It’s always so exciting when you meet a new guy and exchange numbers. He’ll usually text you the same night, just saying it was good to have met you, and you’re in the cab, feeling quite euphoric. You text back, he responds the next morning, and so on and so forth. All week at work, you get a little grin when your phone goes off with another flirty text from him.
But by the next weekend, you might still be grounded in Text City, when you really want to take off to Dateopolis. Here’s how to get him to take it to the next level:
– First, do some research. (Um, stalking.) Can you friend him on Facebook? Google him. Try to eliminate the possibility that he’s a skeeze, a player, or in a relationship. That would be a bummer, but it’s just better you know up front.
– Drop hints about calling. If you’re ever discussing plans or even just saying, “Talk to you later,” say, “Call me later.” If he starts a new line of texting with “Hey, what’s up?” just say, “Hey driving, want to call me?” (If you live in a big city, “Hey walking, want to call me?” is quite acceptable as well.)
– Start spacing your texts out a little more. You don’t have to respond immediately. You can be “busy.” He may realize that he needs to use other means of communication to reach you.
– Ask him what he’s up to for the weekend. It’s appropriate to send this text on Thursday night. Keep it casual. “Anything exciting going on this weekend?” Hopefully he’ll take that as a way to start making plans.
If he has a busy weekend planned, but you still think it’s worth it to let him know you’re interested, make a little joke. “Sounds like fun! Well I hope one meeting at X bar isn’t the only time we ever hang out.” Throw in an “LOL” or smiley face so you seem less intense about it.
There’s a very, very good chance he will send you a text from the bar one or both nights. You can respond (you can also definitely wait until morning), but you shouldn’t be overly excited – and you definitely shouldn’t run to meet him, or, worse, run over to his place. He’s testing you. Don’t drop everything and rush to see him, or you’ll never be able to get he respect you deserve. You’ll also send a very clear, “I’m OK with being a last resort” message.
From that point on, you, for your part, are finished. He knows you’re interested. If he doesn’t at least make tentative plans for early next week, start moving on. It’s annoying when you’re all excited about a guy’s text and it doesn’t go anywhere, but it happens. But the faster you can call BS, the faster you’ll be back en route to finding the next best thing.