The Zodiac Signs On Black Friday
The Zodiac Signs On Black Friday
Run-in with your__ ex
ARIES: Brags about how well they’re doing for the entire conversation
TAURUS: Demands that you mail back their favorite socks
GEMINI: Tells you how the friends you introduced them to are doing
CANCER: Publicly picks up your last fight exactly where it left off
LEO: Asks you what you’ve been up to as if checking your social media isn’t part of their bedtime routine
VIRGO: Passive-aggressively mentions they introduced you to ‘this spot’<
Longest relationship
ARIES: A rival yogi from their four-week vinyasa workshop
TAURUS: The Trader Joe’s sample person they see every Sunday
GEMINI: Their best friend’s ex they dated for two weeks to gain insight into their relationship
CANCER: Their high school sweetheart (despite briefly breaking up to explore the dating scene)
LEO: The paediatrician they saw until 25 because Zocdoc is overwhelming
VIRGO: A hot mess who unknowingly inspired their self
How they got tricked into a cult
ARIES: Needed to prove that they could be the most devout
TAURUS: Heard the ceremonies involve soothing epsom salt baths
GEMINI: Just wanted to meet new people
CANCER: Responded to a Craigslist post looking for “like-minded roommates who feel like family”
LEO: The recruiting process made them feel special
VIRGO: Memorized the sacred texts in case there was a pop quiz later
LIBRA: Kep
Which zodiac signs are perfect for marriage?
Aries and leo: Passionate and dynamic bond
Taurus and virgo: Grounded and harmonious marriage
Cancer and pisces: Devoted, loyal, and a caring attitude
Gemini and libra: Romantic and intellectual bond
Virgo and taurus: Reliable and secured bond
Sagittarius and aquarius: Enthusiastic and adventurous, and show an interest in growing together
How to seduce them?
Aries: Key your initials in a heart on the side of their car
Taurus: Build a fully-stocked bunker and lock yourselves inside
Gemini: Memorize the encyclopedia and casually slip a new fact into conversation every day
Cancer: Fashion them a homemade bubblewrap onesie and be very gentle
Leo: Tattoo a detailed portrait of them onto your heart
Virgo: Take them on a date to the container store
Libra: Write their name into the dictiona
When they get good news
ARIES: Stuffs a pillow into their mouth and screams with joy
TAURUS: Treats all their friends to an intimate celebratory evening for ‘no particular reason’
GEMINI: Blasts it on social media before they’ve even processed it
CANCER: Calls everybody they know one at a time to confide in them
LEO: Begs their friends not to make a big deal about it but desperately hopes that they will
VIRGO: Tempers their excitement so they won’t get let d
Turn-on that’s actually a red flag
ARIES: Emotionally unavailable crushes who make you chase them
TAURUS: Play-fighting over every little difference in opinion
GEMINI: People who constantly move between friend groups
CANCER: Being used as an unpaid amateur therapist
LEO: Feeling like the only person who your partner thinks highly of
VIRGO: Pristinely self-curated people who never break character
LIBRA:
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