A Fiery Sadness Called Desire – Mind Talk

A Fiery Sadness Called Desire
I love motivational videos and speeches.
But after watching many videos, and listening to numerous speeches, I realized that there were some aspects to motivation that had not been discussed, in much detail.  
This fact struck a chord with me.  
I suppose these ‘aspects of motivation’ that I am referring to are more personal perspectives and principles that are very much ingrained in my life.  They are the main reasons behind any successes I have ever had. 
I want to share my views and experiences with you.
 I will start by sharing, with you, two of my favorite quotes of all time:
“Art is when you hear a knocking from your soul and you answer.”
Terri Guillemets.
“Never let go of that fiery sadness called desire.”
Patti Smith
I came across these two quotes on the internet, a while ago.  I realized they held a lot of significance and meaning for me.  I’ll discuss why, as we go on.
But first, let me discuss two emotions, which are common to all of us.  Most of us have experienced heartache, and I am sure that we have all experienced craving.  These two emotions mostly hold negative connotations.  However, I would like to discuss some more hopeful prospects that come with each sentiment.
First off, Heartache:  I would say there are benefits in experiencing this emotion.  
It can be conducive to discovering hidden objectives, one never knew one had.  
Objectives or capabilities; flairs or gifts.  
 It can lead to discovery of one’s scope.  
The more intense the ache, the more productive the fallout or aftereffect.  
The more bitter the emotion, the more sweet the payoff.  
Emotions that come straight from the gut are the most substantial and legitimate.  They are undeniable, clearly palpable, and the most honest.  If it is felt physically in the flesh – this must therefore mean the emotion is the most valid.  

I will tell you why I think this is.  But before that, let me talk briefly about craving.

Craving after something you can’t get can be a valuable experience.

 To have an appetite for something; a yearning desire; a lust if you will, leads to that ‘fiery sadness’ that can be so worthwhile.
 I really think some negative emotions have the effect of humbling a person down.  Especially if one is reflective and takes time to ponder.  It is almost like one is given a juncture in one’s life; an opportunity to go back to basics; the bare bones of one’s existence.  At these times, one can find out what one is truly made of.  
 I think these times are pivotal – when dormant powers, gifts, and talents get revived.

My personal predicament.

In my much younger days, I used to get stressed during my school life.  
This was very common when I was a teenager.  Teenage angst, the round the clock discipline which is a usual part of schooling, combined with too many exams – A-Levels, and more A-Levels.  I began to feel particularly subdued.  But I also began to get contemplative.
I was always anxious about grades.  I knew I could only try my best.  After much soul-searching, I eventually decided to resign myself to whatever grades I would achieve.  I immediately felt relief, almost a release.  
During a study break, I picked up the nearest pencil and some paper, and walked to a mirror.  I stared at myself, and I started to feel a definitive urge to do something. So I began drawing my own reflection.  It was here and then, that I discovered I could actually draw.  I had an inclination which I learned of for the first time.  

Exams ended and life went on.  And I forgot all about drawing.

I am now a lot older.

I have many hang-ups, but the most intense ones I seem to have, center around romance.  
I have always been a hopeless romantic and I frequently yearn for it.  I have a tendency to fall in love a lot, but my love always seems to be unrequited.  
Alas, my affairs of the heart never seem to materialize.  Romance always seems to be around the corner, but never arrives.    
One day, I happened to by lying on my bed, feeling particularly crestfallen.
Of course, the simple reason was tied to romance: The story of my life!
It’s all terribly sad, really!!
In hindsight, my unrequited love situation may seem a little witless.
 If I took nothing away from the experience, it probably would have been.
 But this essay is ultimately about heartache and craving.
 And actually, I ended up taking legions away from my experience.  And the silver lining was a rediscovery of my ability to draw.
 I began with romantic scenes; Lovers embracing.  And It didn’t stop there.  

 Over the last few years, I’ve drawn so much, and received so many compliments on how good my work is.  It’s now a part of my everyday life.

 “Art is when you hear a knocking from your soul and you answer.”

It could almost be literal: this ‘knocking from the soul’.
I have found that the sound of ‘knocking’ itself, usually comes from Motive.  Motive has an appetite – It is hungry and thirsty.  
Its knocking could be low-pitched, and one must be quiet in one’s mind, in order to hear.
It is not always consistent.
And one should be careful to take note.

The motive, or aspiring ambition, should be cultivated.  And further refinement will lead to accomplishment.

In conclusion, I hope you will gain new perspectives from reading this short piece.

If you do struggle with heartache, it’s only natural to feel despondent.  Contemplate, ponder, reflect, and muse.  
Be humble.  
I wish that during melancholic times, you will feel the pangs of sadness, or fiery desire, that take you down another route. A path to the rediscovery of one’s self.

By Rebecca Ronita

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