โWhat am I doing wrong? Why canโt the other person see in me the things other people do? Maybe Iโm not that special after all. Maybe heโs right. I donโt know what to believe anymore. I just feel insecure and my stomach tightened every time I think about this topic.โ
Iโll tell you something and please, keep it in mind: Your value doesnโt decrease of someoneโs inability to see it. Maybe the reason the other canโt appreciate your value is because heโs not mature enough, heโs not good enough for you or he doesnโt know what he wants. Either way, itโs his problem, not yours.
If someone has myopia and canโt see the letters at the cinema, what will you say? Maybe these letters donโt make any sense or just go check your eyes. The answer is obvious. At least in this case. Maybe this should be our answer when someone doesnโt believe in us, underestimate us and consider us a second choice. โGo check your eyesโ And not to feel insecure and spend days and nights overanalyzing problematic situations in our head. And not to spend time and energy in things that simply donโt make us happy.
Because our value doesnโt decrease from someoneโs inability to see it.
Because the other can act however he wants. He may treat you badly, with no respect, take you for granted. But after a certain point itโs a matter of self-respect. We are the ones responsible to put our limits and to say โwhen itโs necessary- โenough is enough. Iโm doneโ. Donโt put the blame on the other. The question is: โHow much do you love and respect yourself to go away from problematic situations when itโs time to?โ
I know that it can happen sometimes to be treated unfairly, but if we stay there doing nothing, giving excuses to the other person about their behavior while this is happening over and over again, we choose drama for our lives. Because drama is a choice, as well as happiness. People canโt automatically make us sad or happy. We have to let them do so. You can spend your whole life struggling to fit with people that you simply donโt fit. Or you can just take the โsometimes difficult- decision to go away, go outside of your comfort zone and connect with new ones.
Because time is the most important form of energy. Because life is small and its possibilities so big to wait without a reason for a little piece of love. Because you donโt deserve a little piece. You deserve it all, you deserve the whole thing. And whoever makes you doubt this and feel like itโs difficult to be loved, well -guess what- he shouldnโt have a space in your life. Why? Because it takes spaces from people that can be really into you and create something together. Your own something.
And one last thing: remember that your worst enemy is no one else but your pure crazy mind when is trapped, obsessive and self-destroying. But on the other hand, you are in charge of your own brain. And from the time you realize whatโs happening, you have a choice to stay or leave.
โShould I stay or should I go?โ
Please go away.
โBut, Iโm afraid that I may find even worse.โ
Donโt be afraid. The worst is already here. Set yourself free and move one. Follow the sun, follow the smile, follow the warm people. They will lead you to the right direction. Because sometimes we have to forget โwhat we wantโ to remember what we deserve. Because our value doesnโt decrease from someoneโs inability to see it.
This article is written by Simoni Zarkada, Psychology and Communication student from Athens, Greece. For any comments, you can contact me at simonezark@gmail.com.
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