, your love, your relative or anyone. But the pain is the same. I understand it.

Because I’ve been through that hell too. Yes, it was difficult. But what got me out of it was a simple thought. I remembered that they had a choice to stay but they chose to leave nevertheless. That speaks volumes, doesn’t it? It took me time to realize that this doesn’t make them bad people. It’s their choice and I’ve got to respect it. So, I decided that I’d rather keep the happy memories intact before they turn into something sad and annoying.

I stopped whining about the choice they made when I realized that I had a choice too. A choice to get back up and stand tall again. A choice to free myself, forgive myself and also them. A choice to give myself the right to make me happy which I’ve been giving out to everyone so easily. A choice to love myself, to accept all my mistakes and imperfections, and to leave behind the anger and remorse.

Yes, it took me time. Lots of it, actually.  Every time I tried to climb up, I fell deeper into it. Trying to forget about it did not help me. I realized that the only way to get out of it was to accept what happened and embrace the pain. It was the hardest decision of my life. But once I stood by my choices, I saw my life turn into something beautiful. Everything inside me became calmer and happier. I started smiling and loving more. I was finally happy. Truly happy by myself which had nothing to do with another human. Self-love is the starting point of all greater things. 

I know that reading this is not going to instantly change your life. But at the same time, I don’t want you to lose hope. I want you to know that there are millions of people who have gone through the same kind of trauma and have defeated it. It wasn’t easy for them but they climbed out of it. How? The answer is acceptance and perseverance.

Let the pain flow. Don’t hold back your tears. Understand that crying is an emotion and not a gender denotation. Keep fighting as hard as you can. Never give up. Never let yourself succumb to despair. I believe you can do this. Everyone who has got out of it believes that you can. The question is do you believe in yourself? I hope that the answer is yes. And I also really hope that you throw away all those reasons you keep holding on to and show the world that you don’t accept defeat!

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— About the Author —

Deepika Elumalai

An aspiring writer. Seeker of the truth of life.

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