It took me 180 days to completely change my life. How? I was tired of being miserable, I was tired of settling for less than what I deserved. I woke up and decided I would not sacrifice my happiness for any person, place or thing. I decided I will not make the same mistakes and rerun the same patterns that I created. I decided I would never put my soul in a position to suffer that hinders my growth and well being. The moment I chose myself, is the moment my life changed. I pushed over the domino and it has not stopped. I grew spiritually, I evolved into a high state of consciousness and I continue to rise and grow. This was not easy, I will not lie. I had to break myself down and rebuild from the inside and out. This time I knew I was building a solid foundation that I created and a foundation that I will never allow anyone else to allow to break it down. I let the old me die, to allow my true essence to emerge. In 180 days, I transformed myself and my outer world. The first step was my awakening and self-awareness. 2 years ago I suffered a late miscarriage at 17 weeks. This completely devastated me and my fiance and after that our relationship began to crumble. After the surgery, I was prescribed pain pills and was on them for 3 months and got addicted and he confessed he has been doing them without me knowing through our entire relationship. 7 months later, I was able to heal and detox my body, I removed myself from all antidepressants, all medications.
I was slowly becoming myself again and went through deep inner healing. I stopped eating meat, I stopped smoking and felt my vibration rise. We argued constantly, slept in separate rooms, he projected the pain inside and until I became self-aware, I did the same. I cried myself to sleep, I begged God to take me away, it was the hell I created and the pain was unbearable. The last 2 months together, I was learning to hold my vibration and shield from his lower vibrations. I was able to not allow his words to affect or manipulate me, I took back my power and he knew it and said everything possible to get to me. One night, I felt my soul cry out in the night that woke me up from my slumber. I woke up the next morning and I created a plan. I did not have any money to put a down payment on an apartment. I realized I was giving my power and money away. So, I reached out for assistance from the salvation army and local churches to help with a down payment for an apartment. I was guided to record his voice when he was yelling and was able to send it to an Angel at the salvation army who quickly processed my request as it was considered domestic violence. The request was approved and I received 1,000 and I was then able to secure an apartment, I took my belongings and dog and left. I will never forget the moment, I was handed the keys to my apartment.
I sat in the car and cried and cried. I thanked the universe and promised my soul we will never be here again. I will never forget the moment I had my most prized possession, my English bulldog in the back seat and looked at him and he looked at me and I told him we are going home. I never looked back and the drive to my apartment was the best decision I have ever made. The first night in my apartment, I looked around and I felt so much liberation and strength. I felt the love of self that grew each day. The first week, I slept on the floor and it was the best sleep of my life. I hugged the floor and was so thankful.