Crazy

paglinawan_pearl

I went back to the place where I first met the most beautiful man in my life.

My heart felt as if it’s been stabbed by a knife.
It’s been months, and I thought I’d forget
Those words I should’ve said, but now I regret.
I regret not pouring my heart out ;
I regret not telling you the things about me that I doubt.
I regret not having us, but just you and me,
Now that’s all just history.
I left;
I left not because I didn’t like you anymore;
I left because couldn’t have you at all.
Liking you gave me a reason to live and to heal.
It made me realize all the things I’ve been longing to feel,
But because of it, I realized my greatest fear.
I feared of losing you.
I feared you would hate me if you knew.
But it all climaxed when I realized I love you.
Love was supposed to make things clear;
Love was supposed to make me conquer my fear;
Love was supposed to make me fight!
But because of love, I could no longer sleep at night.
Love was supposed to comfort me;
Instead, it blinded me from reality.
It blinded me from the truth, and it made me drown.
I hate you.
I hate you for being amazing.
I hate you for not being the one kneeling on his knee with a ring.
I hate you for not telling me.
Not telling me if you even care;
Not telling me if even know that I’m there;
Not telling me even if you know the suspense is driving me crazy!
I hate you because I love you even if you’re just standing in the corner.
If I lost my memory, my love for you will never bring us apart.
Because you know;
You know that even if you’re hiding under the table of a crowded room, 
you can still turn my heart into cherry blossoms in full bloom.
I hate you because I can’t stop loving you.
I love you because with all the stars in the sky, you’re still the sun in my life.
I can’t and I won’t let you go!
Because even if love has turned my world up-side-down;
Even if you’ll never see me the way I see you,
I enjoy it.

I enjoy drowning whenever I see you with someone else;

I enjoy how I couldn’t find anything that makes sense;

I enjoy seeing your eyes squint even if I’m not the reason behind your smile
I enjoy hearing you laugh so loud I can hear it from another mile.
Call me crazy!
Call me obsessed!
Call me Pearl for all I care!
But if you’re drowning in an off-limits fish sanctuary, I’d still dive from a cliff to pull you back to life.
I may be crazy,
But I’m only crazy when I’m with you.
Of all the things I expected love to do, I never expected it to make me fall in love with you.
,

— Share —

— About the Author —

paglinawan_pearl

Leave a Reply

— Follow Us —

Up Next

An Open Letter To The Hustlers

An Open Letter To The Hustlers

To be or not to be, to go all in or to unwind and relax, we question our dreams, running in constant chase of our quests to come true, we are the ones who never sleep. Dreamers we are called, the ones who passionately strive in the endeavours of the best they could ever be, here is a letter to me, a letter to you. In the stride of embracing the best you have ever been, nurture your soul before the onset of the abundance in you that lies unseen.

Too bold, too much for your age, you are doing too much, how often have you heard these notions been used to describe you? As we tirelessly strive to achieve the next goal we have in our mind, we are often told that we are being hard on ourselves, to enjoy life a little. Life in its entirety passes by us in its dynamic flair, and the existence we envisage holds unique individuality to each one of us. The choices one makes for themselves belies them and them only, and t

Up Next

How To Remain Centered And Calm In Face Of Difficulty

My life is a mess and I have nothing to be grateful about! I witness myself say this phrase from time to time, where life plonks us into the desperation of ebb and flow of wilderness and things not going in our favour.

It is easy to say we are grateful and in complete balance when things are going well and life feels like the warm embrace of the sun shining on a Sunday morning. But the real test lies in remaining grateful and centred when life feels like spinning out of control.

While it is easier said than done, here are some reminders that might help you get through the days that feel like a burden –

1) This too shall pass, no moment in time that feels permanent loses its impermanence. We often lose hope when things don’t go our way and during these sad days, we should remember, that t

Up Next

15 Most Liberating Thoughts For Someone Who Needs It

Our life unfolds in a succession of revelations of who we are. It is when we sit down and repeat the same sentence in our head over and over again, in every action we perform, every activity we indulge ourselves in, does it indulges into our existence as a habit.

The key to having a sense of liberation is allowing life to flow through, not forcing anything and more essentially not resisting change. I believe that our life improves in the direct proportionality of how often we are exposed to situations where are forced to challenge our age-old beliefs and counterfeited perceptions and seek the greater version of ourselves. When we get too comfortable in the comfort zones we build for ourselves, we do not grow into the people we are meant to be. Sadly most people embrace change only when metamorphosis is the less painful and only possible option.

I know that

Up Next

My Rendezvous With Life

My Rendezvous With Life

The treacherous waters of existence hail in their stride,As the beauty of sailing against the winds uproars in its ride.Benevolence in its yonder stirs the mirth of the true,Navigating the turbulent waves, death and I had a rendezvous.

I sought the beauty of the light that was unseen,In the depths of my muse, I found my world within.Life in its flair, trudged me into the emblems of the dark,The dreams that perspired in the seed embraced their death,As it was time for a new quest to embark.

Quaint whispers that echoed in their gallant stance,The jeers that surmounted the uncertainty galloped in their dance.Silencing the wind, bestriding the fall,I plunged into the entirety of my endeavours that call

For I chose to befriend the walk that marked the

Up Next

The Power of Understanding Your Love Language

The Power of Understanding Your Love Language

Love is the purest emotion one feels towards themselves and another individual. While the expression of love can vary in its entirety from one person to another, the care we hold for the ones we love shares an undeniable impact on how we forge our perceptions of interpersonal relationships. The way we communicate our feelings to someone also says a lot about how we are wired, the method of conveying our affection to our beloved ones is called a love language. You may express affection to the one you love regularly, but do you take the time to ensure that you are communicating it in the way that the other person prefers? Even love can become lost in translation when two individuals speak different love languages.

What are the five love languages?

Up Next

The Beauty Of Gratitude In A World Full Of Cynicism

The Beauty Of Gratitude In A World Full Of Cynicism

Ever acquainted with the phrase that the world that you exist in, the life that you embody dwells in the perception of the stance you hold for yourself. The beauty and the tragedy of life is that it is as beautiful as the optimistic lens of perception and as ugly as the pessimistic view of your being.

The strive of our endeavours and the constant effort to achieve the next massive milestone often drive us to the edges of insanity, to be in the consistent light of greatness we lose sight of the great strings of joy that bind our existence together. To be the best we have ever been we must be mindful of the best we are. Coinciding in the traps of negativity and yet claiming to be the best version of yourself is a blinding truth that lies to only

Up Next

I Breathe In The Sauntering Air That Collapses My Being

I Breathe In The Sauntering Air That Collapses My Being

I breathe in the sauntering air that collapses my being,I breathe through the crevices of my existence unseen.Uncertainty in its yonder strikes in bolt on the scars that nobody sees,Redemption that loves, redemption that is free, find me in the depths of my poetry.

Tales of lust ridden in smeared touches that belie,Entreated with envy, the visions of victory lie.To be or not to be in a question that yet lies,For I yearn for a world where fond passion never dies.

Enclasped in the cage of the deemed duty,Bounded in her vows, she forgot she was a thing of beauty.In a realm we live, where amour in its truth fails to stand tall,She, tired of her existence, submerges herself into the beauty that her dreams enthrall.

Chaos in its uproar hails in its darkness